Legend of the Phantom

My Home-Made USB Charging Hub

2011-12-20T13:35:00.015+08:00

You are going on a trip overseas and you have a Mobile Phone, a GPS, an iPod, an Android Tablet, a PS2, a Digital Camera and many other electronic devices or gadgets that you are bringing along with you. Each device or gadget has a charger and you cannot imagine the amount of power charging adapters that you have to pack with you. Now, imagine how you are going to charge all these devices or gadgets at the same time (noting that your hotel room may not have that many power sockets).

As a road-warrior, here’s what I do when I travel. I bring along a USB Charging Hub. And if you think, such a thing would be expensive, you are wrong. You can put together a charging hub very affordably. Here’s what you need.

1x Standard Travel Power Adapter
Less than $10.00. Of course, you can get a Travel USB Power Adapter but that will cost you a little more. I chose this because you can use the travel adapter for other regular devices (like your laptop). If you have a Universal USB Power Adapter, then you won’t need the next item.

1x USB Wall Power Adapter
Less than $5.00. This will let you connect the power source to any standard USB Hub and turn that into a USB Charging Hub.

1x USB Car Charger Adapter (Optional)
Less than $10.00. This will be handy for those who plan to charge your devices or gadgets while driving.

1x 4-Port USB Hub
Less than $10.00. I think 4 to 8 Ports would be suffice. But if you don’t think so you can get a can any configuration that you find suitable. You can use this USB hub for connecting various devices to your laptop as well. So its dual use.

Multiple-Device Branch Connector (Optional)
Most of your devices would come with their individual USB charging cables. But if you don’t want the hassle you can just get a multiple-device branch (“sotong”) connector. Cost between $5.00 to $10.00.

USB Extension Cable (Detachable Tips)
Alternatively, you can get a USB cable with detachable tips to suit different devices (about $10.00).

Plastic Organizer Box
This plastic organizer from Daiso is only $2.00. It is nice and flat. Also, you can customize the compartment sizes to a certain extent so that you can organize the above stuffs nicely.

So there you have it... your "home-made" USB Charging Hub. You can now charge multiple devices using the USB Charging Hub.

Tablet or Laptop?

2011-06-16T02:21:00.003+08:00

With the landscape of personal compute fast changing, some of you may wonder the relevance of a laptop when a tablet can do almost what a laptop can do. Afterall, tablets are getting more powerful, more portable and most of all, it comes with ready internet connectivity.

However, before you throw away that laptop, there are still reasons why some people prefer a laptop over a tablet. It very much depends on what you are using the tablet for. If your personal computing is just web-browsing, personal entertainment, personal communications/organizer and light computing, then a tablet will be suffice. But if you have some serious work that you need to do, then a tablet is not ideal. And here’s why…

1) The Keyboard
The most obvious reason why a tablet is never good enough to replace a laptop is in its keyboard. Somehow typing on a touch screen and on a keyboard is of significant difference. Well, you may say that you can always buy an external keyboard but the hassle of carrying a load of external devices around defeat the purpose of having a portable tablet, right?

2) Storage.
The biggest drawback of a tablet is storage. With apps, movies, music, photos, etc… the 32GB or 64 GB storage space is not going to be sufficient and you have to be selective on what you keep on your tablet. External storage is also lacking and limited to mostly SD cards or flash sticks only.

The best way for a tablet to work is via cloud-computing where files are stored on a server instead of on the device. Like a double-edged sword, the cloud can be a life-saver or disaster for you.

The good thing about it is that you need not worry if your files gets corrupted or lost when your tablet crashes or gets lost. The data will always be on the server.

However, there are 3 things that would make people shy away from cloud-computing. They are security, responsiveness of data transfers (connectivity) and reliability/robustness of the infrastructure.

3) The Missing DVD Read/Write Drive
While many tablet users don’t see this as an issue, an ardent laptop user would. Especially if he/she needs to use a laptop to preview DVD/CD materials or reproduce auto-run DVD/CD materials for work.

Also, for those that need to install work-related software from time to time, a tablet will be a no-no because of this. Which will bring me to my next point – Software vs Apps..

4) Software vs Apps
While there are many cool personal computing apps that can replace your MS Office, Photoshop, etc.. many serious work-related and professional software cannot run off a tablet and have to run off a PC or laptop with a Windows, Linux or Mac OS.

5) Connectivity
Though the 3G or 4G mobile broadband and Wi-Fi technology are maturing, there will always be serious work that needs an almost guaranteed cabled connection. Wireless connections are too erratic and disruptive for serious work.

6) Screen Too Small
I cannot imagine working on a tablet for 5-6 hrs everyday. I’d go blind and crazy. Though you can blow up the screen to a HDTV, the hassle of connecting it up to one everyday can be a real chore.

7) Loads External Device Options
To bring a tablet comparable to a laptop, you will need a load of external devices. The load will be enough to discourage any laptop user to switch to tablet. Imagine if one has to carry a bag full of external devices like HDMI cables, adapters, keyboard, DVD drive, etc… you’re better of carrying a laptop

Hence, to conclude, I will not throw away my laptop if I get a tablet. A tablet will be a good to have for me and not a necessity. But I certainly won’t mind having one as a personal companion when I’m on the go… especially on the bus, on the train, on a plane or in between pockets of time to stay productive as I will likely only use it for email, organizer, web-browsing, music, movies, games and some basic drafting of documents, spreadsheets, presentations, etc on the fly… The laptop is what serious work will be done on….

Why is my dad the best dad in the world?

2011-06-10T08:20:00.000+08:00

Today, I’d like to share a story with you. A real life story that I experienced a few years back when I was doing some voluntary work at a family support group to help poor children with English language tuition. I was taking a class of Primary 2 children and I was coaching them on Composition Writing.

The topic that I gave the children was, “Why is my father the best father in the world?”…. I thought this would be a very easy topic to start the children on their writing skills because there will be loads to write on. I gave the children 15 minutes to write as many sentences about the topic as possible.

As the clock ticked away, I observed the children. Some were enthusiastic and writing profusely to beat the 15 minutes timeline. Some were struggling to find the right spelling or words to describe what they want to say.

However, there was one child (Chee Seng) that just sat there. He looked very uneasy and he is not writing and I know why. Chee Seng’s dad is an alcoholic with a long history abusive behaviour against his mother. He’s also a gambler that often gamble away all the money meant for the family. So I understand that this must be a very difficult topic for him to write about.

The 15 minutes was soon up and I made each child bring what they had written and read it out loud before I correct their spelling, grammar, etc.. and returning their assessment back to them.

Most of the children’s composition about the dad came as I expected…. Because he buys me toys... Because he brings us for holidays... Because he is the best cook… Because he plays with me… Because… Because…. Because… and the list goes on.

Soon it was Chee Seng’s turn. He came up and his paper didn’t seem to have much on it. Only one sentence… and that one sentence almost made me cry… He wrote, “My father is the best father in the world because I love him.”

So guys, I hope this sharing will somehow inspire you to do some soul searching. Chee Seng regards his father as the best in the world despite the alcoholic, the abusive bully and the gambler that his dad was. Do you regard your parents as the best parents in the world?

The Wonder Of Microfiber Cloths

2011-04-21T00:37:00.002+08:00

I was at Chinatown recently and I stumbled upon a street-hawker selling these "Magic Cloths". Initially, I didn't pay much attention to his sales pitch. Then he came up to me and asked me to be his demo aid. He took my finger and rub it on some dirty grease. Then he used a dry cloth to try to clean it off. Being exposed to generators maintenance, I know how stubborn grease can be on our hands. So I wasn't surprised that that dry cloth didn't work and I thought, "Now I'm f#^#%.. my fingers are stained"...

Then he dipped that dry cloth into some tap water and started cleaning my finger again. And to my surprise, the grease came off with just water and no chemicals or soap. What surprised me more was that my finger didn't have that sticky, grimly, greasey feeling on it.

The next thing he did really blew me away. By now, the cloth was stained with dirty grease. He ran the cloth under a running tap and the cloth was cleaned. No chemicals, no washing agents. And me being me, I parted with $12.00 for 2 pieces of "Magic Cloths" each no larger than a hanky.

When I got home, I used it to clean my stove and my oven. And true enough, I didn't have to use any chemicals or cleaning liquids. But of course, for very stubborn grime you need to clean it a few more times.

Fascinated by this, I started searching for this wonder product on the internet and I learnt that these "Magic Cloths" are Microfiber Cloths. Here's a link that give you much a quick summary of what it really is and what it can be used for.
Click here to check it out.

I also found a video of a similar street-hawker demonstrating the product. Check out the video here.

Cheers.
The Phantom.
Editor, KPNN.

Just When You Thought Nobody Cares..

2011-01-13T03:01:00.001+08:00

The past few months had been really tough.

On the work front, news of people that had been working with me closely leaving the company is slowly becoming a reality. It is uncertain if their replacements are forthcoming due to re-structuring measures adopted by the company. The thought of doubling or tripling my existing workload is fast becoming a reality as well. Pressures and anxieties are mounting day by day. To the point that even I, who's known for being the Bu Dao Weng (不倒翁 - a tumbler; a roly-poly toy that uprights itself when pushed over), is beginning to find difficulty motivating myself to push on. Imagine, it has come to a point that when I close a sale, I don't know if I should be jubilant or depressed.

On the family front, the situation is worse. Dad and mom had been taking turns to check-in for their "vacations" at the Singapore General Hospital. Dad's condition is bad. The wound on his leg is not healing and just the day before yesterday, we got news that his toe needs to be amputated. At 82, and along with the long strings of other diabetic & cardio illnesses attached, this amputation is a rather complicated one.

Apart from the expected after-surgery and recovery-care expenses (as the surgery expenses is likely taken care of via Medisave), the potential stress of coping with the emotional and physical aftermath of the surgery is sinking in and hard to dismiss. Money, we can try to raise and find a means to get around. But emotional & physical aftermath is most challenging (especially mom). Though dad seems resigned to his fate, we all know deep within how he really feels. My dad may be a strong man (he's my master of the Bu Dao Weng heritage), but he's only human to feel fear, pain and anxieties. It is not difficult to empathize what he's going through.

The kids are also down with a bad flu and caring for them (especially the little one) is one big challenge. Me being also down with flu didn't make it any easier.

Each day, I struggle through hell and back. Physically, I begin to feel the effects of aging and I realized that at 47 (soon), I cannot be running at the pace as I did when I was in my prime. Mentally, the uncertainties and hardship at work and family is not something one can call trivial. Emotionally, I had to brace myself together and keep myself motivated to maintain morale, confidence and strength for the people around me that may be looking up to me for support.

Last night, I came home from a long day at work. We had an event to capture for webcast. I was up at 6am before the sunrise and didn't get home till past 10pm (way past sun set). I missed my dinner and I was darn hungry. I was too tired to neither cook nor walk to buy food. So I just scavenge for snacks to gobble down hurriedly. I just want to hit the showers and get to bed.

When I finally hit the sheets, I realized Isaiah crying in the dark. I went over to ask him what's wrong. He gave me a big hug and said, "Daddy, I love you."

"I love you too son, but why are you crying?", I replied.

It was then that he looked at me in the eye and I realized that he didn't know how to tell me that it pains him to see me having to drag myself to work such long hours despite being sick and didn't even have a decent dinner because I'm too tired. When I get him to acknowledge it he cried even more.

Tears filled my eyes. They were tears of mixed emotions. Tears of pain because I know how much I had neglected him lately. Tears of joy because I feel appreciated (especially in times like this).

He reminded me of Iggi when he was 5 yrs old where I went down in life in 2002 (which I swear were my darkest moments of my life.. My life was literally torn apart then). How Iggi had stood by me then and he comforted me with his innocence and sensible ways. He was my reason to push myself on.. to get me where I am today.

And today, just as life's roller-coaster took a down-swing.. just when I thought nobody cares about what I go through.. by a stroke of coincidence (or perhaps, it's God's miraculous and divine way of showing his love), I found comfort to know that many do care, but they just don't know how to express it to comfort me.

I know deep within me whom these people are. They are very dear to my heart and I want you to know that I love all of you a lot even though sometimes it may not appear so. I may be harsh, cynical or critical most of the times, but deep within, I love you all. I may not be good in expressing that love to you. So, please forgive me. Because, it is really hard to smile when you have a nail up your ass.

I just want to say, I know you love me too and you are right behind me in every inch that I thread on this rocky road. Even though I may seem alone, I know you are out there watching over me in pain. You should know whom you are... and I love you lots..

Thank you.

The Phantom
(Editor, KPNN)

A Short Note Made From Quotes of PRIDE…

2010-09-06T02:56:00.001+08:00

Vanity and pride are two different things. Though these words are often used synonymously, a person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves…. And vanity, to what we would have others think of us.

A man with a strong pride coming from his selfishness is easily flattered. Flattery blinds him from reality and eventually, that leaves him in an artificial made-believed world of his own -- which will only become a mockery in the eyes of the people in the real world.

A proud man is always looking down on things and people… and of course, as long as he’s looking down, he can't see something that's above him (God).

It was pride that turned angels into devils. It is humility that makes men angels.

Temper gets you into trouble. Pride keeps you there. Forgiveness sets you free.

No one was ever choked to death by swallowing his pride.

Humility is the ability to give up your pride and still retain your dignity.

There is this paradox in pride -- it makes some men ridiculous, but prevents others from becoming so.

So to conclude,
Pride can make you or it can break you. Pride is noble and honourable when it is set alongside with humility, love and compassion. It becomes distasteful, disgraceful and shameless when arrogance, prejudice and selfishness have it their way.

Sometimes Being Thankful Can Make The Difference..

2010-08-16T13:29:00.003+08:00

An incident over the weekend prompted me to reflect upon how often do we feel thankful for the blessings that we have each day… and I’d like to share it with all of you.

Over the weekend, we went to Katong for the infamous Katong Laksa and to visit the Catholic Store near the Church of the Holy Family to buy a new Crucifix, some books, etc. After that, we stumbled upon this tempting “Temptations” (the name of the outlet) along East Coast Road. So, we decided to check it out. The place is quite nice… squeakily clean, pleasant greeting staff and of course, tempting cakes and pastries.. We ordered some cakes and a pot of tea as our afternoon delight treat.

While having tea, Isaiah dropped a piece of his cake on the pristine floor of the café and I immediately picked it up and highlighted it to the waiter (and apologize, of course), saying, “I’m sorry. My son dropped a piece of cake on the floor. I picked it up but I guess you need to clean it with a wet cloth later.” Then, he gave me an annoyed look, acknowledged it with an artificially polite ‘OK’ before walking away.

A while later, Isaiah dropped another piece of cake on the floor again. And again, I picked it up and feeling embarrassed, I approach another waiter (a Caucasian kid) to inform him that he might want to use a wet cloth to clean it up later.

To my pleasant surprise, the second waiter smiled and thanked me for (a) picking up the cake and (b) for telling him about the “invisible” mess (that sweet sticky residue) on the floor. He immediately took a wet mop to clean the affected area. He said, “Thank you, sir for bringing this to our attention. Else, we would not have known and ants would have made their way here.”

I was pleasantly surprised. Not because he bothered to clean up the “invisible” mess as requested by me but because he thanked me for giving him more “trouble”. Indeed, most people would have responded like the first waiter.. shun away at being asked to do something unwelcoming and viewing my feedback as a “chore”. The second waiter's response was impressionable not because he only proceed to perform that unwelcoming task diligently, but he did so with such a lot of grace and he was even thankful that this chore that was brought to his attention.

You see, many patrons would not even care to do anything if they dropped a piece of cake on the floor. They would leave the onus of the cleaning to the service staff of the café. Most service staff would shun upon it as a chore (some may even pretend that they didn’t see it, heheh) and respond to it with a negative emotion (like the first waiter). Thus, the first surprise I had with second waiter’s response was that he was thankful for me picking it up (saving him the trouble of having to do that). The second surprise came when he was actually thankful for me telling him about the “invisible” mess that I left behind that would have otherwise attract ants if unattended. That appreciation and being thankful motivated him to perform the chore with such delight and grace.

The second waiter’s attitude impressed me and inspired me to remind myself that we should always be thankful for everything we have… even if it meant that we would have to undertake undesirable, daunting and additional chores in life… Being thankful (in this case) is the difference on how we can turn a daunting chore into a graceful deed…

Indentifying & Understanding Undesirable Perceptions.

2010-03-08T11:40:00.005+08:00

In my previous article, I highlighted 3 steps in managing our perceptions. This posting will elaborate on the first step… that is to identify and understand how you normally perceive things. I have deliberately used vision impairing terms to describe a few of them

Types of Undesirable Perceptions:
There are many types of undesirable perceptions (too many to try to classify them all) but I’ve somewhat categorized the more common ones. Of course, there may be some other relevant ones that you may wish to include for your own personal reference and self-actualization.

Premature Perceptions:
This often happens to people who are impatient or who thinks that they know it all. They discard critical and relevant information but prematurely forms a perception based on their “past experiences”, “professional” knowledge, etc... etc… and make a sweeping association.

Prejudice & Bias Perceptions:
When there are prejudice or bias judgments or perceptions, these people reject all other perceptions except their own. The difference between Prejudice & Bias Perceptions and Premature Perception is that premature one are not prejudice or bias in nature. They are only “jumping into conclusions too quickly”. Prejudice & Bias Perceptions are more than that. They are usually vindictive and vengeful that is much more worrying than premature perceptions.

Cataract Perceptions:
This happens when our perceptions are being impaired by things that cloud our perceptions. Obstruction may be anything from things that we are blind to; obstructed from; or don’t have sufficient information to complete forming a clear perception.

Myopic Perceptions:
All of us suffer from myopic perceptions at one time or other. A man standing right in front of the Empire State Building was asking for directions from a lady. The lady took him two blocks down the road, turned around and pointed to the building that he was standing in front of a few minutes ago. This category of people can never see what is obvious and immediate before them. They only focus far away when the answers are right in front of them. They tend to be unrealistic and indulge in wishful thinking most of the time.

Hyperopic Perceptions:
Like chickens, this category of people’s vision is only limited to their narrow and immediate sights (which is only 1m or so). They cannot see what’s beyond what their eyes could see or beyond what they could understand. In short, they are unable to see a big picture. They fear what is beyond. They get uncomfortable, angry and refused to believe things that they cannot see.

Dylectic Perceptions:
Just like people suffering from dyslexia, this category of people’s perceptions is a result of their inability to distinguish right from wrong… emotional or logical… Their perceptions are often vastly influenced by various stimuli. They are often in a confused state of affairs and their perceptions can sway given the slightest influence. This usually result in people being fickle minded.

Misled & Manipulated Perceptions:
This form of perception can either be self-induced or stimulated. People with such habits of perception are usually highly suspicious and manipulative in nature. And because of their inert nature, they form perceptions in very extreme focus. They look out for the slightest things that arouse their suspicions and they will continue to focus on those suspicions and they will manipulate their perception to only accept the conclusion that they lead themselves to believe in. This leads to a very destructive perception.

Conclusion:
Have you identify how you sometimes undesirably perceive things? Can you now consciously determine what triggers your undesirable perceptions? If yes, you are ready to move on to the next step. If not, try to understand the importance of how your undesirable perceptions are formed because it is critical. If you cannot identify why you predominantly perceive things in undesirable ways, you will never see anything wrong.

In my next blog posting, I will touch on the evaluation of how undesirable perceptions make their way into turning you into a person that you are not… or turning you into a person that you don’t wish to be. The evaluation process will reveal how your emotions and subconscious traits are turning you into becoming the person that you are.

Cheers.

Perceptions – How they shape our lives?

2010-02-22T02:27:00.004+08:00

It had been a while since I last updated my blog and I had a little reflection today that motivated me to blog about it.

Our minds perceive things through our senses... what we see… what we hear… what we smell… what we taste…. and most of all, what we feel… The impact of the data being processed in our minds will form perceptions. Hence, when our perceptions are impaired by obstructions or lack of information, prejudice, speculations, etc… we often find ourselves in unsure or compromised positions. This stimulates our emotions and character within ourselves. Be it insecurity, jealousy, anger, resentment, self-pity, arrogance, conceitedness, complacency, stubbornness, etc; these responses are stimulated by the way we perceives things.

If our perceptions are not corrected, our responses will trigger thoughts… thoughts trigger actions.. actions trigger habits… habits become character… and character becomes destiny…This explains why some people are what they are.

It is true that when different people look out of a same window, they see different things. What each individual sees depends on what he/she chooses to set his/her focus on… and nobody can say that his/her vision is correct and others are wrong. When we feel that the other’s vision is “wrong”, it is only because it differs from our very own perceptions. It doesn’t necessarily mean their vision is wrong. And especially when it conflicts with our perceptions and when one starts to justify their perception/actions, then an adverse breakdown in relationships may soon occur.

So how much do we understand about “our perceptions”? Do we bother to evaluate or understand the way our perceptions in a situation are formed? Do we respond to our perceptions appropriately? And more importantly, do we avoid being a victim of our very own perceptions? I’m sure many of you have heard about the story about the child that was afraid of his own shadow. But how ready are you in stepping out of your own shadows?

While, I’m no expert in this area, I do have blessings of the things that I went through in life to help me manage my perceptions. I do it in 3 simple steps:-
- Identify and understand what type of perception that you are experiencing?
- Ask, “What are these perceptions transforming you into? Is that really what you want to be?”
- Recognize what you want to be and correct your perceptions to facilitate that.

I will try to elaborate more on these 3 simple steps in my next blog posting. But for now, try taking a second look at the way you perceive things or try challenging your own perceptions. I’m certain that if you do, you will find that perception can be changed, moderated or compromised. Changing to a “healthy perception” will eventually change the way you live your life.

Cheers.

Why am I not good enough?

2009-12-17T17:47:00.003+08:00

Have you ever asked yourself this? If you have, take a look at the advice given herein. I think it is a very good piece of advice.

QUESTION:-
Why am I not good enough?

ANSWER:-
Before I attempt to answer that question, let me ask you this. Did she say that to you? Or were you asking yourself this?

If she was the one that asked you this, she might be:-
a) Insecure and saying it to get a bit of attention from you.
b) Really feeling this with valid reasons and she’s giving you a chance to resolve her concerns.
c) Just using it as an excuse to justify whatever she has up her sleeves and playing you like a yo-yo.

If she is insecure, and if you’re not tired of reassuring her, then simple… give her some TLC. There’s nothing to be concerned. It’s just natural part of a relationship.

If there’s really valid reasons for concerns, then you should really look into it and work on it before it gets out of hand. Try to reach a resolution or if not, a compromise at least.

But if she is just using this crap as an excuse to manipulate you like a yo-yo, then the point of contention is not just if you’re good enough. You have a serious relationship issue that I suggest that you two sit down to sort it out and to figure out if you guys ought to be together in the first place.

If you were the one asking yourself this, you must be:
a) Truly, madly and deeply in love with her and you only want the best for her.
b) Feeling inferior and small or feeling insecure or in need of TLC..
c) Feeling jealous or annoyed because she’s always praising or comparing someone else with you.

If you are truly in love with her and asked yourself this from time to time, it will be to reflect if you had given your best to her. Then there’s nothing to worry about. She’s a lucky woman.

If you feel inferior or insecure, don’t be too hard on yourself. We all come to this junction at one point in time or another. Just be careful that you do not make that transition of making it a habit or using it as a means to get what you want. This is because; she will get tired of re-assuring you and mothering you. There’d come a time that she will eventually have enough of it and really feel that you’re not good enough (thanks to you because you made it true by nurturing it).

If you feel jealous or annoyed because someone is always better, then you have to identify if the problem is you or it is her. If the problem is you being jealous, what’s your problem? She chose you right? So no matter how much she praises someone else, it just amounts to nonchalant ramblings of “why is the grass greener on the other side”. Deal with it.

But if her demeanor is with intent to humiliate you, then you have reasons that call for concern. You should seriously determine what is the agenda of your relationship and if this is the type of relationship that you would want.

So, to answer your question, “Why am I not good enough?”…. my answer will be “Does she love you?”… If she does, then it would not matter if you are good enough for her or not?... If she doesn't, then you will never ever going to be good enough...

Overcoming Yourself..

2009-09-09T15:35:00.005+08:00

“You are who you think you are”… this is very true in every aspect of that statement. It is not difficult to see that we are often our biggest obstacle… not the problem itself… not the people around us… not fate… not destiny… In every situation (even in the worst), there is always a brighter side of things… a positive side that we can focus on…

So how do we move from a state of helplessness to a state of empowerment? How do we overcome those negative thoughts that are distracting you and keeping you from moving ahead? How do we overcome ourselves?

When something bad happens (and I can tell you.. bad things will ALWAYS happen), there are two ways that we can respond to it... react negatively to it… or react positively to it… We all know the consequence of our negative response and the need to respond positively. Then why it is easier said than done? Is responding positively really so difficult?

Honestly, there may be a million answers why humans respond negatively when they know that they shouldn’t. I’m sure I can write a quite an endless list of it but why would I want to do that? Do you see where I’m heading? I mean why spend good energy & efforts to try to measure something that will give you an undesirable outcome anyway? Isn’t that unproductive? Why don’t we focus on the positive thoughts? But how to do that when negative thoughts keep popping up before you? (familiar?)

Here’s how I do it. I saw a joke about a problem solving flowchart and I thought to myself that the answer could be in a simple flowchart below:-

Well, if you’re the sort that screams… “but… but”… GET REAL… GET DECISIVE… In life, there are not but’s.. I mean, seriously,… if you cannot solve the problem and nothing can be done about it, then dwelling on it or feeling lousy about it (till the cows come home) ain’t gonna help either. Discard those contemplating negative thoughts immediately before they consume you.

And if you’re the type that goes… “what if this”… “what if that”…. Try using “so what if” and “so what are you doing about it?” instead… For example:
“So what if I have cancer? What am I gonna do about it?”…
“So what if I’m a bankrupt? What am I gonna do about it?”…
“So what if I’m gonna die tomorrow? What am I gonna do about it?”…

You see, it is not “what if I’m gonna die tomorrow” that will matter… it is what you decide to do AFTER you make that statement “so what?”…
“So what if I’m gonna die tomorrow? I still have now till tomorrow to be happy?”
THAT… my friends… is what makes the difference… Instead of sulking your way to your grave, won’t one be better off enjoying whatever one has left till then..

In this perspective, the problem don’t matter anymore. Since you cannot do anything to change the destination, you can always choose how you wanna get there, can’t you?

Cheers.

PS:
Below is a good video on how to "Think Happy".

Vote For The Ugliest Singaporean

2009-04-16T03:19:00.001+08:00

Online Surveys & Market Research

How do we handle obstacles in life?

2009-03-18T02:12:00.004+08:00

Today, I'd like to pay a special tribute to a cab driver. I was in his cab on my way to meet a client this morning and was caught in a massive jam. Then we realized what caused the jam.. AN OPENED UMBRELLA in the middle of the road.

Upon seeing this, the cab driver put on his hazard lights, slowed down and STOPPED. He got out of his cab and remove the opened umbrella in the rain and went on.

There must had been dozen of cars before us that had seen it but ALL avoided the opened umbrella. All except the cab driver.

I commended the cab driver saying that people like him makes a difference. But he humbly just said, "it is nothing lar.. it is only right to do it"..

So my question to all of you reading this is, when you stumble upon obstacles or problems in our lives, what do you do? Do you evade it like all other drivers before us did? Or do you make that little sacrifice for the good of everyone?

This is a good point to reflect upon because, how we make a difference in our lives depends on what each and everyone does. If everyone thinks that this is not my problem and just ignore it, let me remind all of you that everyone will suffer as a result of that.. including YOU..

In a wider context, if the problem or obstacle is amplified (like global warming, poverty, fuel shortage, etc).. can you imagine what will happen if everyone chooses to ignore instead of choosing to exercise your sense of duty to our fellow men?

So friends, the next time you stumble upon something that you can do to make a difference, what would you do?

Cheers.
Martin

Bring Out The Best Of Me..

2009-03-04T17:35:00.005+08:00

When you look into the Report Card of your children.. the Appraisal Report of your staff… the Marketing Survey Report of a product, etc.. What is the first thing that you look for? Is it

(A) The areas where failure or bad results are reflected?.. OR..
(B) The areas where excellence is achieved?

It is obvious that most people will zoom right into to those subjects marked with red ink. We want to know what went wrong. We want everything “defect-free”. We want our staff or our children to overcome each and every weakness in them to become a better worker or student. When we find results that are off the tangent, we whip up a long list of suggestions on how to get things “right”.. or get the “desired” results over your weaknesses.. etc..

Well, if the above is what you had been doing to manage the people and things in your life.. STOP !!! (for a moment at least and LISTEN)

For a moment, I’d like you to reverse the roles that you played. Now you are a child.. an employee.. etc.. You are presenting a Report Card (or sorts) to your parent or boss. How do you feel? Are you afraid? Are you looking for reasons to defend or justify your failures or weaknesses? Or you simply don’t care because you know that even if you had the best results, it will never be good enough?

Now.. with this in mind.. go back to your original role of a parent or a boss. What do you do? Do you try to find the most effective means to give constructive and objective criticisms and opinions about their failures or weakness? How would you try to educate and motivate your incumbent to improve on the areas that he/she had failed or are weak in?

Well, I’d like to share with you something unorthodox and uncommon. Many academics and contemporaries may raise eye brows at the manner in which I handled such situations. But so far, it had worked well for me.

First, when I look into the report cards, the first thing I look for, are areas that the incumbent had excelled in (not the areas where he/she screwed up). Just as there are reasons to why one did badly in the failed areas, there are reasons why they excel in the areas that they did well. I want to evaluate and assess those areas where the incumbent excels in because these are the areas where he/she is most motivated and will strive to excel further. If we groom them in those areas, it will make them elites in those areas.

Which approach would you think will draw more effective results? To work an uphill task to manage the negative side of an individual whom had likely failed because he/she isn’t interested or motivated in those areas assessed?.. or.. to stroke him/her positively to bring out better results for those areas that he/she excels in?

Do you want the incumbent to put more effort into the failed areas at the expense of the areas that he/she already excels in? Or do you want him to continue to excel in the areas where he/she is already good in? In other words, do you want to put in more money to salvage a failed project (mindful.. it may fail again)? Or do you want to spend more money to improve on a project that is already successful?

While it is important (and it is in every parent’s or manager’s interest and desire) to develop an all-rounded child or employee, we need to know how to deal with their weaknesses. It is crucial that we acknowledge them as weaknesses, accept them as such and find a compromise to deal with it rather that forcing them to work on it. An individual’s weakness should not impair or impede him/her from his/her pursuit in those other areas where he/she excels in.

So what if Beethoven was a handicapped? Everyone still recognized how great his music was. So what if Steve Jobs didn’t have a college degree? People still regard him as a talent and the CEO of Apple Computers. I’m sure you can find more examples of such talents.

When one is THAT GOOD in what they do, it is easy for others to overlook your weaknesses. Your weaknesses become insignificant in comparison to your success. But first, your success MUST be substantial. There are many ways where weaknesses may be compensated. Do you think Lewis Hamilton services the racing car on his own? Do you think Fandi Ahmad goes out on his own to source and procure advertisements or endorsements deals? When you are successful, you don’t have to worry about the things that you are weak in.. you can simply hire someone good in those areas to do the job.

To sum it up, don’t let weaknesses hinder our growth in our other areas of excellence. If you are a parent, teacher or manager, change the way you manage the people around you. This school of thought can be applied in many other areas of our daily lives not just in our academic or career advancements. Remember.. bring out the best of our children.. not the worst..

The 7 Virtues Of A Catholic.

2009-02-09T00:49:00.006+08:00

Catholics, are guided by the Seven Catholic Virtues that comprises the Four Cardinal Virtues (being Prudence; Justice; Temperance & Fortitude), and the Three Theological Virtues (being Faith; Hope & Charity). While I'm far from being a model Catholic, these teachings had shaped my life.

Trust me, when I was a child (I was a born-Catholic), I have absolutely no idea what all these means. But as I grew (as a rebellious child) and with constant guidance of my stern parents and educators in those mission schools that I was in, I’ve matured to understand the true meaning of carrying my cross.

After having tasted many moments of glory and countless adversities & crisis, these virtues that was subtly imparted to me, became my pillar of strength and wisdom. I’d like to share with all of you this wisdom that I found and how it prepared me for the life that I led. If you are not a Catholic, just read this with an open mind and ponder over its wisdom.

Prudence:
As a child, my judgments are often impaired by my immaturity. Even as an adolescent or a young adult (and even now, at my age) my reasons for actions are often influenced by peers, greed, fear, etc. As I grew and as I was exposed to more complications and external influences of life, finding appropriateness for my action is no longer something that comes to mind easily. And this teaching of prudence allowed me to examine my each course of action carefully with due consideration of the intent of my actions, the means of execution and the consequence of my actions. With prudence, comes respect, loyalty, piety, humility, honesty, righteousness, etc.

Justice:
When I was young, justice revolves around getting what is rightfully mine and what I rightfully deserve. My quest for fairness is often selfish and is often a knee-jerk reaction towards a challenge or a threat posed to my areas of comfort. However, after having suffered countless episodes of so-called “injustice”, I’ve learnt that justice is not just the pursuit for a righteous cause but in doing so with understanding, empathy and compassion for your fellow man on the other side of the fence. Sometimes justice may well be an extension of forgiveness so that the one that hurt you may have the opportunity to repent. Our sense of justice should not be just confined to pursuit of fairness but also to refrain from taking liberty on others even when you have the right to do so.

Temperance:
To a child, restraint, self-control or moderation is beyond his comprehension. It is impossible to confine and reason with a child that one cannot simply indulge in his desires without boundaries. I had a hard time understanding this as a kid. Try telling a kid that he has to exercise self-control and he could not have his ice-cream. As I grew, I’ve learnt to accept that there are many things that I cannot afford or I can’t have despite how strong my desires for it may be. I learnt that the more I crave for something I wanted badly, the worse I will feel when I can’t get it. Thus, I’ve learnt to accept what I can’t have instead and I found that I felt better that way. I was later challenged on this virtue that this will advocate a lack of desire and contentment will leave a person to become lazy. Well, temperance doesn’t forbid you to have desires; it really means the knowledge of the boundaries of your desires and exercising restraint to keep your desires in appropriateness.

Fortitude:
As a child, I equate courage with might, dominance and opposing authority. That got me into lots of trouble. When growing up, I came to understand that courage or bravery is really the ability to confront pain, fear, danger, uncertainty or intimidation be it physically, emotionally, mentally or morally (as to act righteously under duress). This virtue had helped me overcome the many adversities and had made me more resilient.

Faith:
As a child, faith is spiritual belief of a divine God. It is still a spiritual belief in the same divine God as I grew but with the exception that faith extends beyond God for me now. Faith now includes everything else on this earth and beyond. Most importantly, faith is for mankind. Faith is to believe in the goodness of life (even when we don’t see it). It enabled me to remain steadfast in my beliefs, my morals, my ethics, my principles. Faith is not blind but a trust in God, yourself, mankind and whatever that you love. When you have faith, nothing will ever stand in your way.

Hope:
As a child, hope is wishful thinking. Hope, to a child is wishes. But even as an adult, some of us are still unable to differentiate between hope and wishes. Hope is really about will and not passion. And hope is the anticipation of goodness (be it physically, emotionally or whatever). With hope, one can bear the brunt of all pain, miseries and misfortunes. One can look at all the bad things in our lives and say to ourselves, “It’s ok. It’s all for the good that’s going to come tomorrow.” Hope keeps us motivated.. keep our dreams alive.. and never give up.. no matter how hopeless the situation seems to be.

Charity:
Charity is (in my opinion) the most important virtue to uphold. Charity was taught to us as being kind, compassionate, caring, etc. However, (to me) charity is love and forgiveness. With love, comes kindness, compassion, etc. With forgiveness, comes charity. Charity has taught me to be less selfish. Selfishness is where greed, dominance, lust and all other self-centered attributes are pivoted. When one is selfish, he loses his prudence; he forgets what justice is; his temperance and fortitude waivers; his faith weakens and his hopes are only hopes for selfish desires. Love liberates our selfishness and forgiveness strengthens our love.

Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover

2009-01-15T23:19:00.003+08:00

This metaphorical phrase may be something that we all know. But how many of us really apply that in our daily lives?

Before you answer that, ask yourself..
“How many times have you form opinions based on assumptions and not facts?”..
“How many times do you make judgments too quickly without giving truth a chance to unveil?”..
“How many times have you worked yourself to make those assumptions or speculations into make-believed obstacles for yourself?”.. and..
“How many times you decided that something is best for someone only to realize that he/she felt otherwise?”…

I am learning to consciously remind myself of this and I’m happy that I’m making good progress. I’ve learnt not to make assumptions or speculations so as to build walls around myself that obstructs or impairs my abilities to draw sound conclusions. Now I know how to find a higher ground each time I have an obstacle in front of me so that I can appreciate the situation better. I can now solve problems better by applying that basic rule of law that states “Presumed innocent until proven guilty”. In my own interpretation, “Presumed good until proven bad”…

You see, when we close our doors and build walls around us, we stop the flow of possible doubts. All we see is what we want to see. But what we see, may not always be the true picture. They are illusions, limited and influenced by our personal perceptions, assumptions, values, thoughts, emotions, history, etc. And if we are to make decisions based on such contorted visions, our judgment may then becomes prejudiced impaired.

We have to learn how to be constructive and objective when arriving at conclusions. Not easy but with the few tips I highlighted in this article, I hope you guys will get by.

Cheers.

Iggi's Home-Coming 2008

2008-11-26T03:39:00.000+08:00

Iggi arrived from Southampton on 23 Nov 2008. It had been 2 yrs since I last saw him in the UK on my trade mission there. He had grown so much since. I took 3 weeks of leave to be with him.

Today, I brought him to visit my mom and dad. Dad was so happy to see him. He brought him down to “show” him off to everyone in the neighbourhood.. The people in the coffeeshop, the provision shop, the mama shop, etc.. Dad kept telling everyone that this is his favourite grandson and I guess THAT really made Iggi felt special. I saw that smile on Iggi’s face as he walked dad around the neighbourhood.

Dad’s blind in one eye (from diabetes) and his sight for his other is failing too. His frail legs were wobbly but Iggi’s young hands held onto him steadily. And as I watched them walked, I’m glad I took time off work to spend time with both dad and Iggi.

When I was cutting dad’s nails (my weekly routine), I was beginning to realize how much dad had aged. His nerves are all dead and he lost most of his sense of feeling. He could not manage anymore without his walking stick.

Iggi sat there looking at me (in my reading glasses) cutting Dad’s nails said, “Dad, I wished I’d be around to cut your nails when you become as old like grandpa… but I hope I won’t need reading glasses like you though”… he giggled…

Iggi had always been a sensible kid. I know deep within him, he misses all of us. The feeling of living in the UK and being so distant from us must had really pinched him. He was merely trying to hide it with his sense of humour. In this, he’s takes on so much of Dad and me.. We’re warriors of life.. we took life by its horns and wrestles it with our smiles and laughters.

Dad had been a real example to me. He showed me that despite his struggles in life, there’s always a reason to smile. If not for his pillar of strength and optimism, I would not have learnt how to survive the adversities that I had been subjected to. And it is with this same blessings that Iggi inherits this trait in our family roots.

Now, by becoming the proud son of a great father, I’ve become a proud father myself to see a great lad in the making. Dad & Iggi may not be perfect beings but they’d always be GOOD ENOUGH… and that, my friends, is more than what any man can ask for..

Dropping A Pebble In The Waters.

2008-10-30T11:54:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

Never underestimate the small things that you do everyday. Be it just a smile or lifting your hand to hold the door for someone. You will never know what it will mean to the recipient and its rippling effects.

This is a very nice quote and you may have heard it many times before but never taken much notice of it. I'm telling you that when James Foley cited this quote, I'm sure he knew that someone will benefit from it.. but little did he know that he changed my life and my whole outlook of life with that little 'pebble' that he dropped...

Enjoy this masterpiece..

Drop A Pebble In The Water
Drop a pebble in the water; just a splash, and it is gone;
But there's half-a-mile of ripples circling on and on and on,
Spreading, spreading from the centre, flowing on out to the sea.
And there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.

Drop a pebble in the water; in a minute.. you'd forget,
But there're little waves a-flowing, and there're ripples circling yet,
And those little waves a-flowing and into a big wave it has grown;
You've disturbed a mighty river just by dropping in a stone.

Drop an unkind word, or carelessness: in a minute.. it is gone;
But there's half-a-mile of ripples circling on and on and on.
They keep spreading, spreading, spreading from the centre as they go,
And there is no way to stop them, once you've started them to flow.

Drop an unkind word, or carelessness: in a minute.. you'd forget;
But there're little waves a-flowing, and there're ripples circling yet,
And perhaps in some sad heart a mighty wave of tears you've stirred,
Or you may disturbed a life that was happy somewhere when you dropped that unkind word.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: just a flash and it is gone;
But there's half-a-mile of ripples circling on and on and on,
Bearing hope and joy and comfort on each splashing, dashing wave
Til you wouldn't believe the volume of the one kind word you gave.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: in a minute you forget;
But there's gladness still a-swelling, and there's joy a-circling yet,
And you've rolled a wave of comfort whose sweet music can be heard
Over miles and miles of water just by dropping one kind word.
(by James W. Foley)

Starting Over...

2008-10-22T15:11:00.000+08:00

Very often when one stumbles upon something hard that hits them, they're withdrawn and their whole life comes apart. I know because I been there too many times. The good news is.. I've come out a better man..

Dealing with the aftermath of any misfortunes or setbacks in life is never easy. Especially, where emotions or financial losses are involved. One can expect to experience pain, resentment, and even hatred, perhaps. How then can we walk out of our own shadows? I'm not a trained psychologist but here's how I've coped.

Acknowledgment:
This is the first step.You have to come to terms with whatever that you're confronted with. Accept the reality. Admit that the issues, events or experiences are now a reality. Being in denial and avoiding the facts may temporarily conceal the problem but it will only come back to haunt you in your moments of weakness. For example, if a relationship is over accept that its over. Why prolong your agony and lie to yourself that it is not?

Seeking A Closure:
Once you have acknowledged that the issue, event or experience, the next thing that you need to do is to find a closure to it. Grief if you must, but know that you have to have a closure soon. This process is extremely difficult to deal with and sometimes it may take forever to find a closure. One of the ways to find a closure is to get support from family or friends. But remember, support are like crutches. They can aid you and be your support, but you still have to have the will to stand up and walk. Some people abuses the sympathy and support they get from family and friends. Some even glorify it for attention and dwell upon it in self pity. Just make sure you do not make this transition because that will give you every reason why you wouldn't want a closure. Having a closure is not as simple as just "switching it off". Here, I'm saying that you have to motivate yourself to have the desire to close that bad chapter of your life.

Confrontation:
This is the battle ground (really). This is where you fight your emotions, your toils and your woes. Having acknowledged and closed that bad episode, you now have to take this on to heal. Our instinctive response when "threat" is presented, is really to "Fight-or-Flight". Both are acceptable options as they are designed to ensure survival. Thus, the battle now becomes one of the mind. To emerge victorious, one must strive to work towards a win-win outcome. Just remember, take on your emotions and fight it as hard as you can. But when it becomes too overwhelming, retreat safely and re-engage it again when you're rested. NEVER engage when you are weary unless you are darn confident you can weather it thru. Its ok to lose a battle but don't lose the war.

Forgive:
Many people think that forgiveness is for those that inflict pain on us. On the contrary, forgiveness is for ourselves. Stop blaming people or even blaming yourself. It may seem so hard to forgive but in reality, it is just so easy to forgive. You only need to have ONE motivation to wanna do that.. and that is.. to wanna liberate yourself. Imagine this, how long do you wanna hate a person (or yourself)? Do you wanna bring this hatred into your grave? Why bear such brunt on someone or something so undeserving when you can embrace the other blessings of life?

Don't believe me? Well, when my marriage went up in smokes, the rage and injustice was so overwhelming at that point in time. But now that I've healed and now when I look back, I didn't feel a thing anymore. I only just feel really stupid that why I hadn't snap out of it any sooner to enjoy the other sweetness around me. DON'T be too pre-occupied with pain, hatred, etc. and as such, deny yourself from the other immediate blessings. Like what I always like to say, "Count our blessings, NOT our misfortunes"..

Heal:
Like any sore or wound, we need to heal. Once you've learnt how to forgive, healing is almost a natural process. You just need to remember to apply or take your medication diligently. In this case, your medication is reaching out to help others in distress with your experience. By sharing and helping others, you will realize the blessings around you and how fortunate that you didn't cross the "other side".. you can talk about your experience without feeling the pain anymore... you will have reasons to be thankful and your self esteem gets stronger.

Procrastination

2008-08-04T06:12:00.001+08:00

Procrastination.. something that we are all guilty of at one point in time or another..

Procrastination is a disease. It eats into you slowly but surely until you are eventually overwhelmed with stuffs to do that it will be almost impossible to get anything done.

Procrastination is avoiding doing something. It is not being able to get things started. It is not being able to finish what you planned to do.

Procrastination is writing a list.. and forever writing a list but never gets anything important done.. It is about making excuses to do it later but “later” never comes. It is about being so busy with so many “more important” things that you need to do.. but the truth is, none of any of them usually contributes to what is important.

Procrastination is lying to yourself that you’re a perfectionist and the only reason why you have not moved ahead with your plan is because you haven’t found the “best” way of executing it yet.

Procrastination is avoiding taking ownership and refusing to make the decision to resolve a problem hoping that the problem will go away by avoiding dealing with it.

Procrastination is about spending too much time worrying over things rather than really doing it. It is about making a task unduly complicated. It is about indecisiveness and fear of making wrong decisions. It is about the lack of urgency and an inability to act on a task right away.

Procrastination is the lack of discipline.. and my definition of discipline is “the ability to force yourself to do the things that are difficult, the things that you dislike, or the things that you don’t want to do”.

Procrastination is the lack of being focus.. the lack of drive or motivation.. the lack of pragmatism (in other words you’re a “day-dreamer”)..

Procrastination is really plain laziness. It is idling your time away rather than working on things that really ought to be done (like reading this when you ought to be doing what’s on your “To Do List”).

Make yourself useful today.. STOP PROCRASTINATING..

Cheers.
Martin

The Meaning Of LOVE...

2008-05-25T01:31:00.000+08:00

When we talk about love, the first thing that comes to mind is probably, a romantic dinner, a walk hand-in-hand on the beach, snuggling up to each other or even a sensual sexual experience…

But the morbid truth is, those sweet nothings aren’t love. They are often short-lived. Then sacrifices, hardships, disappointments, pain, etc. will set in. It is only when we can weather all these sufferings and yet, still finds joy and satisfaction from it, that true love exists.

It is common that many find the sufferings of love hard to bear. As such, many of us develop a very deep misconception about love.

“If it is painful, how can that be love?”, some may ask.

“Indeed, love is not about sufferings. It is about finding joy.. in giving and in bearing the pain of loving someone”... will be my reply.

So how does one find love aka joy in bearing up the pains of love? Well, honestly, I’m still struggling with that question. But after going thru so much in life, I’ve found that it is really not difficult to love with no boundaries.

Love’s highest hierarchy is spiritual love… love for God (whatever your religion is)… You may say that this should be relatively easy loving someone as perfect as God. But yet, many can only accept God’s love. Few can reciprocate because God demands that we love everything and everybody in this world including our enemies. Finding divine love is most difficult as humans are selfish in many ways.

Next is genetic love (i.e. love of parents, children, siblings, etc). This comes very naturally as nature already builds a very strong bonding within us. Finding joy and satisfaction in making sacrifices and bearing pain for a kin is a lot easier. However, many still cannot love their kin as they should. Conflicts arise and sometimes, love becomes more of an obligation rather than love itself. When love becomes a burden or becomes an obligation, love spurns into something else (often, resentment, pain, etc). The trick is never to allow love to make that transition. Build on that natural bonding and uncover the power of love in overcoming whatever differences or challenges that may exist.

Love between spouses or partners. This is probably the most complex form of love. Often brought together initially by physical and/or emotional attractions, these are rarely reasons strong enough to build love. For relationships that pivot on physical and/or emotional attributes, it takes a lot of efforts for love to grow. This is because physical and emotional attractions are very strong catalysts of love. But at the same time, they are also the same reasons why couples will stray. To take love beyond physical and emotional boundaries, it requires a lot self motivation and determination to weather thru the challenges that love entails. And this, my friends, is what I think will bring us true love.

There are many other forms of love (I’m sure you guys will have no problem identifying them). But the underlying secret of finding true love is really about finding the self motivation and determination to weather thru the challenges of love. If your determination survives all the odds, you’d find love even if the one you love does not reciprocate. If not, all you feel is just hurt and disappointments.

PS:
And if you're one of those that are blessed by being loved by someone, don't forget to reciprocate.

Love,
The Phantom.

.

The Grail Of LIFE...

2008-04-17T23:55:00.003+08:00

Hi Guys,

This is not the Holy Grail... This is the grail of my LIFE... Whatever I put into it, is whatever my life will turn out to be...

If I fill it with miseries, hatred, resentment, anger, jealousy, pain, etc... my life will turn out to be miserable, hateful, resentful... filled with anger, jealousy, pain, etc...

If I fill it with love, joy, laughter, happiness, etc... my life will turn out to be loving, joyous... filled with laughter, happiness, etc...

Life will always present you with a buffet of distractions that attempts to take away happiness from you... On the table, you'd find a fine spead of miseries, pain, anguish, hate, anger, jealousy, greed, etc... but friends... nobody can force you to place these into your grail...

CHOICE is one of the most precious gifts that God had ever given us... Use It Wisely...

Love,
The Phantom

A Moment Of Prayers...

2008-04-10T23:54:00.001+08:00

Dear Friends,

Today I received one of the worst news of my life. My dad is in the hospital at this moment. The doctor called me today to break the news of his scope results. They found growths (polyps) in his colon. From all their preliminary findings, it suggests that it is likely cancer. More conclusive tests are now being carried out. I really didn't know how to react to the news. I know how cruel colon cancer can be (been there.. survived it).. It is a painful torture leading to death for those that could not live to tell. My dad is 79 yrs old with cardio and diabetic complications. There is no way that he could possibly survive a surgical procedure.

My dad is a man with extraordinary will. Nothing had ever conquered him (I probably inherited a little of our "bu-dao weng" traits). He had already survived 5 cardio surgeries. Endured more than 15 years of pain in being a diabetic. And not to mention, 40 years of hatred from the woman that he loved dearly.

When the doctor broke the news to us, I could see (for the first time) the fear in his eyes. But still, he fought on to ask the doctor in a trembling voice, "so how much time do I have"... I just could not keep my tears from falling when I heard that... I felt the urge to shout out, "GOD! LET IT BE ME! LET IT BE ME!"... and I really mean it... If I could I would rather take his place.

But dad quickly composed himself and said, "it's ok, son.. it's time, anyway". I tried to dismiss his resignation. I asked him what happen to the man that taught me, "there's nothing that we can't overcome"? I told him that he had fought death 5 times. He could do it again.

He just smiled and said, "It's enough. I think this will be my final penance to pay for all my sins... I just pray that God will not make this final penance too painful to serve".

The only thing he wanted me to do for him is to carry on his torch to love and take good care of mom while he's gone.. And for those of you who know my family well, this responsibility to keep the torch's flame burning is no easy feat.

Mom had loved and hated him for more than 40 yrs. She loves him so much to endure the pains he caused her but at the same time, she couldn't bring herself to truly forgive him. Hopefully, now she could really let it go... Honestly, I haven't the slightest clue on how to break the news to her yet.

It is really an irony. I had always been his prodigal son and I had been angry with him for almost all my life (until recent years). But I was the only one by his side when the news was broken (my two brothers are overseas). I'm glad we made that reconciliation (thanks to Ting) and caught up a little on all those lost years. I just wished mom had done the same.

Pray for us, guys... we need a miracle now...

The Phantom.

Simplicity.. Sometimes We Complicate Our Problems..

2008-02-26T10:27:00.000+08:00

Dear friends,

Recently, I read reviews on how much our government is spending to arrest the traffic congestion problems here in Singapore. They are investing in hi-tech multi-functional traffic intelligence systems to monitor & "predict" traffic (erm... so that they will know to place your next ERP gantry. perhaps)...

I agree that solving traffic congestions in Singapore is no easy feat. However, after paying billions of dollars and imposing tremendous hardship on its citizens AND YET being unable to solve the problem, is something that continues to baffle me. This brings me to a story that I've heard many years ago.

When NASA sent their astronauts into space in the early 1960s, they needed a ballpoint pen that is able to write in zero-gravity & freezing temperatures. They used a specially-designed pen known as the Fisher AG-7 Space Pen. It is nitrogen-pressurized and the pen worked in "freezing cold, desert heat, underwater and upside down," as well as the zero-gravity of outer space. It was developed by an enterprising individual, Paul C. Fisher, owner of the Fisher Space Pen Company. Fisher spent "thousands of hours and millions of dollars" of his own in research and development. The Russians took a simple approach. They used pencils.

One may look at the story and laugh over it. But really, this is probably what we are going through at this point in time. Our minds often make a simple problem more complex than it really is. While I embrace the use of technology to provide traffic intelligence, the data collected can be better utilized than to erect ERP gantries.

This is a link to an UNPUBLISHED LETTER to the Straits Times by Mr Rodney Wong that sums up (very interestingly) the perils of our Ministry of Transport. I do not know if that article will still be available online by the time you guys hit this link but if you want a copy, you can drop me a line (I've saved a copy of it).

Your food for thoughts today.

Cheers.

The Phantom
Editor, KPNN
(Kay Poh News Network)

Your Cheating Heart... (Part 2)

2008-01-18T04:54:00.000+08:00

Hi Friends,
First let me apologize for the delay in coming up with Part 2 of “Your Cheating Heart”… I had been really busy.. I finally found some time to finish this “thesis” (heheh)… So, here it is…

1. Where do we go from here?
Life is about choices… so what happens when you have cheated on your partner or vice versa? Well, there are a few things that can happen…

a) Break up…
b) Launch of counter-attacks…
c) Accommodating affair…
d) Ending the affair & making up...

The toughest part is deciding what to do. This is because there are a lot of emotions and considerations involved at both ends. But most of all, it is not just your decision that we have to deal with here. It is the decision of all the 3 of you that we have to deal with. So, how the 3 of you intend to move on from here is really a very complex puzzle to unravel because most of the times, your decisions don’t match… In fact, they are likely to conflict…

2. So how should you deal with this?
Before I attempt to address this, let’s take a look at what goes through the minds of each party when there’s infidelity in a relationship. Let us list them down here and take a good look at it. For those of you reading this and if you’re in a predicament like this, do this with me as well by listing anything else that I’ve missed… This exercise will help…

For the victim,
- they’d feel hurt…
- they’d feel angry…
- they start to blame (either themselves, the third party or their partners)
- they continue to condemn (either themselves, the 3rd party or their partners)
- they start to form their own perspectives…
- the final showdown (whatever the course of actions that they decided upon)…
- they’d go on to defend they decisions aggressively and bitterly…

For the errant partner,
- they know it is showdown
- they either feel guilty… caught in a dilemma… or they had already anticipated this…
- if they’re guilty, they will likely try to salvage the relationship with no progress…
- if they’re caught in a dilemma, good luck… you need more than Asprins for this…
- if they’ve already anticipated this day, they already know what to do…
- then they’d either initiate their decision or try to respond to the decision of their partners..
- they’d try to defend & contain the damage by trying to justify their errant act…
- they’d either give in or contest aggressively and bitterly for what they want (whatever they may be)…

For the third-party (surprised that I even mentioned this? Well, their involvement in the equation is always forgotten or ignored.. but their feelings, actions, etc. in fact, contributes a lot to the saga.. we can’t ignore it)…
- they’re either glad that it’s finally exposed… or they’re scared… or they’re guilty/ashamed… or they get ready to battle for what they want…
- their course of actions hereafter is either to let the affair end… or to get caught in their own indecisiveness… or to pursue what they want…

3. Dealing with it.
Now… looking at all the possible outcomes (in Para 1) and all that’s mentioned (in Para 2), here’s what I’d recommend each party to do… (erm… are you still holding that piece of paper to continue with this exercise?)… heh…

OK… first, understand what you’re going through (whether you’re the victim, the errant partner or the third party). Dealing with the trauma of confrontation, anger, hurt, resentment, guilt, etc. is more than what we can handle. It is so easy to be drawn by your emotions to react in a manner that will be against everybody’s interest (including yourself). Blinded by emotions, your capacity to make a sound decision is impaired. Believe it or not, most people who’ve walked away from a failed infidel relationship often regret the way they executed their choices of decisions. For some, they may have moved on.. but for some, there was never a closure. Therefore, understanding what you’re going through will help you see the path before you a little more clearly. List down what you’re feeling so that you can identify them. (go on.. what are you waiting for?)

Next, don’t rush into deciding what you want to do. Explore your options, its cause & effects, its consequences, implications, etc. Many couples fight bitter divorces just for the sake of fighting. They want “justice” (in other words, they want “revenge” or they think the other party’s demands are way unreasonable). A good example is the fight for the custody of children. How many divorced parents, do you think, actually fight for the custody of their children in the best interests of their children? How many estrange couples actually sit down to discuss their options and decide upon one that’s best for everyone? More often than not, it is their individual’s interests (or perceived interests) that is motivating the fight for the custody. This is why no couples had ever walked away from the court feeling happy about what the courts ordered (even if they won custody). This is simply because they will NEVER get what they’re fighting for, absolutely.

While, logically, these all sound very easy to comprehend, it is very emotionally driven and many are blinded by emotions when caught in the trauma of dealing with infidelity (be it for the victim or the errant partner and not forgetting the constant catalyst of the third party) in deciding what needs to be done. So, start listing down your options, its cause & effects, consequences, implications, etc. and start looking at them logically rather than emotionally. Use the matrix below to help you:-

Partner’s Response	I want to Break Up	I want to Get Even	I want to Make Up	etc	etc
Agree	List all the best & worst scenarios	List all the best & worst scenarios	List all the best & worst scenarios	List all the best & worst scenarios	List all the best & worst scenarios
Disagree	List all the best & worst scenarios	List all the best & worst scenarios	List all the best & worst scenarios	List all the best & worst scenarios	List all the best & worst scenarios

Here’s what you do:
a) Draw up a matrix like the one above.
b) On the left column place how your partner will respond to the various options of your decision to deal with the affair (either agree or disagree).
c) On the top of rest of the other columns, list what you want to do or how you want to deal with the affair.
d) Within each cell, list all the considerations fulfilled, the best scenarios and worst scenarios.
e) Use a highlighter to single out all the “worst” scenarios within the cells
f) Take a look at the matrix now… look at your options again… look at all the worst scenarios highlighted and identify which are the ones that you want to avoid…
g) Your choice will be obvious…

To view how to use the matrix here, watch the video below.. the context may be different but the theory is the same..

If you had surpassed the first two stages (logically not emotionally), you’re pretty much ok. You should by then be capable of making sound decisions in the interest of everyone. Thus, the next stage is the healing process (which I’d talk more about it in the next point).

4. The Healing Process
Believe it or not, whatever your decisions may be (i.e. to break up, getting even, accommodating the affair, ending the affair, etc), getting over it is not as easy as you may think it might be…

To effectively heal, you’ve got to first acknowledge that the affair has happened. There is nothing that you can do to reverse that. Come to terms with it. Don’t be in denial. Only then would you be able to identify the emotions that you are experiencing. Only then would you be able to start the healing process. If the hurt (self-pity), the bitterness, the anger, the resentment, etc is still there, you can’t heal… you simply cannot heal if that thorn is still stuck in your flesh… pull out that thorn and let the healing start.

Next, make an agreement. Agree on how all of you will move ahead from here. STOP all the blaming and STOP making excuses for yourself. Stick to the things that you agree on. You can’t move on unless you can wrap up and discard all those issues that are history. You can't fit new clothes in your wardrobe without throwing out all the old ones. If you’ve decided to end the affair, stop meeting your lover. If you have decided to forgive him, wash any thought of the affair from your memory. If you guys had decided to split, stop feeling sour over the failed relationship. Whatever you do, DON’T RE-VISIT the issue all over again and bring back all the hurt, anger, etc.

You have to be conscious on how you want to move on constantly. In other words, you must be willing to heal. It is very easy to slip back into self-pity, bitterness, etc. even AFTER coming to terms with it. Therefore, you need to be conscious that you WANT to snap out of this and HEAL. Make a list of what you can do to help you move on. For example, start dating someone new (if you decided to end the relationship).. start dating your partner again (if you’ve decided to give it another shot).. The list can consist of many things that you can do. You don’t have to do all of them, but you should use that to make you conscious of your quest (i.e. to move on).

Having a list is not good enough… the execution effort is important… people always say, “talk is cheap.. show me your actions”. The same applies here. You’ve dealt with the problem. Now, deal with the healing. You can have lots of people around you nudging you on… giving you advices… but ultimately, it is YOU who can help yourself to heal. You must want to heal and more importantly, you must make that effort to heal.

Best wishes.
Martin

Your Cheating Heart... (Part 1)

2007-11-02T20:31:00.000+08:00

Hi Friends,

Lately, my mailbox & phone had been flooded with emails & calls from acquaintances, friends, cyber-pals and even strangers (thanks to those of you who forward my emails to your friends)... I have quite a fair bit of people here seeking advice on anything and everything... from how to shut down the annoying alarm of a screwed-up alarm system of a car, to how to deal with a partner struck with a terminal disease... I seem to be a convenient walking "know-all" directory service... heheh...

And don't worry, it is not that I mind being swamp with such requests.. just that I may take some time reverting because of work, family and such... In fact, I do enjoy being able to help... it feels good to see a friend walking away feeling good, happy or relieved... However, let me first qualify myself... While I love to offer advices based on my personal opinions and views (yes, they're strictly personal), I'm not a professional counselor nor am I a trained "whatever"... so, as much as my advice makes sense, please exercise your own judgment and discretion when interpreting my advices..

Well... today, I have another interesting message to share... someone asked me why do people cheat and how we should deal with it…

When I first attempted to answer this question, I thought it would be so easy (especially as a victim of cheating heart)... But as I go along with it, it took me 2 days and a lot of soul searching before I came out with this reply... My draft email was edited over and over again (in the quiet hours of the night) because as I wrote, I found that my conception of opinions is constantly being challenged within myself... so here it is... my final reply (Part 1)

People cheat for many reasons (or excuses)… we all know that… It is wrong to assume that they cheat because of sexual desires though most of the time, cheating leads to sex... Contrary to beliefs that men (or women) cheat because of sex, most actually started out cheating because of some other (and more valid) reasons. However, victims are more likely to disagree because:

1) They're in denial... or
2) They're too blinded by hurt (thus, whatever the reasons given become excuses)..

I think, the most common reason why people cheat is because they are not happy about their present relationships.. It may be anything from money, habits, feeling unappreciated from partners, personality conflicts, bad sex, whatever... No?... Think again.. If one is truly happy in a relationship, they won't have the time nor energy to even think about cheating.. They will be so eager to rush home after work.. looking forward to see their partners.. and so on.. (remember the courtship or honeymoon period of your relationship)...

However, when one starts to feels unappreciated, unloved, etc., they have a tendency to look for comfort somewhere else. And when they chance upon an opportunity, they cheat.

To prevent this from happening, do not let these ill-feelings build up within you. Nip the problem at the bud... the longer you withhold these ill-feelings, the harder it will be for the couple to try to resolve it. If you are unhappy about your relationship, let it be known (of course, in a very leveled, diplomatic and open-communicated way)... A couple must learn how to communicate to each other and be committed to resolve whatever problems that they have through compromising each other's need (remember my 5C's)...

Another common reason to cheat is vengeance. This can be because your partner had previous cheated on you or even because you are merely suspecting that your partner is cheating. The latter is especially true when you become obsessed with your self-suspicions that your partner is cheating on you. Our human minds are capable of planting illusions and accelerate reasoning beyond our comprehension. You can make your own suspicions so real in your imaginations, can't you? Thus, instead on confronting your suspicions in a constructive manner, many choose to retaliate by cheating and justifying it with vengeance.

Again, if you haven't forgiven your partner whom had previously cheated, do so now. If you have doubts, clear them. By withholding such bitterness or resentment, it is a time-bomb waiting to explode. Don't hide it. Make it known to your partner, how it is affecting you and get all the reassurance that you need from him/her to see you through this relationship. You have to try to reconcile with this. If you can't, get out of the relationship rather than cheating on it.. At least, your relationship would have ended because of the real reason rather that one of you cheating.

Next.. curiosity. If your relationship is very mundane and if you are one person that is very adventurous and curious, you will cheat. You'd be surprised how many couples do not communicate their needs to each other. Why? How the hell would I know? Well, I guess it's probably because they feel ashamed of having such thoughts or perhaps, they are apprehensive about how their partners may look at it. But come on guys… you are a couple... would you rather have him/her communicating their fantasies to another person? Maintain a very open relationship. Encourage each other to share their inner curiosities with each other. I mean, you can always get your appetite from outside... but you can always make it a habit to "eat home" every time...

Then we have greed. Greed can come in many forms.. physical, sexual, emotional, financial, intellectual, psychological, etc.. Many would think that greed can never be satisfied. True in many ways but it is not something that cannot be managed. Again, couples must have an open communication channel to discuss this so that they can work together on how both can overcome this.

Finally, to stop your partner (or yourself) from cheating, you need to work at it from two angles. First, rid out the possible causes (like jealousy, anger, resentment, bitterness, low-esteem, etc) thru communication.. and then, reinforce your relationship with compromise & commitment.

As the saying goes, "prevention is better than cure"… Getting rid of possible causes will be half the battle won... and this can be achieved through open communications. Remember, you are a couple. There's nothing that you can't talk to each other about. You just need respect, love, willingness to listen, and all the other essential ingredients needed for good communications. The more you talk about your needs, desires, problems, etc.. the more you can work to resolve the issues at hand... the more you will be able to strengthen that bonding between the two of you.

To seal it off... unless you are not willing to be committed to a relationship, one will always find a way to stay committed to a relationship despite all odds... Staying faithful isn't that difficult afterall... You just have to imagine the hurt you will be causing to your partners (both spouse & lover) and consequences of innocent lives (like children)... and I'm sure you'd find a way...

I'd leave you with a song that I hope will motivate those contemplating on cheating... Listen to its lyrics carefully... that was the song that kept me hanging on to try to save my previous marriage...

Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast

Cheers

Martin

PS:

I will touch on Part 2 (Cheated… how to deal with it) after I give some thoughts to it… Patient, ok? Look out for my next issue, ok.. Heheh…

Keeping That Flame Of Love Alive...

2007-10-26T02:24:00.000+08:00

Today, a friend asked me for some advice on relationships.. I gave her my advice. And reading it again, I found it quite nice.. so here are some extracts of it...

There are many things that affect a relationship and sure, there will be many challenges that will surface, but it should not be the basis on how the relationship should nurture from.

I would think that my 5Cs are basic in any relationships. Yes, I conjured up these 5Cs as my guiding principles of maintaining a relationship. Of course, there are other things but if you have your foundation in these 5Cs, the other things can be easily managed with the 5Cs...

Communication
This is most important. Most relationships fail because of this. Communication is a two-way thingy... speaking & listening... many people HEAR,, but they don't listen... Listening and understanding is more important than speaking... for speaking, how the message is communicated across is also important... Respect for each other then becomes a good basis of managing good communication...

Commitment
This will determine how much a couple will go to resolve the problems that they will be faced with in life... Life is full of ups and downs... how much commitment each party has towards their relationship, will determine how far the relationship will go... couples that are committed to a relationship is likely to able to resolve differences better than couples that are not... With commitment, many issues can be (and will be) resolved...

Compromise
Life is about expectations... managing expectations is core to living a fulfilling life... a relationship is no different... Accepting the limitations and shortcomings of your partner is never easy... most people find it so easy to complain about the shortcomings of their partners but find it hard to compliment their partners on their positive attributes... one advise is to focus on the good side of things and not the bad... dwelling on the bad side of things will only bring ill-feelings, regrets, anger, resentment, etc... Thus, the core of compromising is forgiveness... the more couples are ready to forgive, the lesser will be their problems... be it money, personality, habits... ANYTHING...

Care & Concern
Showing care and concern may sound easy... but to do so in trying times or in times of crisis can be challenging. Usually care and concern becomes a burden when the going gets tough... its not about love anymore... its not about obligations... its not about right or wrong... its how much you are STILL willing to GIVE for the relationship that will really matter...

Chemistry & Connectivity
Love and affection are by-products of this... how much you feel for each other is dependent on how well you both are connected... be it intellectually, emotionally, physically, spiritually, whatever... every aspect of connectivity is important and lack of it in any aspect will lead to a flaw in your relationship.. and unless you have a way to deal with such flaws, your chemistry and connectivity will be compromised... chemistry and connectivity can be used very easily to cultivate bonding between couples... Thus, find time to be intimate... to pursue common goals and interests... to continue to develop those sparks that ignited this relationship...

I hope you would find this advice useful...

Cheers.

Attaining Contentment???

2007-10-18T20:32:00.000+08:00

Everyday... I hear people grumbling about the long hours they have to work to make ends meet... how cost of living keep going up... how they are this and how they are that...

Honestly, I had been to the edge and back, I have gone through enough in life to understand that the value of life is more than just how much money you have in your pocket... or how good you look... or how highly your "friends" think of you... I can't help but walk away shaking my head...

"Oh... C'mon"... you may brush it off saying this... but hey... if it is affecting your life (or the way you live your life), THINK AGAIN...

Everyday, millions of people rush through their days without really feeling contented about their lives... and this is sad... people rush in and out of the day pursuing dreams... material needs... etc... without any satisfaction...

What makes it worse, is that they sink deeper and deeper in discontent each day pursuing their obsessions. Some even become so depress that they become dysfunctional.

Lately, there's a lot of publicity on Mental Health in Singapore and there's a reason.. Many people are suffering from depression, stress, etc... that can lead to very serious psychological problems..

Speaking from my own experiences of "riches to rags" (literally), failed relationships (just so many), failures (who can claim that they don't have any) and near death experiences (I've had a few), etc.. I know that coping with contentment is easier said than done...

Everyone must have heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs at one point in time or another... but how many actually dwell upon it??

Friends, there are many things in our lives that are far more important that we are ignoring... instead, we are driving ourselves to the limits with our obsessions or self-made illusions of needs..

No? Well... have you ever give up a meal so that you can save that few dollars for that dress or that shoe that you were dying to buy?? Or have you rather take a loan to buy that car and pay through your nose than to take a bus (just because you're wearing a tie)? Or have you rather borrow money from someone close just to join your friends for party than to stay at home and chat with your folks?

You see guys, you've got all your priorities wrong... there are some things that are needs and necessities in life... many things that you guys are pursuing aren't necessities... they're your obsessions... Know the difference and you'd find that attaining contentment is not so hard afterall... You'd find more reasons to be happy than to complain...

Of course, if you choose to complain, it is just so easy... and we all know how easy we can pick up something and complain about it (don't we?)... but why do we want to do that when we can focus on what we have and plan on how we are going to use it to make us happy instead of running after that rabbit that won't fill our stomach?

Yes, I'm saying that a lot of the miseries that we are facing are self-inflicted... you have a choice to lower your expectations but you choose not to... Who says that bankruptcy is the end of your road??? Who says that a divorcee can never find love again? Who says that you can only make ends meet by working 16 hrs a day?... it is YOU, my friends...

YOU chose to buy that car or condo.. YOU chose to tell yourself that you can't survive on that low salary.. YOU chose to the lifestyle that you want not because you needed it, but because you wanted it...

So friends, re-evaluate your priorities in life... when you do, you'd find that there are many things that you perceive as a "need" may just be a "want"... Think about it...

Cheers
Martin

If You Find It Hard To Forgive...

2007-09-29T18:32:00.000+08:00

Hi,

I've been taking stock of my life regularly and lately, while doing some housekeeping on my PC, I notice some emails exchange I had with my ex-wife... many were angry, resentful and heated exchanges... Reading thru them brought back many bad memories and even tears..

This set me thinking... if someone had hurt me that bad, how can I ever forgive that person? How would forgiveness ever make things right? Or how would forgiveness bring justice to all the pain I went thru? Why should I even want to forgive?

Well friends, if you think that forgiveness is for the people that hurt you, then you're darn wrong.

Forgiveness is about YOU. It is about finding a closure for the things that are still hurting you.. things that are still keeping you angy & resentful.. things that still bring guilt and fear to you.. and things that takes away happiness from your lives..

For those who can't forgive, they will always be trapped within that state of pain, anger, resentment, guilt, etc... Such ill feelings will only deny you of the capacity and ability to find happiness and to embrace the love of others or the love of themselves.. As a result, one who can't forgive will always be sad, angry, etc... and his/her world will only be surrounded by vengeance, hatred, self-pity, etc.. There is no room for happiness, fun, love, etc..

I know because I've been there... for 5 years, I've been trapped... for 5 years, I've hated my ex-wife for all the injustice that she had done unto me... for 5 years, I've been planning and seeking justice... my whole life then, was nothing else but trying to get back what I deserved.

And you know what? Even if I had gotten the justice that I deserved... so what? Will that ease the pain that I already went thru? Will that ever recover what I've lost? The answer is NO... Then why was I so uptight in the first place?

You see, my friends, refusal to forgive is a good excuse to remain in pain, to get sympathy... to refuse to forgive, gives you "reasons" to remain angry, to indulge in resentfulness or self-pity.. and that's why many people do not want to forgive.. some even glorifies it...

So my friends, if you want to move on with life, if you want to find a closure to that thorn in your flesh, FORGIVE....

Cheers.
Martin

Experience Something Great Today..

2007-09-07T01:01:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

Have you ever experience this before.... That you feel frustrated with life.. with the things around you.. with the people around you.. with the world around you...??? That nothing you ever do is ever good enough for anything? That there are so many problems in your life that waking up each day to face it, is a drag??? That you feel so UNMOTIVATED that you cannot possibly find any reasons to be happy???

Yes?

Well... the good news is.... billions of people go thru this EVERYDAY... the fact that we feel this way, is because humans' visions are very narrow... when something bad happens or when something troubles us... we withdraw ourselves up into our little shell and start to amplify the miseries that we are experiencing... the more we withdraw... the bigger the problem gets...

Guys... you've got to SNAP OUT OF IT... you've got to look beyond these problems that are bogging you down... BECAUSE... these negative de-motivators will consume you if you don't snap out of it... you will get so sucked into your miseries that you won't find any drive or energy to do anything else... and even if there are lots of things waiting for you to accomplish, you can't do it because you are too obsessed and engulfed by your miseries to focus on the global views of life... you are so into your own small self-centred world that you forgot that there's a bigger world out there with bigger and more important things waiting for you to accomplish...

Please take a look at this video below. It may be a bit long and boring at the start. But sit thru it and progressively (if you really listen to it and internalize what they are saying) you will experience a break-thru at the end of it that is really AWESOME.. It is so spirits-lifting...

Enjoy it...

Cheers.

Interesting Paradox Of Choice

2007-08-24T03:02:00.002+08:00

Hi guys,

Below are two very interesting video by two very inspirational writer-speakers (Malcom Gladwell & Barry Schwartz). They shared very conflicting, but at the same time, concurring views about the paradox of choice. The message behind these two talks is that... Humans usually assume they know what they want... but in fact, they don't... and that's why they can't handle the freedom of choice...

These two speakers are very articulate and engaging. I really enjoyed them. You should check them out here...

Besides these two videos, there are many other presentations by other speakers on www.ted.com. This is certainly one site to bookmark.

Hope you enjoyed the videos.

Cheers.

My Son's Doodle

2007-08-16T02:59:00.000+08:00

The internet has indeed made this world so much smaller. With bandwidth becoming more affordable now and with IM softwares getting better, you can be virtually catching up with loved ones from any corner of the world.

As you know, Iggi is in UK and I'm in Singapore. But we talk so often over Yahoo (voice and video) that we sometimes forget that we are thousands of miles apart. We played chess, checkers, and other Yahoo games while we talked over voice & video. This week alone, I had been online with him every day. He got to see and talk to his brother (Isaiah) and both of them had a great time.

Gone are the days where I need to spend a fortune talking to him over the phone. On Yahoo (or other IM's) its not only free but you get a lot more with videos and games. As internet bandwidth gets better and better, there can be more that we can look forward to.

I'd like to share with you this drawing that Iggi did on Yahoo Messenger's Doodle while we were chatting (video & voice) and playing checkers. I like it so much that I made an electronic print of it for keeps. It is about his dream holiday. I hope Iggi, Izzi, Carol & I may meet half-way in the Mediterranean one day to spend a vacation as describe by Iggi in his drawing.

Hope you guys like Iggi's drawing.

Cheers.

What drives me?

2007-06-12T03:11:00.000+08:00

Many people had asked me... "Hey, you're such a 'Bu Dao Weng' (the kind of rubber doll that never falls no matter how you keep punching it)... What drives you?"...

When I look back, indeed, its amazing to see what I went through in life. I had fallen so many times... but each time, I simply hung in there and made my way forward inch by inch... each time, I licked my bruises and wounds painfully... What I've endured came in many forms... physical, mental, emotional, financial, injustice, shame... you name it and I've probably been there...

So, if you ask me how did I do it? I honestly don't know. During all those tough times, there was only one thing on my mind... and that was... "it ain't so bad... it could had been worse"... and this one statement had carried me through rocks and spikes... fire and storm...

Sure, there were times where I doubted I was ever going to pull it off... but I just stayed focused and pressed on... So far, the saying of "if there's a will, there's a way"... had stood firm in my life...

Now... there's little that will ever daunt me... if I had been to the edge and back... what else could stand in my way... Life had not been exactly kind to me... but hey... it hadn't been that cruel either...

And despite all the imperfections in life that I had experienced, these same imperfections made my life perfect in so many ways... they allowed me to experience the many satisfying moments of surpassing the odds that has made my life rich and full... For me that's enough... I've learnt to count my blessings... not my misfortunes... I've learnt not look at what I've lost but what I've gained from the challenges that I've conquered... At the end of the day, it is not what I didn't have that had made me miserable but what I had that had made me happy...

Trade Mission to UK.

2007-04-30T00:41:00.001+08:00

On 22 April 2007, I left for an Aerospace Trade Mission to the UK as part of Singapore's delegation. Our company is the technological partner of the Association of Aerospace Industries, Singapore (AAIS).

This trade mission is an excellent opportunity for me to visit Iggi in UK. Though Southampton wasn't anywhere near any of the destinations of this trade mission's itinerary, I made the extra effort just to visit Iggi.

I broke away from the mission upon arriving Heathrow Airport and clearing customs (2:35pm). While the mission delegates made their way to the hotel, I made my way to Southampton. I arrived at Southampton at about 4:15pm. There, I met Iggi at his home. I brought along 31kg of stuffs in a SingPost Jumbo Box; an Ali-Baba Bag; and a hand-carried plastic bag... Of course, some of the stuffs were for Charon from her mom... but the bulk stuffs I bought for Iggi...

erm... how I managed to get them on the plane without paying for excess baggage?? Well, we checked in as a whole delegation at the airport...

Though I only had 4 hours (or so) with Iggi, we did quite a bit with it. You see, I had to catch the last "best-route" train back to London that leaves Southampton at 8:30pm. The rest of the later trains will mean that I would only arrive in London the next morning. Our delegation would have to leave London for Cardiff, Wales at 7:00am that morning. So, that was my best option.

Nonetheless, Iggi and I had a great time despite only having 4 hours or so. We took nice a walk around his town and then to the train station to secure my train ticket back to London. Along the way, we chatted, had some drinks and took some photos. Then we went to the park near his place where we played football with some other local kids there. Our father and son team wasn't too bad even though we lost 4-2 to the local blokes. After that, Iggi brought me to a restaurant called Cowherds for dinner. I had roast beef and Iggi had a cod-fish fillet with chips. The meal was good value for money. The portion was so big that we didn't have room for dessert.

And that was all we have time for. After dinner, I walked Iggi back home before catching a cab to the train station. When I gave Iggi some pocket money, he refused to accept it initially. He wanted me to keep the money for myself to have a little extra to spend in the UK. He only reluctantly accepted it after I begged and put on a pathetic look on my face that he can't bear to see. He is so sensible and I'm so proud of him.

We parted with big hugs, kisses and tears. I apologized to Iggi for not being able to spend more time with him but he consoled me by saying, "Its ok dad, this 4 hours may not be much but its enough.. I'm just happy to see you again"... My heart bled..

I left Southampton on a train with a bitter sweet memory of this visit there. Bitter because I didn't spend enough time with Iggi... Sweet because Iggi had grown to be such a fine lad...

On the other side of the world, Carol had a hard time with Isaiah... Isaiah had never been separate from me for such a lengthy period since birth. He missed me so much that he refused to eat nor sleep. He kept going to my side of the bed and yearn for my return. And when I came back yesterday, he was all over me as if he will never let me go again.

I went to bed last night feeling very contented. I have two wonderful kids that loves me so much... and erm... no, I did not forget Carol... she's a wonderful mother and wife... not perfect, but like what Iggi said, it's "wonderful enough"... there isn't anything else that I can ask for...

Tomorrow is dad's birthday... after being so blessed with the 2 kids I have, it motivated me further to render the same joy to my dad... he'll be 78 tomorrow and I hope to give him a lovely moment with his "once-prodigal" son...

Wait a minute... am I not suppose to talk about my Trade Mission in this post? Well, that can wait... besides, the photos here will be enough to give you the details of this mission... *wink*...

To view all the photos of this trip, CLICK HERE... enjoy the photos... (advance using the arrows on the top right of page recommended)...

Cheers.

The Phantom.

Describe me...

2007-04-12T00:22:00.000+08:00

Hey guys,

If you were asked to describe me in ONE WORD, what would it be (I'd be curious to know)?.... And WHY?....

You can post your reply here (by leaving a comment) or send me an email...

Cheers

The Phantom

Our Company's Annual Retreat

2007-03-26T00:58:00.000+08:00

Every year, our company closes a few days for our annual retreat.. Last year, we had it in Bangkok because we had some business dealings there..

This year, the theme of our retreat is work-life.. Our staff were encouraged to bring their families or friends to this retreat.. Our business associates were also invited to participate.. We were closed from 22 March - 25 March 2007.

The retreat was held at the Changi Cottage near Changi Village. Neatly tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the city, the Changi Cottage is a colonial sea-fronting villa with breathtaking panaromic seaview, tranquil settings and lush green landscapes. Its majestic compound (sitting on at least 30,000 sf of real estate) and well equipped abode made it an ideal escapade for the retreat. To top it all, this villa is rich in its historical chapters. LKY once stayed here when he was on the "hate-list". This was when Singapore separated from Malaysia. Not only that, this villa had housed many foreign guest diplomats and VIPs.

We kicked off the retreat with a BBQ where we invited our business associates as our corporate guests. Our boss, Wang, got his maid to prepare the meat & seafood. Our Indian colleagues made us authentic tandoori chicken & curry. Me? I made the spread on the salad bar...

There were lots of fun and games... Football, mahjong, chor dai di, etc... It was really a good break away from work...

The turnout was great. Most of our staff brought along their families and friends.. and even our fellow business associates from NetMark, Inchone, Aculearn and Bizibodi turned out in full force to join us.. We had a great time.. Take a tour of our photos by clicking on the link below... and share our joyous moments...

I've been working for this company for almost 3 years now (since Nov 2004) and I've been through a lot with it.. We had gone through very rough patches together but we managed to shoulder on. I would only attribute the astonishing progress, to four key fundamentals.

1. The outstanding leadership of the core management;
2. The commitment & dedication from our staff;
3. The excellent partnership with our business associates; AND...
4. The resounding continual trust from our customers.

We are a very small company.. but if you look at what we had achieved.. the accounts that we secure.. and the level of services that we deliver.. we are not a force to be reckoned.. I'm happy to be a part of it and I'm proud that we had taken it this far..

This retreat gave us a very clear mandate that we are on the right course and that we are heading in the right direction. It is an important milestone as it showed the solidarity and affirmation of a great company in the making..

Kudos and long live Jupiter...

Our Retreat Photos (pls CLICK HERE)
Advance using "arrow" key on the top-right of photo-page (beside the captions & descriptions) to enjoy the photos. If you have a Yahoo account, you can sign-in and post your comments on the photos.

The Phantom Returns

2007-03-03T00:38:00.000+08:00

Phew !!.... after a long struggle, I've managed to access my blog again... this process was unimaginably ridiculous... Blogger was acquired by Google and all blogs had to be migrated to the Google platform... After migration, I can't access my blog... no matter what I did, I can't access my account... I've gone thru the HELP Search umpteen times and I've followed every instruction on the HELP index (deleting cookies, changing browser settings, and you name it !!!)... but nothing worked... I've even tried writing to Blogger and Google... and all I got were automated standard replies... I was short on smashing my notebook and throwing it out of the window...

Eventually, I met another blogger and she told me that the new Blogger on Google does not work well with Internet Explorer... I switched to Mozilla Firefox and.... MAGIC... problem solved...

I just hope that the next time anyone wants to migrate my blog, they should at least have the courtesy to have necessary support ready to facilitate it...

Anyway, here I am again... The Phantom's back...

Cheers.

Iggi will be moving to Southampton...

2007-01-19T02:11:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

Iggi will be moving to Sounthampton next month. He will be going to a new school called St Mark's. To see his new place, go to http://www.google.co.uk/maps and search for SO15 2SB... you can catch a glimpse of the satellite photo of his new home...

His new place is about 100km south-west of London. So if anyone of you passing that way, please let me know... you can help courier somethings to him... There's a lot of stuff that Iggi misses from Singapore... like Chinese sausages, bak kwa, wheel crackers, etc... sending these stuff over by air is really costly... sending them by sea doesn't cost any much lesser (about half the cost) but it takes months to get there... the parcel I sent recently (5kg plus) cost me $87.00 for postage... so please be my courier if you're passing that way...

I really miss Iggi... these days, its harder trying to get to talk to him on the phone... he's growing up and comes home later from school... and being 8 hours ahead of England, it'd be midnight in Singapore when its only 4pm in England... then sometimes, Charon needs to do her groceries with him after school... so its hard trying to reach him... Well, I understand... just miss him... that's all...

Isaiah misses him too... and somehow, he seems to recognizes Iggi's voice over the phone just now... he points to Iggi's photo by our bedside and goes... "urgh"... (like... kor-kor on the phone)... and ever since Iggi introduced his favourite "wheel" snack to Isaiah, Isaiah had been bugging me to buy it each time he sees it in the supermarket...

Anyway, I'd be yearning to see Iggi... It'd be a long time before I get to see him again... miss him so much...

Yawn... so sleepy now... gotta catch a wink already...

Cheers.
Nite-Phantom No-more

Isaiah's tough...

2007-01-15T01:11:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

On Saturday night, Isaiah stepped on a piece of glass that is 1.5cm long. Of which 1.2cm went into his flesh. He yelled upon stepping on the glass but that's about it. While we pulled out the long piece of glass from his feet, he was steady. Needless to say, it bled a lot and we tried to stop the bleeding by applying pressure on the wound. And no... we did not rush to the hospital like a panic freak or a "ku-niang".. we assessed his injury and made sure that there's no broken pieces of glass in his wound.. we will monitor it for a few days to see how it goes..

The bleeding stopped after a while and we dressed the wound. Then, Isaiah started crying again. Not from the pain but because I was stopping him from getting the bandage off his feet. You see, he doesn't like to be restricted in any way. He didn't even flinch when he had his bath. I would had expected him to yell when his feet gets wet but he didn't. He was up and running the whole of Sunday (and driving his grand parents up the wall with his running around). Nobody would had guessed that he had such a deep cut on the sole of his feet.

Isaiah is a tough boy... I don't know if this is good or bad... good, because I know he won't grow up to be a "ku-niang"... bad, because his threshold for pain is so high that probably
1) no amount of canning will ever be enough to discipline him... or...
2) it'd be so hard knowing what is wrong with him until probably too late

Isaiah is also a very stubborn boy... when he sets his eyes on something, there's very little that can stop him from getting it... again, I don't know if its good or bad... good because he has great determination to succeed for all the good things... bad, because it will be hard to correct him when he goes astray...

I'm really worried for this boy... unlike Iggi, who's more sensible, emotionally stronger, self-reliant and careful in making decision, Isaiah is more wilful and impulsive... the kind that will get himself into trouble constantly... but the consolation is that Isaiah knows when he is wrong... even if he doesn't admit it... you can tell lor... like when he whacks me (yah he whacks his father ok?)... he knows how to feel guilty but just doesn't want to show it... like... he will feel concern but yet still want to act tough like he can't be bothered... I guess, I've gotta find a better way to discipline him... the hard way will not work and the soft way will only give him more to exploit...

Well, I'm also worried for Iggi... he's always looking out for others that he doesn't mind having the raw end of things... Physically, Iggi is a lot weaker but emotionally, he's more steadfast and calm in a crisis... he can deal with emotional pain a lot better than Isaiah...

Nonetheless, both my sons have grit... and I wonder where that came from... heh...

Cheers.
The Phantom.

New Year.. 2007...

2006-12-31T17:12:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

In a twinkle of an eye, a year had gone by. So what have you done in 2006 that is meaningful? If you are searching hard to find the answer, then its about time that you take a second look at your life. Do you rush into the day that snowballs to the next.. and the next... and the next... You are too busy for this... too busy for that... and before you know it, you're exhausted chasing deadlines that you can't find time for anything else? You're like a robot?

Friends, I used to be like that. In fact, I'm still like that... with the exception that I (now) know how to stop a while amidst the hustle and bustle to be a human when I need to. There's always time to stop a while. More often than not, it is our reluctance to do so more than anything else.

Don't miss the smiles of your loved ones... nor the cries for help by those in need... for these are the things that make us HUMAN...

Here's how I did it...

1) Live up to your expectations and not that of others... Many of us try so hard to impress our bosses, our peers, our relatives... Isn't it a lot easier trying to please yourself or manage your own expectations? No? Sure, we may not blessed with bountiful means, but if we can live within our means and be happy about it, isn't it a lot more rewarding and fulfilling?

2) Focus on what you have and not what you don't have... Many of us feel short-changed over the set-backs, misfortunes, miseries, etc. that befalls upon them. They spend half their lives focusing on these drawbacks that they forgot about the blessings that they have. They struggle so hard to try to attain what they don't have while it is so much easier finding what to do with what they already have. Believe me, if you really focus on finding what to do with what you ALREADY have, you won't time to worry about what you don't have.

3) Discover the joy in giving and sharing... Many of us will find that they already don't have enough for themselves, so what's there left to share? Well, that's because, NOTHING is ever going to be ENOUGH... and they're only looking at tangible things to give or share... For example, you will never run out of smiles to share... kisses to give... kindness to shower... These may be small things that is almost nothing to you but will mean so much to those in need. I know... because I had been in need before... and I know what it felt to be relieved with such acts of kindness... be it a smile or a mere helping hand to hold the door for you... it may be nothing to you, but for those in need (e.g. a person in a wheelchair, for example), that simple act of kindness is like a grace from heaven...

4) Learn to forgive... notice I use the word "LEARN"... that's because it is not easy to forgive... especially, when you've been hurt and subject to a lot of hardships (be it physical, emotional, pyschological, financial, whatever)... but then... how long you want to carry your hatred, resentment, anguish, etc.??? Come on, does seeing the person suffer (the one who inflicted those pain) ease your pain? Honestly, does it?

5) Leave your unwanted baggages behind... as we progress with life, we bring along many unwanted baggages... the more we bring along, the harder it is for us to get ahead... if your ship is about to sink in the middle of the ocean, will you load yourself with all your gold and silver? Or will you grab whatever you need to stay alive? We just need to know when to let go... what to let go... and how to let go...

6) And even if there is nothing else, there's always HOPE... because, "hopes" keep us alive... no matter how remote they may seem... we just have to keep moving on... just have to keep digging... for we won't know how far we are from the end of the tunnel... imagine what it'd be like giving up, when your next thrust of your shovel could well be the "break-thru"... don't give up on HOPE...

Now, I don't have as much as what I had before... but I'm sure a lot happier than what I used to be... Go on... make these your new year resolutions today and we'd meet this time next year to see where we are...

Have a wonderful 2007.

Love,
The Phantom
EDiToR, KPNN
Kay Poh News Network

Iggi's Departure

2006-10-16T04:00:00.000+08:00

Well, time sure flies when you're not watching it. Iggi left for UK already. He brought with him a very big part of me. As much as I know that I should not feel sad and I should try not to miss him too much, but I can't fight the reality that I do. So, I did what I usually do when I feel down. I start counting my blessings rather than my miseries.

The 3 weeks that I had with Iggi was wonderful. He has grown so much and he's more sensible than ever. He's got great grades at school (he proudly showed me his report card). The 2 brothers got on very well despite being from different mothers. I'm really glad that Iggi felt the warmth of our humble home.

We spent a lot of time talking and though we didn't have much money to really go out for fun and buy stuffs, we spent each and every day we had together enjoying our relationship. There were a lot of things that we learnt from each other. I imparted some values to him and he taught me the innocence of a child once again. Kids are so easily contented. They have little expectations. And that is what that makes them ever so cheerful.

The bonding between Iggi and me is still so strong despite being separated from him for so long. In fact, we felt that our bonding grew stronger. Guess the saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true indeed.

Izzi had a great time too. This is the first time he met his elder brother and the two of them click just like that. Izzi adores Iggi. Though Izzi can't speak yet, the way he expresses his love for Iggi is so amazing. He would hold Iggi's hand, touch Iggi's face, kiss Iggi and follows Iggi wherever Iggi went. When Izzi wakes up and find Iggi missing from the bed, he would go hunt for Iggi.

Iggi on the other hand, showers a lot of love for Izzi too. He's protective and he shares whatever he has with Izzi. It's so nice to see Iggi putting Izzi first in all he does. Simply wonderful.

We've taken quite a bit of photos and I've posted them on my photo album here.

On the night that Iggi left, I was not allowed to see him off. Iggi was hurt but he just kept that smile on his face so that we wouldn't feel the impact of our grief. He said, "it's ok dad, at least we had a few good weeks together.. I'd be back next year... if not, the year after"... My heart crushed...

After Iggi left, Izzi misses him dearly. Izzi now wakes up to an empty bed beside him wondering where his brother, whom he spent 3 beautiful weeks with, had gone. Izzi would pull me to where Iggi had slept and sort of question me with that sad look on his face, "where is my brother". I just told him that kor-kor will be back next year.. if not the year after.

While the agony of missing Iggi is still raw within me, I know that I'd just have to move on. I just have to keep re-living those beautiful 3 weeks that we had, to ease the pain of missing Iggi. That's what I mean by counting my blessings rather than my miseries.

Looking at Izzi, its a consolation... he is not a substitute but he is a reminder that we're still blessed despite whatever grief we are experiencing. I just hope Iggi won't be too hard on himself back in UK. I've taught him how to stay optimistic and happy and I sure hope, he'd be a fighter... like his old man...

The Phantom

Iggi's Home-Coming...

2006-09-24T17:06:00.000+08:00

Yes.. Finally, Iggi will be coming back to Singapore today and I will be able to spend 2 weeks or so with him..

As I was cleaning up the house and getting his room ready for him.. all the pain of losing Iggi's custody fight came flashing vividly through my mind.. Though the wound may seem to have healed, somehow the pain was still there.. I guess it is not easy getting over a loss of someone so dear in our hearts..

You may say, "Come on".. but it is really not easy dealing with the hurt no matter how hard you try to move on.. Its been 3 yrs and the pain is still as sore as if it was just yesterday.. That's when I know what those people meant at the 9-11 memorial that "the pain will be forever"..

I quickly dry my teary eyes and try to put those hurtful thoughts away.. I told myself, "hey, let's look at how we can make this coming 2 weeks, the best times of our lives for Iggi & me".. I started planning what we're gonna do, what we're gonna eat, who we're gonna visit.. I put on some upbeat R&B to perk me up a little.. And soon, those sorrowful moments just seem to fade a little.. like magic..

You see.. that's what a positive mind can do.. I feel so much better now.. No one and nothing can change the painful past.. it will never go away and those solemn moments will always come back to haunt us from time to time.. no matter how many times you find closures for them.. no matter how many times you managed to put them away.. And when it does come back (as it did earlier).. it is how we deal with it that really matters.. you can choose to willow in self pity and feel down or.. snap out of it quickly by focusing on things that will shape the future or the happiness of the ones you love instead..

Imagine this.. if I had continue to feel sorry and angry, will it not affect the quality of the times that I'm gonna spend with Iggi for the next 2 weeks? I've made that wise choice of focusing on how to make the next 2 weeks the best times of my life instead and I'm really looking forward to it...

So now.. as I lay the new sheets for Iggi's bed, the sweet thought of my boy lying there.. appreciating those crisp, clean sheets sure beats those ugly thoughts of those painful moments of losing the custody of my boy..

Sure.. I'm certain that those painful moments will come back to haunt me again one day.. but I know how to deal with it now.. I can't tell you what a nice feeling that it is to be able to open up a book of sorrows and close it with a smile to move on..

The Phantom
Kay Poh News Network

Phantom's Car Crash...

2006-09-08T04:18:00.000+08:00

The Phantom has a terrible car accident today. He was heading home in his Nissan March along Simei Avenue after catching the John Little Sale at Singapore Expo with Carol, Isaiah and Carol's pregnant sister. Then, this stupid fool in his MPV in the opposite traffic flow decides to turn right at the traffic light junction. The MPV driver served his stupid car right into the path of the Phantom's Nissan March. The Phantom didn't even have time to hit the brakes as the traffic lights on the Phantom's flow was GREEN and who would expect this fool to negotiate a turn in such a reckless manner?

BANG !!!! The Phantom's Nissan March was crushed against the MPV. Carol's immediate maternal instinct was to protect junior. She curled up around Isaiah and became his human air-bag. She was thrown forward and guess what? She crushed right into the passenger seat in front of her ripping it from its harness (guess she wasn't that light afterall)... and thank goodness no one was seated at the front passenger seat... Her sister who's 26 weeks pregnant seated behind the Phantom had the driver's seat to cushion part of the impact.. As for the Phantom, he was the least fortunate of all... he was like a pin-ball being thrown back and forth against the steering wheel and back until the impact worn down...

Isaiah was ok... other than the shock he had and the cut on his lips, he's ok... Carol suffered bruises on her limbs, her butt, her back and had several contusions on her neck and shoulder... her sister's leg was like a pig's trotter and she had contractions almost immediately... the Phantom?... he's stuck in the driver's seat and it took the Civil Defence Squad almost 45 minutes to get him out...

Carol's sister was rushed to KK hospital where she had to be treated in an emergency to stablize the foetus that was barely ready to be delivered... was indeed a close shave... She was later hospitalized for observations...

Carol was treated as an outpatient and was discharged that very night...

The Phantom had to camp into Changi General Hospital for the next few days... He suffered injuries to his abdomen, chest, neck and shoulders.

At the point of impact, Carol swore that she hear the sounding of the horn that alerted her to curl up into a position ready for the crash... but none others heard the horn... It must be Isaiah's Guardian Angel... Nothing could had stopped the crash... but at least, Carol was alerted to take precautions to become Isaiah's human air-bag...

After all these and looking back at the condition and state of the car that it was in, it is indeed a miracle that all of them survived the crash with just superficial injuries... so... don't say that God doesn't exist...

KPNN (Kay Poh News Network)

Ignatius Turns NINE..

2006-09-02T03:39:00.000+08:00

Geez... time flies... Iggi is nine years old today... called him but he's rushing out...

Iggi is coming back on the 24 of this month and we will be having a belated birthday party for him...

I'm sure he will have a good time...

Will update soon...

Happy Birthday Iggi... Dad Loves YOU...

Isaiah is ONE...

2006-08-02T19:13:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone,

I'd like to thank all of you for taking time off your busy schedules to be at Isaiah's first birthday. Thank you as well for those beautiful gifts and ang pows. And also, thank you for helping with the food prepared (else, I wouldn't know what to do with any left-overs).

Ai-Lee & MK... thanks for dropping by a day before the party... its so nice and thoughtful of you and your parents to make such efforts to celebrate Isaiah's birthday despite not being able to be here on the actual day of tthe party... thanks for the ang pow... THANKS...

Ting & Jacky... thanks for coming despite having to rush off for your other engagements... sorry that u could not stay till the end... but still your presence is heartfelt... at least you came despite having other engagements... THANKS...

Agnes & David... thanks for coming... we're so out-of-the way and your presence is deeply appreciated... thanks for your gift as well... Isaiah looks good in it... it a little too big but no worries... he'd fit into it in no time... THANKS... [PS... if you wanna send David over for how-to-be-daddy-boot-camp, u're always welcome... heheh...]

Antz, Jacq & Jill.... thanks for the car seat... its been something that we wanted badly but we simply couldn't afford... its a very thoughtful gift... Thanks... And Jill... u're such a darling... the Tiramisu was great... we love it.. while eating it, I could feel the fillings of love, care, friendship, etc... so nice... really appreciate it... *HUGS*....

God-pa & God-ma... thanks for dropping by as well... thanks for your gifts as well... erm... God-Ma... sorry for the rude gesture of Isaiah reaching for your erm... he's too used to breastfeeding... THANKS...

Ben & Jess... thanks for picking Mom & Dad to our place... the party would not had been complete without Isaiah's uncle,aunt, cousin & gand parents... thank for your gifts as well... THANKS...

Jenny & BH... thanks for your gifts... Isaiah will have so much fun with it... THANKS...

And for all those who missed the party, WE DIDN'T MISS U... but thanks for your gifts and ang pows anyway... (HEHEH... just joking)... its thoughtful of u guys... sad that u couldn't make it though... it would had been more fun with you around...

We had a great time and it would not had been possible without all of you... Thanks for being such wonderful guests... the photos are uploaded... and you can click on my photo gallery (Album No. 3a) in here to view it or print it...

Love,

The Phantom Clan

When life is peace & calm.

2006-07-09T15:21:00.000+08:00

Hi friends,

Its been a long while since I last made a posting. So here's a little update from me.

I've been well and I've been busy with work as usual. But I've found that I've got to strike a balance between work and my other things in life.. like family, friends, fun and even a little private time to do things that I really love to.

Work isn't everything. It is when you find time for the other things in life that you find the real meaning in life. I used to think that if I don't get work done fast, good and all, my customers or my boss won't be happy. But the truth is, they will never be happy no matter how much you do for them. Same goes for family & friends.. you can never please them enough.. no matter how hard you try.. The things is... we must know where to draw the line... we can do a little more at times but we really must know when to say "its enough"...

Now, I take life a lot easier.. I live the life that I want.. enough of living life according to other people's expectations.. Its about time that I live my life the way I like it..

Well, its not that I've changed to become a selfish or self-centered person.. I'm still that nice bloke that everyone can depend upon and enjoys being with.. but I won't let myself to be used by friends or relatives who only care about themselves..

Frankly, I'm quite disappointed by how some people take me for granted.. I used to go all out of my way to help relatives, friends, colleagues and even my ex-bosses.. At the end of the day, do they appreciate it? Well, I don't think so. I'm probably just a passing cloud.. someone that they can conveniently make use of without me asking for anything in return..

I've learnt that I don't have to go all out of my way to please the ones I love to make them happy. By doing so, it will only make them take me for granted. I'd just do whatever that it is within my means and if they appreciate it, fine.. if they don't know how to appreciate, so be it.. it is their loss.. not mine..

All I want to do for the rest of my life.. is to take life easy.. find time to appreciate every moment of it...

The Phantom

PS:
BTW... I will be throwing a birthday party for Izzi on 30 July. Do drop by at our new habitat.

PPS:
Iggi will be coming back end September and I will be throwing a belated birthday party for him as well when I get more details on his stay here.

I am FIRE

2006-06-25T00:50:00.000+08:00

I am FIRE:

Your element is Fire: Strong, hot tempered, powerful, and passionate. Well now lets see, being fire you are quite strong and powerful be it mentally, physically or both. People look up to you greatly and often seek your protection. You have the ability to gain many friends and you are always one people can count on to do what you say you will do. You are extremely loyal, be it friends or family you'll stick up for them and you are never willing to put them in a position that could hurt them. You know what roll you play in life, leader, and you intend to let people know it. Not everyone is capable of leadership but you certainly have the willpower and flare to do it. You have quite a temper if it shows itself, one that can often lead you into trouble. Once your mind is made up there is no changing it but no one said that was a bad thing.

What is yours?
Check it out here
brought to you by Quizilla

My two sons...

2006-04-26T18:15:00.000+08:00

I just got news that Iggi will be coming back on 24 Sept 2006. I'm contributing an additional $100 every month towards his airfare back. This is over and above the $200 I send him each month.

I am now calling Iggi weekly as his calls to me had been less frequent. I guess he's running a little short on his pocket money. So, I call him instead. We talked about how he intends to spend his vacation back here and I'd be likely taking some time off work to spend some time with him while he's here.

As for Isaiah, he's progressing fine as well. He's almost 9 months old now and he weighs 9kg over. He could now stand with support and he has 4 teeth (2 upper & 2 lower). He has started solid food. And he's very adorable when he's not cranky.

Work has been busy. However, I still find time for my weekly soccer games. I'm amazed that at my age, I can still out-run a lot of the younger guys. Guess my fitness is still there.

Well, so much for me now. Update more another time.

Cheers

Phantom's New Habitat...

2006-01-12T09:34:00.000+08:00

Yes, finally... the Phantom has moved into his new place on New Year's Eve. They took advantage of the extended holidays to move. Well, the moving is done... and the unpacking is gonna take a while. But they will try to get the place up by Chinese New Year... The reason why they're moving out in such a rush was because Carol's sister was getting married (8 Jan 2006) and she would need that room space that we were occupying... and since their new place was almost ready, why not? Afterall, it'd be nearer for the Phantom to get to work...

There are still quite a bit to do to the Phantom's new habitat. Restricted by his finances, they can only "build" their home bit by bit. The core necessities are already there its just the other comforts that they will need to slowly put in. Most of which would be DIY. Even the curtains are DIY and hand-sewn somemore. I guess, when two persons put their hands together to build a home, it's so much warmer.

Though the skies are brightening up for the Phantom, but his immediate livelihood is still something to pull through. There are a lot of things needed for a new home. With a baby, CNY around the corner and day-to-day expenses, it is quite a challenge making ends meet. Nonetheless, there will always be things to look forward to. Its how we see things.

The Phantom is indeed happy. The worst is over and even if skies are still grey, at least they're not pitch black... hehehe...
(KPNN-Gossips)

The Phantom Mourns...

2005-12-20T23:47:00.000+08:00

Today, the Phantom mourns over the demise of his Godfather, Uncle Paul (the eldest brother of his mom) and his Aunt Maria (his Uncle Paul's wife). And no, they did not pass away in an accident.. they passed on with ripe old age.. just 2 days apart (yes, they were the ones featured in Sunday Times on 18 Dec 2005).

Uncle Paul was a faithful servant of the Lord. He spent his entire life serving the Church without any complains, without any gains nor expectations. Even while limping on his walking stick, he remains dedicated to the serving of the Church and its community.

He was a simple man... an ordinary man with flaws... but I admire him in many ways... I admire how he loved Aunt Maria... how he single-handed raised his eleven children and raised them well... I admire how he always stands up, faced his flaws and strive to overcome his flaws to become a better man which he suceeded... I admire how he believed in himself despite how small the people around him made him feel...

Uncle Paul is the kind of man that will never show his acts of graciousness or nobleness in public.. he does not seek recognition.. as such, he's often misjudged, misunderstood and neglected... but whenever he's needed, he's always the first to stand in line... he's always taking the back seat but in actual fact, he's the one bearing all the load... yet, he didn't complain... he's just happy to know that his loved ones are happy, provided for, etc... The sacrifices that he had made, often goes un-noticed... often uncredited... but he continues to give... holding nothing back...

Uncle Paul is a selfless person that gives and gives... he became a living example to many of us (if this statement seems over-rated, well, he is an example to me, at least)... his values, his deeds of kindness and his selflessness is what I admire most about him...

Today, at his funeral, I'm glad that he can finally rise above the crowd and be honoured for what he deserves... the sheer numbers of people showing up to pay their last respects were a living testament of what a great man he is... 12 Priests honoured him in a High Mass... a wholesome choir sang hymns... hundreds of people, whose lives he had touched, showed up to mourn for him... even the cleaner wept sorrowfully over the loss of Uncle Paul...

I am very proud of him... I share the times where he was so lonely... when the whole world (including his closest kins) doubted this man behind all the greatness that he holds in his heart... he never forsake THAT greatness despite everything...

As I walked up his coffin with my mom to lay my mourning arm-tag with the flowers, I feel pround to have a god-pa like Uncle Paul... He may not be a perfect man... but he's definitely a GOOD MAN...

The song and lyrics below, is specially dedicated to my God-Pa, Uncle Paul. To hear the music, pls refresh page CLICK HERE and you may sing along.

Wind Beneath My Wings...

It must have been cold there in my shadow
To never have sunlight on your face
You were content to let me shine, that's your way
You always walked a step behind

So I was the one with all the glory
While you were the one with all the strain
A beautiful face without a name for so long
A beautiful smile to hide the pain

Did you ever know that you're my hero
And everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings

It might have appeared to go unnoticed
But I've got it all here in my heart
I want you to know I know the truth
Of course I know it
I would be nothing without you

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be
I could fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings
'Cause you are the wind beneath my wings

A ray of hope flickers...

2005-12-09T23:55:00.000+08:00

Today, the Phantom got an email from his Official Assignee.. It had been more than 3 yrs since he had been declared a bankrupt... and today, his Official Assignee has finally processed her recommendation for him to be discharged from bankruptcy by way of "Discharge by Certificate of the Official Assignee"... This process will take between 3 to 6 months...

I can't tell you how overwhelmed the Phantom was... so overwhelmed that his tears just fell like rain... I guess, nobody could understand what it is like to be able to see light at the end of the tunnel...

Having been through hell for the past few years, this is indeed the best Christmas gift the Phantom ever got... All I can say is, there's always hope if you believe in it... It was with grit and perserverance that the Phantom held on to that thin line of hope for all these years... never letting go... never losing sight of hope...

True, the Phantom still won't be able to regain the past glories that he once had... but at least, he had bottom out... It will be a long road ahead... but at least he is moving forward... slowly but surely, the Phantom will strive on... taking on small accomplishments a step at a time... making small progresses a little by little... it's with these small advancements that will lead the Phantom to greater heights...

And even if the Phantom couldn't climb to the altitude where he used to dwell eventually, he'd still be happy that he made it to however far his legs took him...

I'm still proud of the Phantom nonetheless... I am proud that the Phantom had been able to take ownership of his set-backs and face it... I'm proud that despite the raging storms that he weathered, he had never lost faith in himself and the things that he believed in... I am proud that he never gave up despite all the odds that were against him... and I'm sure everyone of you here will be as well...

Of course, the Phantom wouldn't had made it this far if not for you guys nudging him on whenever he stopped... lending him a hand each time he fall... believing in him when he had doubts... The Phantom says "THANKS"... he said he wouldn't had made it if not for the love that you guys showered upon him... he's still one lucky bastard despite all the misfortunes that he went thru... The phantom said, "I'm so lucky to have pals and loved ones like you guys... that's truly a blessing... Love you all... and Merry Christmas..."

The Phantom
aka The "Bu Dao Ong"...
aka The "Never Say Die"...
(KPNN-Gossips)

Interesting Facts - Dead People's Money...

2005-12-01T12:49:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

There is a very interesting report I read from a magazine at a client's place while waiting for my client. This report claims that there are more than 8.9 billion UNCLAIMED LIFE INSURANCE POLICIES in the United States.... some of the beneficiaries are dead by now as well... Hmm... So, why bother to buy insurance then? Your loved ones may not even get the money... I mean, those insurance companies won't even bother to check if their policy holders or their beneficiaries are still alive... Why would they? No people claim? Better for them. Besides, there are so many policy holders... how to monitor if this one is dead or not? No wonder Insurance Companies are so rich... Let's just assume that every policy is just $10,000.. so 8.9 billion of unclaimed policies works out to be.... heheheh... I trust that the figures can be quite alarming...

Many people buy insurance policies for their loved ones... but how can we ensure that our loved ones get the money when we die? One way is to make a will but what if we don't have a will? What if the loved ones do not even know that they are beneficiaries? Or worse, our so-called loved ones don't even know that we are dead !!!

Face it dudes... you may have inheirited a fortune from some distant relatives whom may have died intestate and his/her estate is still lying around somewhere... UNTOUCHED... and the best part is... YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT...

Thus, if you go claim it now, you'd probably get the entire fortune by yourself because, there will probably be no one contesting it... either... no one else alive to contest it (especially if their beneficiaries died before them) or no one remembers that dead person ever existed... Sad isn't it?

Well, I've made my will... and I've told my loved ones about where to get my money when I die... Have you made yours? REMEMBER to tell your loved ones how to get it after you die and update your will when necessary (when beneficiaries dies)... otherwise, your estate (all your money, insurance, etc) will remain unclaimed till God knows when...

I've added a link below on how you can claim for the property of the dead for your reading pleasure... quite informative... I'm sure you would find it useful...
http://www.subcourts.gov.sg/Civil/process_probate.htm#1

OK... Now, I've got to go search my family roots to see if I've got any rich great-grand uncles or aunties or any other distant relatives that died without a will... I may be an overnight rich man... hahahahaha....
(KPNN-Gossips)

Music On KPNN...

2005-11-30T20:01:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... seems like the people here like the music I featured on this blog.. There had been emails requesting a list...

OK, there haven't been a lot of music featured here.. These are all that I remembered.. If there are any that I missed, let me know..

1) Seagull
2) Wildfire
3) Stand By You
4) Desperado
5) The Last Song

I'll post the lyrics here soon...

(KPNN-Music)

Seagulls...

2005-11-29T19:43:00.002+08:00

It X'mas once again... And as with every X'mas, its always a good time to reflect upon our lives and take stock of what we've done throughout the year...

This year had been a much better year for me... things are slowly falling back into place... Charon (my ex-wife) is finally on talking terms with me... Iggi is coping well in the UK... I've got a nice boss... great colleagues... my job's busy but satisfying... a bunch of supportive friends... my newly arrived Isaiah... my new flat... and not forgetting, a new wife (hee hee)... well, what more can I ask for??

But prior to that, life hadn't been kind at all... the things that I went thru was hell... looking back, its a miracle that I pulled thru... hanging on that thin line, I was like a sampan in a tsunami... left with just grit and a will to hang on, I licked my wounds in pain and picked up all the broken pieces of my life together a little by little... having lost everything (and I mean EVERYTHING)... starting over was not easy at all... imagine having failed in my business... being declared a bankrupt losing my house and all that I had... my previous marriage was in total wreckage.. I lost the custody of iggi, my beloved son... having lost my job... did time... GEEZ... its really scarry.. I'm just glad that everything is history now...

Its not that I want to hang on to the past, but those trying times were indeed very important milestones in my life... I hang on to it not to hold onto the anger and pain... but to hold onto the lessons I've learnt from there... I'm telling you guys that what I went thru, really made me appreciate the simpler things in life that most of us would take for granted... Happiness is indeed what we make of it... Life will still be tough... money will never be enough... many things that we dream about will probably never become a reality... BUT SO WHAT??? I'm telling you that as long as you are still hanging on... as long as you survive the storm... that's all it takes to start all over...

There is a chinese song that I used to sing to when I was in the forces that is really meaningful... I was humming it to Isaiah when I was putting him to bed that night and suddenly I found myself choking back on my tears... Below are the lyrics and for those bananas (like me) that understand very little chinese, there's the english translations in brackets... to listen to the song CLICK below...

Meanwhile... hey... it's X'mas... let's fill this season with love and warmth... and let's not forget those that are less fortunate in our prayers and celebrations for X'mas...

http://sg.geocities.com/mykpnn/Sound/seagull.asf

Title: 海鷗 (Seagulls)

海鷗飛在藍藍海上
(Seagulls flying above the blue seas)
不怕狂風巨浪
(Braving the raging winds and tidal waves)
揮著翅膀看著遠方
(Spreading its wings, looking beyond)
不會迷失方向
(Never drifting from its course)

飛得越高看得越遠
(Flying higher, looking further)
它在找尋理想
(It is seeking its destiny)
我願像海鷗一樣
(I wish to be like the seagulls)
那麼勇敢堅強
(and to be that brave and that strong)

Izzi, Phantom Junior II

2005-11-15T07:53:00.000+08:00

Hi Everyone,

My name is Isaiah Ives Goh Jun Yang but you can call me Izzi for short (pronounced I-Zee and not E-Zee)... Like my elder brother, Ignatius Isaac Goh Kun Jin (Iggi, Phantom Junior), I also have a very long name. And also like Iggi Kor-Kor, I'm a born Catholic.. I was baptized on 6 Nov 2005..

Well, I'm just over 3 months old and there's nothing much about me to share other than I'm a sucker for breasts (literally).. Since my "mua-guek", I've not tasted formula milk.. good for daddy... save money... and good for me too, see how strong I am?..

I just wanna say that I love all of you... especially daddy, mommy and Iggi Kor-Kor... You can see my photos on KPNN's Photo Gallery here...

Love,
Izzi, Phantom Junior II
KPNN (Kay Poh News Network)

Happy Birthday, Iggi...

2005-09-02T23:36:00.000+08:00

Today, Iggi turns 8 yrs old... I just want the world to know that Iggi will always be dear to my heart. Never mind if he's thousands of miles away and that he's not always by my side. His place in my heart can never be replaced.

Many people had asked me this question... "Now that I've got Isaiah, how can I divide my love equally?"... Perhaps, one day, Iggi or Isaiah will ask me this question too.. My answer is one that is simple. I don't divide my love.. I multiply my love... So regardless how many more children I have hereafter, I won't be loving any one of them less.. That's the power of love..

Here, on Iggi's 8th birthday, I would also like to pay tribute to Charon. Don't give me that look on your faces. Yes, we had some issues in the past and we both had already paid dearly for them. Everyone here knows what I've been put thru for the past 4 years.. but I would not want anyone here to assume that Charon had it any easier than me. It was tough for her too.

We have both sort of eventually agreed to do whatever that will be in best interest for Iggi. We may now be divorced, but we both still have that role to play as Iggi's parents. We have no right to deny Iggi of either of his parent's love. Iggi has the right to be loved by BOTH, his daddy AND his mommy.

Iggi is growing up. Not just physically & academically, but emotionally, psychologically, socially, etc as well. He needs to be loved by both his daddy & mommy. He needs to be heard. He is beginning to form his own beliefs and character based on his individualism. And while he is going thru this very delicate phase of his life, it is very important for us (as his parents) to guide him on the right path.

Charon is doing all that she can and I know it is hard for her enforcing discipline on Iggi. She must be able to do that without being held at ransom of losing custody of Iggi. I have given her my word that I will back her and she has given me her word that Iggi's welfare will always be her paramount concern.

As for Iggi, I will always be there to hear his grievances and ensure that he is heard with fairness. I hope to impart some strong values in him that will mould him to be someone that he can be proud of. It won't be easy though. Limited by geographical barriers and the high costs of overseas calls, I do all I can to perform my fatherly duties. I enjoy each and every conversation with him. Especially, when he relates what he's going thru. To be able to have him open up to me never fails to make my day. Despite our long distance relationship, Iggi's progress is commendable. There's still lots of room for improvement but I'm confident he will do fine. He just have to put more work to it.

And as I lay my head on pillow after updating this page of my life, I pray to God to watch over Iggi with my favourite serenity prayer.. "Dear God, please help grant Iggi the serenity, to accept the things he can't change.. the courage and strength to change the things he can.. and most importantly, the wisdom to know the difference.. Please also show him the way to embrace love and forgiveness in his daily life"....

Iggi, daddy loves you and daddy misses you very much.

Hugs & Kisses,

Love,
Daddy

Iggi has a baby brother...

2005-08-02T23:49:00.000+08:00

Isaiah has arrived. Carol was butchered (Caesarian) and out he came... one month pre-mature...
Below are Isaiah's birth data (for all those who wish to buy 4-D):-

Date of Birth:
2 August 2005 (Iggi is 2 September 1997.. exactly 7yrs 11 months difference)

Weight:
2.54 kg (pretty big for a pre-matured baby)

Isaiah looked so much like Iggi.. ma-cham photo-copy... Will post their photos up on KPNN's Official Website.. then you guys be the judge...

Isaiah seems healthy though doctors are doing some blood tests to see if Carol's thyroid and heart problem were inheirited or affected him. He is doing well, otherwise.

Carol had a hard delivery. She was in the surgery room for a quite a few hours. She went in about 9.30pm and didn't come out till about 4am (though Isaiah was out pretty quick at 11:14pm). I guess complications came from her heart. She was in intensive care after the surgery and is recuperating now in a normal ward. She will be there for a quite while more. Other than the high blood pressure, her immobility and pain from the sugical wound, she is ok. For those who wanna visit her and take a peek at little Isaiah, you may go to the Singapore General Hospital, Blk 5, Level 3, Ward 53, Room 22.

Iggi called on Monday but he missed the good news. Iggi is having his summer holidays in UK now. His school results were quite good and I'm really proud of him. Click here to see his results [links will be uploaded soon.. didn't have time to scan the report card yet]... I've sent him an extra $100 this month so that he can go for some movies during his summer holidays.

Next month is Iggi's birthday (2 Sept). I asked him what he wants and he initially wanted a bicycle. Then, he must have figured that it would be hard for me to send it over and it would cost a bomb as well. So he said he'd tell me later (see, he's so sensible... right?).. I then told him that instead of buying what he wants and waste the postage sending it over, I would rather save the postage wire him more money instead so that he will have more money to buy whatever he wants. I will sending him $200 on top of his usual allowance when I get my pay-cheque at the end of the month. This month too taxed for me to squeeze out anything else already.

Though its sad that Iggi's not here to share the joy of Isaiah's coming, I'm sure Isaiah will "feel" his presence. We've also talked about the new flat and Iggi wants me to keep his room bare at the moment. He wants to choose the furniture and even the colour of his room when he comes back in December for his X'mas holidays. Well, Iggi will always have his place here with us even when he is so far away.

My new flat is undergoing renovation right now and I hope that it can be completed by end August (Antz.. *wink*). Having lots of budget constraints (very big-time constraints)... So my new place will probably have a VERY VERY minimalistic feel. So far, I've only gotten the flooring, lightings, plumbling, some kitchen appliances settled. Alderene has agreed to help with the kitchen cabinets and perhaps, the master bedroom wardrobes (see how the costing & financing comes along first). Carol managed to coax her sister to sponsor the Air-Conditioning for the whole flat. She got quite a good deal. 4xSingle Split (Fujiaire) and 1xVertical Window Unit (Carrier) for only $2,680 nett (inclusive of full installation & GST). The bulk of the furnishings, furniture and appliances is still a financial headache. Any sponsors? hehehe...

After that, I will send an invite to all of you for my house-warming cum "muah-guek" (Isaiah's full month). I will then whip up a feast for you guys. Yes, I know its been a long long time since you guys last savoured my culinary skills. So, be patient ok? Be patient....

Well, so much for the update from me. Before I sign off, I'd leave you guys with my usual words of wisdom.... "Life should be qualitative, not quantitative... I may not have much now (in terms of material & financial), but at least I still have my parents with me (still have time to do my filial piety duties)... I've very supportive siblings... a loving wife... two beautiful sons... a caring boss... wonderful colleagues (past and present) and a bunch of die-hard pals like ALL of you... So... what else can I ask for? Be contented... and life will be pleasant... take your time to enjoy all the beautiful things that God has created for us... and cherish every moment with your loved ones while you can... Love unconditionally and forgive generously... Soon you'll realise that life isn't that bad afterall....
(KPNN-Gossips)

Phantom's Still Standing...

2005-06-24T19:16:00.000+08:00

Looking back on how time flies, this site has been around for quite a while. It captured quite a fair bit of what I went thru for the past few years. Though not all are pink and rosy (in fact, it had been rather turbulent), I’ve learnt a lot. I’ve found the courage to acknowledge my own shortcomings. I’ve learn to forgive and I’ve learnt to keep my head up when everything around is bleak.

I’ve found that it is important that I take stock on what I’ve done over the past few years. To learn from the set-backs I’ve had and to credit myself for the things that I’ve done well. Life seems to have a whole new meaning to me now. Having been to the edge and back, I’ve seen a lot to appreciate the things I have now, better.

I’ve reconcile with dad, got a new job which is very fulfilling, got married & Carol is expecting, my new flat is arriving soon (yeah, we went for the recent Walk-In Selection from HDB and got a flat) and most of all, to know that Iggi is still so close to me despite being so far away.

Now… as I look around me and I see people grumbling at their dissatisfactions with their lives, I have only one advice for them… “count your blessings, not your misfortunes”… Really… its the blessings we have only matters and not our misfortunes, you’d find life great… And if you think that its easier said than done, look at me… look at all that I’ve been thru… I’m still standing. We can lose everything in this world, but just don’t lose ourselves…
(KPNN-Gossips)

The Art Of Listening...

2005-05-11T08:33:00.000+08:00

Very often, we hear... but seldom do we listen... We are often quick to “jump the gun” to assume the ending before the story actually ends. And we seriously look at everything that revolves around us, we find that conflicts are often caused by bad communication. If only we take a step back to try listening, many conflicts can be avoided. So if you are experiencing a hard time with your parents, your spouse, your children, your best friends, your boss, your colleagues, your clients, or whoever... try listening...

Below, is an article that I've picked up many years ago that I've valued a lot and now, sharing it with you (erm... sorry... forgot who's the writer). The advice is nothing new, but we often do not make a conscious effort to apply these...

The Art of Listening
The ability and need to communicate touches every area of our lives. Everything we do in life requires communication with others. Just try to not communicate at work for a day or in your business transactions and see what happens. Refuse to communicate in your personal relationships and see what kind of interesting results you'll create.

Much of communication theory focuses on how to speak to others and how to convey your message. But, communication is really a two-way process. It is a continuous activity, not a one-time event. The listener's role is as central to the communication process as the speaker's role. Real communication and connection occur when the speaker AND listener participate in the process.

Since listening is as important as speaking in the communication process, if you wanted to improve your listening skills, where would you begin? Here are a few ideas and suggestions you can use:

Exercise active listening skills.
Try asking more questions. If you need clarification ask the speaker to say more, give an example or to explain further. Give feedback or paraphrase what you've heard: "Are you saying such and such? What I heard you say is this. Is this what you meant?" Try nodding your head to show interest. Or ask a question of interest to demonstrate that you are really listening to what is being said. Add the occasional "uh-huh". Try making eye contact with the speaker. Even though you are sitting and listening quietly, this may not be enough for the speaker to feel that s/he is truly being understood.

Become aware of your personal filters and triggers.
Each of us is a product of our upbringing, culture, life experiences and anything and everything that makes us unique as human beings. Our uniqueness can sometimes be an obstacle to being an effective listener. As you listen, try to remain open to what you are hearing and withhold evaluation or judgment. Become aware of what your triggers are in the communication process and what shuts your listening down.

Observe your own and other people's listening habits.
Ask yourself what it feels like when someone really listens to you and when they don't. Make a list of any behaviors that you find irritating in the listening habits of other people and then examine your own listening behavior. See if you just might exhibit any of the behaviors you find annoying. Create a checklist of habits you want to change. Also, acknowledge yourself for the listening habits you have that do work for you. This type of thorough self-exploration is another way to learn about your filters, barriers and triggers as a listener. Once you identify and reduce what gets in the way of your ability to hear, you'll increase your effectiveness as a listener.

Listen without formulating a response to the speaker.
As listeners we think about 500 words per minute while the normal speaking rate is about 125 to 150 words per minute. That creates a lot of room for communication to break down or for your mind to wander! Try to hear everything that is being said, listen to the entire message and then respond. The temptation is to fill the extra space with your own thoughts and/or responses to what is being said, but filling this space with your own thoughts or responses will take you out of the current conversation. And, you may miss valuable information because you've moved on to a new topic - without the speaker.

Listen with empathy.
Empathy is an imaginative process. Empathy is emptying the mind and listening with the whole being. Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. True empathy is the ability to fully understand and accept another, complete with all their feelings, thoughts and opinions. It is often frustrating for someone needing empathy to have us assume they want reassurance or "fix-it" advice. Learn to listen for: What's not being said? What's in the way? What's missing? What's needed right now? What's most important to the speaker?

Become aware of the speaker's non-verbal communication.
One estimate has it that 75% of all communication is non-verbal. Beyond the words is a host of clues as to what the speaker is communicating. Is the speaker's posture rigid or relaxed? Does the speaker maintain eye contact? Does the speaker's vocal tone match the words s/he is using? Are the speaker's movements tense or relaxed and are the movements congruent with the message the words are conveying? Is the verbal and non-verbal communication consistent?

Create an environment for the listening to occur.
Remove distractions. For example, if you are watching a sporting event on TV or are in the middle of a project at work, you probably don't have the time or space to be an effective listener. Or if you are feeling stressed, you just won't be available to hear what the speaker is saying. Let the speaker know now is not a good time and schedule a time when you can be fully present for the conversation in mind, body and spirit.

We all need to feel that we are being heard and understood. It is a basic human need that is as primary a need as having enough water, food or air to survive. So, try out any of these suggestions and you will experience more of a connection to those around you.

And, if all else fails just remember these words by Epictetus, an ancient Greek philosopher and you are guaranteed to improve your listening skills: "Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak."
(KPNN-Inspirations)

The Phantom is cruising...

2005-03-14T07:02:00.000+08:00

Time flies... Just a year ago, it was so stormy and my life was upside down... Now, the sky is clearing up and at least, there's a little sunshine...

My new job is great... been busy and coping well... the company is small but definitely growing... the company got me a small car and that really help me get around a bit... Carol and I finally had our very simple wedding and she's now expecting... To top it all up, the HDB offered 341 new 4-rm flats (those next to Tiong Bahru Plaza and those next to Redhill MRT) for balloting... We've sent in our application and hope that we get lucky...

But as with life, even the calmest water has its ripples... and the only ripple is that Carol had lost her job as a result of her pregnancy... Strange how her boss is so short-sighted to have asked her to leave because he can't bear to pay her the 3 months paid maternity leave (new legislation)... too bad... we have reported her case to the Ministry of Manpower and they are investigating into our complaint...

So, for now... I will just have to be the sole breadwinner... again... Fortunately, we had been quite used to a life of poverty by now, so... it didn't really hit us that hard... Besides, this is nothing compared to what we've been thru last year...

Iggi is also coming back soon (2nd April) for his holidays and I can't wait to see him... He must have grown a little... and we're definitely going to have some good quality time together... We even had his whole itinerary planned... where we're gonna go... what we gonna eat... etc... I'm just so excited about Iggi's home-coming that everyone around me is baffled... guess they will never know what this reunion with my son means to me... I'm just so happy...

Iggi's place in my heart will always be a big place... this is because he has simply went thru too much... You may say that I'm so bias (now that Carol is expecting) but I just can't help it... I love Iggi too much... not that I'm gonna love the one that's gonna come less but Iggi is so far away and I only get to see him twice a year... so I guess, absence DO make the heart grow fonder...
Anyway, I am also excited about being a father again lah... Just that Iggi's home-coming seem to take the centre-stage at this point, that's all...

Well, so much from me for now...
(KPNN-Gossips)

The Phantom Strikes Back...

2004-12-15T18:58:00.000+08:00

Dear family & friends,

Good news....

I've found a new job as a Sales Manager with a web-based applications solution company. A small company but then again, its a great challenge to grow with it. I see myself re-living those days in Henry Butcher where I brought its agency department to its peak under my leadership. I hope to do likewise here.

My boss has very high regards for me. He is confident that my past business experience, my sharp business acumens and my leadership qualities would be beneficial to his company. He is frank and honest to say that he can't promise me much now but he aspires to take the company to greater heights. He hoped that I could be his vehicle that will take him there. And when that happens, he promised that I would be rewarded accordingly.

Actually, after all that I've gone through, there's really nothing much that I can ask for. I mean, I am in no position to ask for anything now. Like a fallen angel, its hard for anyone to see my abilities. I should just deliver whatever I have and bring the results before asking for anything. For now, it will be solely hardwork with a small pay-package but I have faith that we will make it. Not that I am complacent, but rather, this company has a good foundation. Its got very skilled engineers and they have a sound business model. Just that as engineers, they lack the right marketing fire-power and ammunition to punch through.

My boss was an elite communications engineer in a high-profile company that had served some of the biggest organisations including NASA. Its other key engineer was formerly from another elite group - the F16 Sqn of the Republic of Singapore Air Force (now you see why I'm so at home here?).

Our company's forte is in VOIP (Voice Over IP) communications, E-Learning Solutions, Web-Based Business Management Solutions and Internet Video Conferencing. Our VOIP solutions give crystal clear voice and video that would help many companies save thousands of dollars in IDD bills. Our web-streaming solution is by far the fastest in the industry that makes our E-Learning Solutions a much sought after solution. Our web-based business solutions will bring geographically handicapped businesses to astonish heights.

Since I joined the company, I can feel the high morale in everyone there. They all have strong AQs and working attributes that had given me hope. Together, we've broken down doors that were shut to the company before. We can now re-group whatever resources that we have now and soon, we would be launching massive marketing campagins wave after wave...

I see a future here. I'm also in the process of recruiting my team of power sales people to drive this mission. And this is like deja-vu. When I first joined Henry Butcher, they only had 3 sales agents. It grew to over twenty and some of them became some of the best agents in the industry.

Well, its nice that my boss can see me beyond the current mess that I am in and gave me this opportunity to regain my lost ego, my badly bruised soul and most of all, my dignity. I know I am a strong man in every aspect (physical, emotional, phsychological, etc)... and though I know I'd get up no matter how hard I fall, that lift from my boss was all that I need to spring me back up immediately. Its like a wounded soldier in a defeated battle... worn and weary... lying down in pain but hanging on... biting the bullet and fighting on to stay alive for as long as he can... then suddenly, his brothers in arms arrived to his aid... NOW... this wounded soldier stands up once again... and with all that he is still left with, he charges forward together with his commardes despite his wounds still bleeding... he's a warrior once again... and together, he will over-run all odds... he is unstoppable now...

The Phantom won't be defeated... he is stronger than ever before because he knows that there would be no obstacles that could stop him now... no mountain too high for him... no river too wide... those hard knocks that he took made him stronger... those obstacles are now his pillar of strength... and not only will the Phantom survive... he will move on to re-claim the glory that he once lost...

Well, Christmas is only 10 days away... so let this Christmas bring hope to everyone around me... let this Christmas mark the re-birth of the Phantom.... As for my Christmas, I just hope that Iggi can be here to witness this fight to re-claim my lost crown... I wished he could see his father live up to all the things that his father believed in and had taught him when he was a kid... and most of all, I hope to be a father that he can be proud of... Merry Christmas...
(KPNN-Gossips)

Learning Korean...

2004-12-02T00:50:00.002+08:00

Hi guys,

With Korean Pop and Korean Movie getting saucy hot in Singapore, you may wanna learn Korean. I was spring cleaning my emails and found this link from a Korean chick that I used to date...

I found that online Let's Learn Korean site quite useful... Check it out... You can skip Part 1 (it is quite boring) and go straight to Part 2.. Start with Chapter 1 and CLICK Lesson AOD... select Lesson 1 and listen to the lesson... to get back to the text to see what the hell is she talking about, CLICK "List"... You should be able get back to the that page...

http://rki.kbs.co.kr/learn_korean/lessons/e_index.htm

This is a free site and they have quite an extensive coverage of 30 Chapters over 3 Parts... It may not be enough to be convesational but at least, it will be a good start...
(KPNN-Resources)

Phantom's Updates - Nov 2004

2004-11-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

Dear friends,

Thanks for all the help and concerns (really appreciate that... so who's says friends won't be around when we are down?)... Anyway, I am fine.. you guys should know me better... it will take a lot to knock me off my feet... but even then, I'd stand up in no time... the term, "giving up" is just not in my vocab...

I had not been out much these days because I need to spend more time with my family. Dad's health is getting worse each day and mom is going bonkers over it (yeah... tell me... u should know how paranoid she can get)... Also, I wanna cut back on my expenses to save some money... with no regular income forthcoming, one has gotta trim his expenses and be more prudent on his spendings...

Iggi is fine too... the last time I spoke to him, he had a cold... but other than that, he's ok... but I miss him so much... the sparkle in his eyes, the touch of his little hand, the scent of his sweaty head (he's ever active, u see)... sigh... ok... ok... I shan't go into that again... otherwise, I'll feel hurt again... now, I only look forward to seeing Iggi again next summer...

Iggi also said his mom find the things there (in the UK) very expensive and as such, there are some things that Iggi loves, they becomes a luxury now... I've just bought a whole long list of the stuffs he likes and sent it over... the freight is crazy and some may even say that with the freight in, its actually better off buying those stuffs there... but hey... I ain't gonna deprive my kid from the things he loves...

The property market is really very sluggish... had two ads up in the papers last week and there are only 3 calls and not even a single viewing... I've resorted to doing surveys for Jacq in the evenings to supplement some income... don't get much but enough to pay my bills and the Official Assignee... its really hardwork going from door to door... having doors slammed at me so often (geez... can't Singaporeans be more gracious)... I'm not asking for charity... just asking for a chance to earn my dues by granting me a survey (and they get paid as well)...

I tell you, every penny earned has its sweat and blood... every dollar earned was only after miles that I've walked with doors slammed on my face... with the little income I get from these surveys, its hard meeting the payment schedule to the Official Assignee but I wanna get discharged next year so I can't default on that... I've just gotta pull myself along...

Anyway, things aren't all that bad... in fact, things are slowly falling into place now... I've done my time and Iggi had left for UK with his mom... that, should put a closure on these two issues... and so far... Iggi had cope better than I thought... guess he's also a fighter like his old man and his grand dad... except I do miss him terribily though... and I do wish he can call me more often...
It will be a very long road ahead... sure, there'd be people that will shun me... and finding a job won't be easy (I mean, at 40, a bankrupt and an ex-convict... hello???)... and even now, my day-to-day livelihood is at stake... but at least I've got my family and a few good friends... in fact, that's all I need... Like what Fr Paul says, "material comforts, fame, good-time friends... they are, but just, paintworks to a house... our character and our values form its foundation... our family, its pillars... our true friends, its roof... and God.. he's the land that our house is built upon..."

So... that's really all I need... and I've got them all with me here (including Iggi, he's close here in my heart and I know that I am too in his)... I've got a great family and a few faithful friends... so what if I've lost everything else??? Last weekend, I went over to Jinghao's place with Carol, Anthony, Jacq and William... we only had the Pineapple Rice that I cooked for dinner... but it was certainly one of the best meals that I've ever had... that's what these friends of mine filled that pot of Pineapple Rice with... warmth and love...

For those of you whom are still chasing rainbows for that pot of gold on the other side, take heed... that pot of gold may just be right beside you... GOLD... its how u see it... for me, what I have now is better than any amount of gold that I could possibily have... sure, it'd be nice if I can find gold... but I certainly won't throw away all I have now to go chasing it...

Well, I'll now leave you guys with a beautiful song Click Here to listen to it. Its called "Wildfire"... very nice lyrics (pls see below)...
(KPNN-Gossips)

Artist: AMERICA
Song: Wildfire

She comes down from Yellow Mountain
On a dark, flat land she rides
On a pony she named Wildfire
With a whirlwind by her side
On a cold Nebraska night

Oh, they say she died one winter
When there came a killing frost
And the pony she named Wildfire
Busted down its stall
In a blizzard he was lost

She ran calling Wildfire [x3]

By the dark of the moon, I planted
But there came an early snow
There's been a hoot-owl howling by my window now
For six nights in a row
She's coming for me, I know
And on Wildfire we're both gonna go

We'll be riding Wildfire [x3]

On Wildfire we're gonna ride
Gonna leave sodbustin' behind
Get these hard times right on out of our minds
Riding Wildfire

Yellow Ribbons For The Phantom

2004-10-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

Since my last update, a lot had happened... Iggi had left for England (boy, do I miss him); I've lost my job; and I spent 2 weeks in prison for breaking my ex-wife's window over Iggi's custody issues.

Iggi left for England on 2nd October 2004, a day after I went to prison. Before he left, he asked me why was I so stupid as not to run away after breaking the window but waited for the police to arrive. I told him that sometimes in life we make mistakes. Running away is only gonna let the guilt come back to haunt us later. We have to own up to our mistakes bravely, face whatever punishment willingly and refrain from making that mistake again. Only then can we hold our heads up high. Only then can we make the people we love, proud and not ashamed. After that, Iggi said, "I'm proud of you dad." I was so touched and glad that my son isn't ashamed that his dad is an ex-convict.

Because of my imprisonment, I lost my job. I was asked to leave immediately after they found out that I will be going to prison. The real truth was, the company was not doing well and was taking this opportunity to trim their labour cost. I fought my case with the Ministry of Manpower for wrongful dismissal and I was awarded 2 weeks salary-in-lieu as compensation.

Now, I decided to make a come-back in the real estate industry. Thankfully, a big bunch of agents whom I've led during those days when I was the Operations Manager at a Real Estate firm rallied behind me for my come-back. With their faith in my leadership, I'm now back in the industry (with another agency though). But, agents don't have a basic pay. Our renumeration is strictly commission based so its gonna be pure hardwork.

As for my 2 weeks at the Queenstown Remand Prison, all I can say is that it was hell. Will elaborate on it in my next newsletter. The only water source in my cell was the toilet bowl and THAT was the least of all. So, you can imagine what other worse things that I experienced in there.

In any case, I am looking for this year to end as 2004 is one that I hope to forget. In the forthcoming year, 2005,

- I hope to be discharged from my bankruptcy,
- I hope to see Iggi in summer,
- I hope to host the Wedding Fairytale that we've all been waiting for,
- I hope to make and save some money to buy a flat,
- and last but not least, I hope to bring mom & dad for a holiday.
(KPNN-Gossips)

Phantom Loses Custody..

2004-08-30T23:25:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

Its been three months since my last update on this site. Well, I've been real busy.. and I mean REAL BUSY..

As all of you know by now, that the custody battle that I am fighting with my Charon is now over.. And though the judgment of the Court wasn't something that I am satisfied with, I'm glad this had all ended.. Honestly, I got very tired (physically, emotionally and financially).. Its not that I'm giving up but.. thru all these years of fighting, it had caused Iggi much pain to be caught in the middle..

When the judgment was passed, I decided to accept the fate coz fighting on will only increase the sufferings of Iggi.. Weighing the injustice that I sufferred with what Iggi had to go thru, I rather make this sacrifice to swallow the hurt than to prolong Iggi's trauma arising from the conflicts that I have with Charon.. I just hope Charon will let all these pass as well and focus on letting Iggi resume "normal" life.. afterall, she got what she wanted (i.e. taking him to England). Though I know she is unhappy with the judgment as well, I just hope that she could accept that as I accepted it.. I'm not an unreasonable person and I'm still prepared to make concessions to those judgments made in my favour just as long as they are not overly demanding..

Why should I make any concessions after what she put me thru? Well, I love Iggi.. I only want what's best for him.. I've never been a tight-fisted person and I'm still willing to compromise for as long as there's a mutual benefit for Iggi..

This battle had left me with lots of scars.. and there is still a last case pending for which I would be charged in Court for breaking her window.. I may serve a jail sentence for that rash act eventually, but so be it.. whatever will be, shall be.. it'd all be over soon.. Thereafter, everything shall be under the bridge.. I'll move on..

As for my job, well.. the company's take-over bid is certain.. I had been reassured that I'd be able to keep my job but as for the pay package, nothing is finalised yet.. my boss had prepared us that we may have to take a pay-cut.. Whether to stay on after the pay-cut really depends on how deep is the cut..

Back at home.. my dad's health isn't getting any better. His left eye is totally blind now. His nerves are also failing. He can't feel much these days. At times it got so bad that he can't even get up without support. Yet, he's still not giving up. I guess he loves my mom too much to leave her behind. He constantly tells me that he really don't know how much he worries for mom when he thinks about not being around anymore. Sigh.. he's a strong man, isn't he? He never ever did give up on anything, has he? Dad, I'm proud of you.. If not for the living example that you had set for me, I really don't know how I'd be able to pull thru all these that I'm going thru right now..

As for mom, well, her health is failing day after day as well.. her right ear is totally deaf and her sight is failing as well.. Physically, she may seem fit but deep within, I know she, too, is struggling.. I can see how she is trying to out-live my dad for the same very reason that she can't bear to leave him behind on his own.. Their love for each other is so inspirational for me.. To a certain exent, I was much influenced by their steadfastness and perserverance. Thus, despite what I've went thru, I still found reasons to love, forgive and keep my hopes alive..

Finally, tonight.., before I sleep, I will pray that God will bless Iggi and to keep him in His best care. I wish Charon best of luck and hope she will find happiness in her new life in England. I also pray that God will bless my parents with less sufferrings and if, when their time is up, grant them a peaceful departure from this earthly world and embrace them in His loving arms in Heaven. I further pray that God will bless all those that are dear to me (colleagues, friends and relatives including Charon's dad, mom & family) with good health, happiness and strength to take on whatever life entails.

Last but not least, I pray that God will bless my beloved wife, Carol. May she stay healthy and happy. And... thank you, Lord.. for giving me all these beautiful people that came so dear to my heart.. meant so much in my life.. I thank God for watching over me despite all that I've been thru that had given me the opportunity to grow and to learn to love myself and these people so dear to me.. and to forgive those that had inflicted pain upon me.
(KPNN-Gossips)

Money For Your Thoughts

2004-05-10T18:19:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

I'm helping a friend's company (a survey consultancy agency) in one of their survey projects for their clients on Consumers Behaviour.

I wish to invite all KPNN supporters to register for that survery coz you will be paid handsomely if you are shortlisted to take part in their survey. Don't worry, there's no complulsory presentations or sales talk to attend. You're STRICTLY being paid for your opinions. She had asked for my help to source and shortlist candidates for her as the number of candidates required is quite big coz she knows that KPNN has a big mailing list (they need 1000 candidates)... so I went a step further and helped her do up an online survey registration form that will enable her company to shortlist suitable candidates there.

Please CLICK HERE to register if you're interested... and if you could help by forwarding this to your all your friends, that will be very nice of you... closing date for registration is 1/6/2004....
Quite easy money really... the last exercise on IT professionals whom are working in a non IT-related company was a good example... I'm sure those that participated were quite happy with the cash reward you guys got... but sadly for that exercise, many of you didn't qualify... but this one, you should have a better chance... they are basically looking for a very wide spectrum of consumers for this survey... housewives, professionals, single, married, young, old, high or low income, etc... just be truthful in answering and who knows, you may be walking away with a few hundred dollars....
(KPNN-Gossips)

Phantom Mulled Again...

2004-04-17T21:40:00.000+08:00

I can't tell you how much I appreciate you guys mustering behind me in support. You guys are great.

Today is a very painful day for me. My ex-wife insisted that I can only see Iggi on supervised access even though the Court had rejected her application for Iggi's PPO against me. [erm... for the benefit of those who's not aware of what happened, Charon and I had a big fight coz she didn't allowed me to see Iggi... In a fit of fury, I smashed her window]. Will be in Court on Monday, 19 April 2003, again to address this issue.

Meanwhile, she only agreed to grant me supervised access at the Tanjong Pagar FSC today between 11am to 12pm. However, she only showed up at 11:35am. As the Tanjong Pagar FSC already had a prior booking for the use of that same room from 12pm onwards, my access was forced by such circumstances to end at 12pm. I was, yet again, shortchanged.

During the access, that Iggy behaved very hostile and rude towards me (not like him to do that at all). I reprimanded Iggy for his disrespectful and rude behaviour as I felt that Iggy’s conduct warrants discipline. I love him but I won't spoil him lor. I asked him if that was what he was taught and he claimed that his teacher in school had told him to do so. I then told Iggy that I will go to his school on Monday to confront his teacher to confirm that. It was only then, that he admitted that it was not the teacher that taught him that but someone else. He refused to mentioned whom that someone is but we can all guess who that may be. Who else is close enough that had the most amount of time with Iggy and whom are in the most favourable position to influence Iggy to behave in such manner. I didn’t continue to pressure Iggy to admit that it was her that had taught him all that because my time with was already very limited. Also, I didn’t want to make things any harder for Iggy.

My ex-wife's conduct is unacceptable and her ability of bringing up Iggy with correct values are now highly questionable. Even though there are disputes between us, teaching a child to be rebellious and disrespectful to his father is not what any prudent or responsible parent would do. Iggy’s coping with our divorce and custody is already hard enough on the kid, the least that we can do (as a responsible parent) is to spare Iggy from being torn to show loyalty to one parent more than the other.

So, after a very brief reprimanding of Iggy (about 2-3 minutes in the presence of the supervising welfare officer), I went on to explain to him why his conduct was wrong. I reminded him that we (the school, the church and me) had always taught him to be respectful towards his elders and he had learnt well in the past, so I asked him not to lose all that he had learnt. I cited Darth Vader (one of the villain characters in one of Iggi’s favourite movie “Star Wars”) as an example. In that movie, Darth Vader used to be a good "jedi". He was manipulated and was made to turn to his dark side because of his weakness towards greed, temptation, hatred and anger. I then asked him if he wanted to end up like Darth Vader. He was remorseful. Thank God.

I told him that in life, he should not be influenced by people. That he should know distinctly what is right and what is wrong. I ended that issue with a new prayer I taught him (he remembers all those prayers I taught him). I told him to pray for God’s help to give him strength, courage and wisdom whenever he felt weak, troubled or unhappy. I re-assured him that I love him and will always be there if ever he felt that way. I told him to call me (yes, he still remembers my phone number by heart) if he ever feels sad. But what I didn’t tell him was, that his mommy will do just about anything to stop me from seeing him. That access session ended as that. There was no time for anything else.

After the supervised access, I stayed for a while to discuss some issues with the welfare officer supervising the access. When I left the Tanjong Pagar FSC, that woman and her new husband.. erm... they got married on 3 April 2003... can't see how anyone can still go thru a wedding amidst all these lawsuits.. goes to show how much she "loves" Iggy... anyway, she and her hubby waited for me downstairs and as I was about to leave the building, they confronted me.

She asked me why did I tell Iggy that she’s bad (obviously from her senseless interrogation of Iggy after my session of access with him.. without sparing a thought about how Iggy felt). Her allegations were baseless and I denied saying that. The access was conducted under the supervision a welfare officer and the truth can easily be established. I refused to go along with the confrontation any further and I walked away peaceably.

While walking away, both she and her new hubby hurled verbal insults and provocations at me. She was raising her voice behind me like a mad dog and her new hubby was saying to me as I passed him in front of my son that “you’re such a useless old man”. My reaction to his crude provocation was cool... I just to shrug my shoulders and walked right on by. Nonetheless, their conduct were downright appalling.

As she has a PPO against me (yup she got the PPO but the Court rejected Iggi's), I didn’t want to give her any more grounds to make my life any worse than the living hell that it already is. I had to swallow those insults made by them and walked away (but then, what's new anyway?).
Knowing that she will lie through her teeth to deny this in Court, I went back (after buying my newspaper from the 7-Eleven Store nearby) to the few shops within proximity to where the provocation took place to ask if anybody witnessed it. And yes, two shop owners witnessed it. I shared with them a little background of my story and they concurred that I did the right thing by walking away.

I will bring this matter to Court on Monday. Let's pray for me that justice shall prevail..
(KPNN-Gossips)

Updates from Phantom... March 2004...

2004-03-01T07:09:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

Its been a while since I last updated this site here... Well, a lot had happened over the past 2 months and it had been wearing me out quite a bit.. Things had juz not been going well for me since the turn of the year...

The merger at our company is off.. and being in a very tight cashflow, that was extreme bad news... looks like we've got to fight this slump by ourselves... last Saturday, we saw yet another round of retrenchment (the 3rd since last year).. another 4 staff had to pack and go.. its was so sad because these were good staff... staff that stayed, fought and gave the best years of their lives.. our boss gave a farewell lunch today and tears filled all our eyes when he choked back to ask for forgiveness from the 4 of them that are leaving.. but it was something that he couldn't help it.. It was really cruel...

My ex-wife had also been driving me nuts.. she plans to take Iggi to the UK and had been real mean about it.. I really give up with her... she's beyond redemption.. but if she thinks that she's gonna have an easy victory, dream on... if I can fight the cancerous polyps in my colon... if I can fight on to face my bankruptcy... there's nothing that I won't fight.. If she thinks that she can wear me out financially with her multiple lawsuits.. if she thinks that by "brain-washing" Iggi with all negative lies she tells about me... she's dead wrong... I'm no push-over...

Honestly, I feel so sad for her.. she had degraded herself to a state where her parents and her whole family disowned her (trust me, you can't imagine what she had done.. for them to do that... her whole family you know)... and she thinks that her knight in shinning armour in the UK waits with open arms for her but sadly (and the truth is), she's just another loose woman in his life.. he's probably bedding many other women while she's here in Singapore... To me, a prostitute has more dignity than her... at least a prostitute gets laid coz she only wanna make a living...

Perhaps she hates me for not granting her the divorce soon enough for her to keep the illegitimate unborn child she had with her adulterous lover (or lovers)... seriously, she was double timing so many men at that time that it would be hard determining who's the father of that bastard. If I were that bastard, I'd rather that I was not born.. So... come to think of it... I actually did that bastard a favour by not granting her the divorce soon enough...

Anyway, despite everything that she did to me, I sincerely wish her the best of luck (and she's gonna need lots of that).. and if she's reading this (yeah, she spys here as well... I juz found out)... I have one advice for her... "huey tou shi an" (turn back, that's the shore)... don't hold on to your hatred and sink with it.. it'd ruin you.. blood will always be thicker than water... your parents will always love you... no matter how bad you've treated them... their doors will always be open if only you turn back to them...
(KPNN-Gossips)

Goodbye 165 Sqn...

2004-02-11T19:04:00.000+08:00

The once elite 165 Squadron will soon be history (so the rumour goes)... after guarding the Singapore skies for 20 yrs... after proven its worth in thousands of exercises local and overseas... after many batches of many proud men of this very elite unit gave the best years of their lives... the RAPIER will soon retire....

This shall be a very sad moment for those whom had served under the wings of this squadron... and as the colors of this squadron fly its last days... we herewith raise our hands to salute this squadron, the weapons, the officers and men of 165 Squadron with due honour....

Below is the link to "Charlie Flight - 12"s website (Charlie-12 is the last batch of active men commissioned under 165 Sqn).... For those who wish to know why 165 Sqn is an elite unit... or for those whom used to serve with the Phantom on "Bravo Flight - 6" (Pioneer Bravo Flight) and who wanna re-live those glorious days, go to http://www.singaporerapier.com
so long Rapier... happy retirement... or click on KPNN's Photo Gallery for Bravo 6's photos.

"Salute... Rapier" (Present Arms).....

Callsign: Phantom...
Flight Sergeant, Fire Unit VI (1983 - 1986)
BRAVO FLIGHT, 165 SQUADRON
Republic of Singapore Air Force
aka EDiToR, K.P.N.N.
(Kay Poh News Network)

KPNN Turns 6yrs Old Soon...

2004-01-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

Someone wrote me an email yesterday and asked me why haven't I updated my website or wrote much about the tussles I am going thru anymore... she asked me if everything is smooth sailing and if "my dark clouds are all over"???

Well... how shall I put it.... ok... I juz wanna say that I've grown out of all the pain and torment... Problems??? well... there will always be... and yes, Charon is STILL giving me hell... just a few weeks before, she asked for more maintenance... and when I said I couldn't afford to (especially after my pay-cut), she kicked a big fuss... now she wanna restrict my access of Iggi to juz every other Sundays... but why had I kept mum and not voiced it on KPNN?

u see... over the years, I've grown... a lot wiser... a lot more tolerant... and most of all... a lot more happier... not because I'm so used to getting shot in the leg, but its just that, I've learnt to count my blessings more than my misfortunes... I've learnt to let go (the hatred, the pain, the anger, etc)... I've learnt not to worry myself sick over things that are beyond my control or comprehension... I figured that life, itself, is hard enough... makes no sense making it any worse...

I've seen lots over the past few years... though I may not be the most unfortunate guy on earth, my share of misfortunes, pain, etc. is enough for any man to contemplate suicide... but the cool thing is that I survived... with the help of friends and loved ones, of coz... THIS, in turn, had been most inspiring... never thought I could survive anything like that before...

So why am I not writing about it anymore??? Well... there's no need to anymore... its something that I can deal with it face to face now... I no longer need an outlet or source to contain my grievences or hatred or whatever... I dun need people to feel for me in order that I heal... and like the song, "I did it my way"... there are no strings that bind me anymore... no walls that encumbered me... I can and I will survive...

And the future of KPNN? well... it will still exist and u guys will get updates on how things are with me... fun stuffs to make u guys roll over... inspirational philosophies to give u guys a push when u stop... upcoming events... etc... in a nutshell, KPNN is still very much my life... just that my life had made a turn...

In about a month, KPNN will turn 6 yrs old... thanx for all your support and your readership had kept KPNN going...
(KPNN-Editor's Desk)

Goodbye 2003

2003-12-31T17:54:00.000+08:00

Dear Friends,

Well, 2003 has come to an end... and in a mere few hours, 2004 will be arriving... While we await the new year, there are lots to wish for and lots to reconcile with... As we rush thru the final minutes to close 2003, we may find that there's just not enough time left... Frantic and anxious, we worry ourselves sick... Well, don't worry about not being able to get EVERYTHING done by today... that is why in accounting procedures, we have Balance C/F; Provision for Transitional Transactions, etc... etc...

Life is an ongoing race... whether u have a closure on your past or not... life goes on... the only difference is, when you have a closure, u move on... if u don't, its like a bug... it sticks with u until u get a closure... Sometimes getting a closure is not easy... especially when its something that weighs a lot in your life... its ok... give it time and let it heal...

The most important thing is to know how to deal with your "outstanding balances".... like a string debts, u'd just have to know how to handle it and sort them out before they crush u... so... don't be too hard on yourself...

Take a break.... take time off to go home to your family and friends and enjoy your New Year... when tomorrow comes, tomorrow will take care of itself... u have too much today that u can already handle... wrecking your minds over what's to come doesn't help solve anything, so why bother...

Me??? Well... I'm all numb to all these by now... and u know what??? I'm so much wiser now... So what if 2003 had been a bad year... so what if 2004 looks bleak.... Rain or shine, it'll pass... its just how we choose to survive it....

Ants work themselves sick to gather all that they can before the storm (sometimes more than they ever need)... the snakes? they laze around, sleep and does nothing till the storm comes and many die without surviving the cold winter... the beavers??? well... they just gather just enough... just what they need to survive the storm and have fun all summer... and when it turn out that what they gathered, isn't enough, they'd just make do and struggle thru the whole winter (no matter how tough it is).... Well, winter is almost over... what are u????

Are u the ant that is safe and sound but still worried how long will this winter last or are u still boggling over whatever u've gathered is enough to last u??? Or are u the snake that is sleeping thru the cold and weariness of the storm... well, for me, I'd guess I'll try to be like the beavers... life goes on no matter what... when winter is here and if I don't have enough, I'll just struggle but never give up... When the sun comes up again, I'll take time to take stock of what makes my life great... my loved ones, the things I wanna do, etc.. etc... and then I plot the path for which I wanna head...

So hang loose for now.... go out... party... and have a great time... its New Year's Eve... deal with your problems next year... u've worried enough for now...

Happy New Year....
(KPNN-Gossips)

Iggi's Graduation...

2003-12-30T23:14:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

I lost custody of Iggi last christmas. But I managed to keep him within the jurisdiction of Singapore... i.e. Charon can't take him out of Singapore without my consent. I only have access every other weekends... much at the mercy of Charon really... she uses Iggi as an emotional blackmail on me to get things her way... its like saying to me, "I want this... and if I don't get it, you're not gonna get to see Iggi"... yeah... that really sucks...

One year had past but the wound still hurts (for Iggi and me).. Its still painful and I miss my boy terribly.. But this is already a reality.. Both Iggi and I have accepted this as our fate of being separated.. Even then, we had countless tearful nights whenever we talked about how much we miss each other.. whenever we feel the long-yearned hug of each other..

Iggi had coped well... like me, he stands strong and faced his pain head on.. Its comforting that he remembered everything I taught him. The most touching part is that he uses what I taught him to console me.. like.. "Dad, the best way to fight the pain is to face it, right? You taught me so didn't you?".. Whenever I get pissed when Charon & I quarrel, he would say, "Remember? Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can't hurt you".. And whenever I felt like giving up, he would say... "Dad... if you think you can... YOU CAN"... Well, what can I say? If a 6 yr old can hang in there, how can I let him down? How can I defy everything that I taught him?

Today, my boy had graduated from pre-school... On 2 January 2004, he will start his primary education at St Stephen's School... Though this is just the start of his academic pursuit, it is still a significant milestone for my lad... He had gone thru a lot for a 6 yr old... With many more challenges to come, much is left to be seen on how junior copes... Nonetheless, whatever he endeavours, I'd be behind him... all the way...

Meanwhile, enjoy the video of his Graduation Ceremony... just CLICK HERE... to view it...
(KPNN-Gossips)

X'mas 2003...

2003-12-07T23:31:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

Time sure flies... its another X'mas again... and yeah... in 4 months time, I'll be 40... Every year, at X'mas, I've looked back at each year and how it had been for that year..

This year, the biggest event was me getting registered for marriage recently... For a man that had done that 3 times already (this is the 4th), u would assume that it can be a drag... well, I'm telling u... it can STILL be exciting...

Besides getting married, the next most memorable event must be my son's graduation... he'll be going to St Stephen's next year, so his pre-school held a graduation concert for the departing classes... It was the proudest moment for me, a father watching my boy up on stage.. I've got video of that and I'm in the process of posting it in here...

Oh yes, did I tell you guys that I had applied for a 4-rm flat under HDB's Nov 2003 Balloting Exercise?? Anyway, we're just trying our luck. The location of the flats offered was superb (right next to Tiong Bahru Plaza) and it attracted more than 900 applications for the 90 flats offered... so the chances of anyone getting the flat would be 1 out of 10 or 11... Being a First-Time Applicant & with my folks living within 2km of the flat offered, the HDB said my chances of getting the flat is high but I'm not counting on it... who knows? there's a chance that the majority of the other applicants whom are also first-timers & living near their parents... so we'll wait and see if I'd get lucky...

The second pay-cut my company recently had was painful.. a lot of adjustments had to be made to my spending... It was sad that the first pay-cut didn't save the company... and now, we're going for a major merger... There are lots of uncertainties with this merger... uncertainties like.. if we can keep our jobs... if we can cope with the new corporate culture, management, etc... The overall morale had hit rock bottom... we're just hanging on and hoping for the best...

Taking stock of how I had progressed this year, I've found that I've grown a lot wiser each year... In the past, I would have long lists of things to write about.. And trust me, most of the times, they weren't pleasant things... The scale is often weighted towards those unpleasant times... But now, the scale somehow tilts more to the blessings I've had... It didn't mean that my share of unpleasant events had diminished, its just that I've chosen not to record them for its passed.. its history.. and most importantly so... its forgotten.. In a way, I've learnt to count my blessings more than my misfortunes.. and I'm a happier man now...

At this point, I'd like to share with you guys here... when in any situation, there's always 2 ways of reacting to it... you can either stay positive and make the best of what are in... OR.... sit there and feel sorry for yourself and let all the negative thoughts destoy you gradually... The choice is ours.. Choose to have a MERRY X'MAS...
(KPNN-Gossips)

PS: For photos of our X'mas party, check out KPNN's Photo Gallery...

Phantom Weds His Queen Of Hearts...

2003-11-19T20:42:00.000+08:00

The Phantom will wed his Queen of Hearts on 26 Nov 2003... You guys can read more about their wedding at http://sg.geocities.com/wedding_fairytale/

The customary wedding will be later... much later... till his son's custody issue is resolved...
(KPNN-Gossips)

Biggest Human Flag...

2003-11-07T18:02:00.000+08:00

On December 6, 2004... I will be at Junction 8, Bishan, with Carol and my son, Iggi, doing something meaningful (as they say, "Life isn't just all about you")... I'll be part of an event that is attempting to set a world guiness book record by forming the world's biggest "HUMAN FLAG" (we are targetting to assemble 16,000 people which isn't exactly a tall order)...

This is a charitable event and sponsors had agreed to pay an "X" amount of dollars for every participant registered to an appointed charitable organisation... So the more the participants, the more funds we would raise for the charitable organisation... I know you guys had been great, supporting all those past events and fund-raising drives posted on KPNN... And once again, I'd like to call upon all of you for your support again... For those of you whom had NEVER lent your support to any of those past events, this is the time that you can do something that you'd be proud of...

All you need to do is register with TRIP (send your SMS to 9855-8368), then present yourself on December 6 at Junction 8, Bishan. You'd be given a RED or WHITE T-shirt at "NO-COST" and you'd be allocated a place to stand to form the BIGGEST SINGAPORE FLAG... The whole event will only last for about 2 hrs... No sweat at all...

This is the time to show the world, what you would do for charity... this is not just to show how patriotic we can be... this is but just a small deed (doesn't cost you an arm or a leg) that you can do, but it has great mileage for the charitable organisation being the beneficiary...

Forward this to as many people you know that would sign up and be a part of this event.. So please SMS 9855-8368 to sign up NOW... Tell TRIP that The Phantom sent you to participate in this event... I want to see you there... Cheers.
(KPNN-Charity)

Agnes & David's Wedding

2003-11-02T21:33:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

On November 2, 2003... Carol's good friends, Agnes & David, tied the knot... and both the Phantom & his Queen of Hearts were their wedding coordinators... and yes, it was another successful wedding that the Phantom & his Queen of Hearts had coordinated...

Agnes & David were Carol's ex-colleagues. Their love blossom while working together... Agnes had since left the company...

The wedding turned out very well.. the guests, the bride & groom, all had lots of fun.. In fact, they had so much fun that everyone was drunk.. so drunk that the Phantom made the biggest boo-boo of his life... so malu... KPNN shan't cover that story here... too.. erm.. shameful... but for those who knows the story, erm... we had a good laugh... rite?

For photos of Agnes & David's wedding, please visit the KPNN's Photo Gallery (the link is on the right of this page)

Cheers.
(KPNN-Gossips)

Phantom's Love On The Rocks?

2003-10-13T13:01:00.000+08:00

Ok guys,

Stop speculating! What on earth had you guys been hearing.. Rumours and mor rumours...

"The Phantom got ditched (again)!!"..
"Phantom's Queen of Hearts had a change of hearts!!"..
"Phantom raising stakes with his Queen of hearts with his ballerina squeeze!!" (seriously, didn't know where this one came from)..
"Queen of Hearts dumping Phantom for her ex-boyfriend!!"..

DAMN.. you guys got more imaginations than I thought..

Well.. here's the official KPNN coverage.. The Phantom & his Queen of Hearts were supposed to have their wedding photos taken on Wednesday. But something at work forced the Phantom to postpone the photo shoot. The Queen of Hearts was angry with the Phantom and went down to Eastside to chill-out with her ex-boyfriend as the Phantom had to work late.

Then, the Phantom stepped in later that evening.. dead beat, bashed from work and with emotions darn low after incurring the Queen's wrath, he was in for a big surprise. I guess anybody would be fuming if placed in Phantom's shoes.. we all felt the tension then.. and I bet everyone wanna know what was on their minds..

The Queen of Hearts was angry with the Phantom for changing the date for such an important event. The Phantom felt that she should understand, as duty calls. The Queen of Hearts seeking some time-out and meeting her ex-boyfriend was purely coincidental. The Phantom thinks that its bad timing for her to be meeting her ex-boyfriend and that she had lied about the meeting.

Whatever, its a bad misunderstanding. As for the ballerina story, God knows where it originated. I mean, all of us know how Claire feels about Phantom right (this is no secret)? Perhaps, Claire's presence at Siam that night had somewhat got some people's tongue wagging. Poor Claire..

For your info, the Phantom and his Queen of Hearts had since, kissed and made up. In the end, its with communication, trust and forgiveness, that saved the day.
(KPNN-Gossips)

Words of Comfort...

2003-09-16T17:13:00.000+08:00

Hey guys,

Feeling down??? Sometimes, the way out of your biggest problems is to just LET GO...
Raise a glass of water in the air and ask yourself, how heavy u think that glass of water is??.... 20g? 50g?... seriously, its absolute weight does not matter... what matters, is really how long u hold it for ... hold it for a minute, its still quite ok... hold it for an hour, u'd probably have an ache in your arm... hold it for a day, and u'd probably need to go to the hospital....

u see, the weight (like our problems) remains the same... but the longer u hold on to it, the heavier it becomes... if u keep carrying your problems all the time, its only a matter of time before u burn out... actually, the solution to it is simple... all u need to do, is put the glass down...

Do you know how people catch monkeys in the forests of Sabah? They place a cage secured to the ground with some peanuts in it. On the top of the cage, they make a hole small enough for the monkey's empty hand to squeeze thru... then they sprinkle some peanuts on top of the cage to lure the monkeys... when the hunters come back a day later, they'd find the monkeys there with their hands stuck in the cages... this is because the monkeys squeezed their empty hands into the small holes to try to get the peanuts... but after getting the peanuts, their clenched fists can no longer make it out of the small holes of the cage... while the easiest way to break free is to release their clenched fists and abandon their peanuts, these monkeys hold on to their peanuts and struggles to get their hands out of the holes with them (even to the extent that they bleed from cuts) but they just won't let go if their peanuts... silly as it may seem to u, but that's how all of us are, when we come face to face with problems or with discontentment with life...

The moral of these stories shows that sometimes, the best approach to solve the problems in our lives is really to let them go... holding on to them is only gonna be a burden to us... we all love to have everything that we wish for... but in reality, there is only THAT much our hands could hold... just like dipping your hands into a bag of rice, no matter how hard u try to grasp with your bare hands, there can only be THAT much that you could grab with it... so why be so hard on yourself to the extent that u "bleed" from being burnt-out... from losing your loved ones... ????

Relax... there's more to life than chasing for that pot of gold at the other end of the rainbow... burning yourself out trying to keep a glass of water in the air is just silly... hang loose and appreciate whatever you have right now... even the best swimmers drown swimming against a strong current... there is no way swimming against it, so dun waste your strength... to survive a strong current... grab on to things that are important to keep yourself alive... focus on sheltering and protecting yourself from the hard knocks that you may experience along the way... go along with the flow of the current... save your strength till u're in calm waters... then, when u can see clearly now... when you are ready to move on... u can then struggle to steer yourself back on course (no matter how far u've drifted)... resting when u need to and keeping yourself safe from harm's way... even if it means another storm...

Take care pals... it may be a storm that we're all experiencing right now (be it physical, emotional, financial, social, whatever).... but no storms last forever... when the skies clear up, its bright and sunny once again... even the birds and insects knows how to handle a storm... there's no way to fight it... just let it pass (even if it is taking everything that we've built over all those years)... as long as u keep yourself alive, there'll always be a tomorrow... you will have no tomorrow if there's no YOU... I survived... so will you...

So hang loose and don't forget to... SMILE......
(KPNN-EditorFavs)

Wala Wala Re-Visited...

2003-09-08T03:30:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

It must had been a while since I last visited Wala Wala… Reason being really the distance from my new habitat…

But I popped by last Saturday to meet up with my best pal, Ting. It had also been a while since I caught up with her so, why not…

To my surprise, Wala Wala changed quite a bit… It had “live” bands now… actually, its been a while already, so I’ve heard… goes to show how long have I not been going to Wala Wala… The Wala Wala that I used to know is one that does not have air-conditioning and its very much a laid back black and white watering hole (lots of ang mohs and Indians then) with a rather mature neighbourhood crowd… The Wala Wala now, is more hip and the younger crowd seems to stream in from as far as Bedok… and last Saturday was packed… Bar-top dancing, however, doesn’t seem to catch on at Wala Wala (erm… don’t think they have a dancing license anyway)…
So what brings in the crowd??? Though the price of drinks at Wala Wala is not exactly cheap to begin with, I personally think that the band is the main attraction... couldn’t see how else could Wala Wala sustain that kind of crowd… afterall, how many night spots have good bands these days… or for that matter, how many bars have bands at all??? The few good ones that I frequent like Harry’s @ Boat Quay; BarNone @ the Mariott; Somerset Bar @ Westin; etc… all have very established resident bands there… in terms of music, I must admit that they are hard to beat… but in terms of entertainment, I think the band @ Wala Wala scores fairly well… That makes every penny its worth...

“The Unexpected Band”, as they are named, is a very versatile 4-piece band playing a wide repertoire of music ranging from rock to contemporary pop… Shirlyn, the lead singer/guitarist, has strong vocals… the “Kit Chan” look-a-like (only that she’s prettier), also has a bubbly personality… and I swear that she would make it as a stand-up comic if she ever decides not to sing… her rapport with the crowd is good and her ability to whip up the crowd into a frenzy is quite a feat… Fellow guitarist, Roy, shares her sense of humour and he’s kinda entertaining with his nimble fingers and silly jokes from time to time… Azri, the bassist, doubles as vocals too and his “Guns & Roses” covers are really good… Brandon, the quiet man on the drums, who often goes unnoticed, could be one hell of a drummer… he rocked the whole bar with his burst display of banging that I swear, is one of the best that I’ve seen… the entire bar just erupted when he did his “show of drummer ship”… the roars of applauds went on rolls...

I guess what makes “The Unexpected Band” stands out, is that they interact very well with the crowd on stage… very intimate... apart from the good music and jokes, they also make patrons feel very much at home… And at closing time, it was still packed and the crowd was still shouting for more… And if it wasn’t for the licensing restrictions, the party would had gone on…

It’s a pity that I didn’t have my digi-V-cam with me… else, I would had recorded a sample clip of their show to post it here… Nonetheless, I had a great time at Wala Wala… and if there’s anything to draw me from my other regular hangouts with “live” bands, it would be “The Unexpected Band”… truly unexpected… so, Wala Wala, I’d be back… and guys… you should check out the band too…

PS: The Unexpected Band only plays at Wala Wala on Thursdays and Saturdays…
(KPNN-NiteSpots)

Volunteers Wanted For Charity

2003-08-20T18:55:00.000+08:00

Hi frenz,

How often have you thank your lucky stars that you're born complete (as in without any disabilities)??? And how often have you spare a thought for how disable people go about their daily lives??? In our hustled and hurried world, do we often get so caught up with our own endeavours that we can't find the time to think that such unfortunate people co-exist in our world??? Well, let me just tell you that there's more to life than just chasing papers or racing up corporate ladders.

In our moments of glory, our moments of comfort, let's not forget that there are people that are less fortunate than us... people who need our help... (and they're not very far away.. right here)... Sure, everyone has their own problems to deal with.. and yes, many are finding it hard to cope with them as well. In times like that, had you ever wished that someone would just extend a hand to you? If so, would you like to be the one to make a difference to these disables?

There is no material incentives for lifting a hand to help. Perhaps you can't even find any reason to do so. But all I can say is... I feel great if I could make a difference to someone's life. You should too. Perhaps you don't agree with me... perhaps, you rather be blind to the sufferings of these less fortunate people... perhaps, you turn deaf when you hear their calls for help... or perhaps, you would just simply walk on by... But think again... What if one day you become one of them??? What if one day you're the one who's reaching out for help?? Could you then tell me how you would feel if everyone you call out to for help just simply walk on by??

Friends, I may not had the experience of being disable (thank God)... but I've been in dire straits before and I know what its like to be calling out to people for help and having them walk on by... it hurts...

I am no saint and life for me isn't all sunny, bright and gay for me as well... but there will always be room enough to give a little bit to thye less fortunate... however little that bit is... it'd make a difference to another fellow being...

We need your help and this is my call to you to lend a hand to these disable people... Its not gonna cost you an arm or a leg... just a little of your time... If you could just see how your little efforts would go a long way in helping these less fortunate people keep themselves alive or even perhaps, to realise their dreams (disable people have dreams too you know???)...

Of course, you can simply ignore this and walk on by... but you've gotta have a real hard heart to do that...

The "Very Special Arts, Singapore" (“VSA”), is a charity with a mission to promote the creative power of people with disabilities through Visual and Performing Arts. It uses the Arts as a tool to advance Rehabilitation, Social Integration and Financial Independence for people with sensorial, physical, behavourial and intellectual challenges.

The VSA will be hosting an exhibition from 30 Sept - 9 Oct 2003 and this exhibition will help raise funds for the disable from sales of paintings/crafts. Training will be provided, training date to be confirmed at a later date. For more information on the VSA, please visit The VSA's website at http://www.vsa.org.sg

We need volunteers for the following time slots for the exhibition:
9.30am - 12pm - 5 volunteers
11.45am - 2pm - 6 volunteers (peak period)
1.45pm - 4pm - 5 volunteers
3.45pm - 6pm - 6 volunteers (peak period)
5.45pm - 8pm - 6 volunteers (peak period)
7.45pm - 10pm - 5 volunteers

Time is 2 hours per slot. Volunteers are most welcome to do more than 2 hours per slot. Please contact Ms Cynthia Poh at 9488 4670 to extend a hand.
(KPNN-Community)

Phantom Junior Learns To Swim

2003-08-12T20:23:00.000+08:00

Hi frenz,

For years (2 years to be exact), Charon had paid instructors to get Iggi to learn how to swim but he just simply won't go into the water where his feet can't touch the ground and he can't keep his head out of the water. Yesterday, there was a break thru.. What started out as a day of play turned out to be a day to be remembered by both father and son.

The Phantom had brought junior to The Water Park at Jurong East (next to the Stadium). It was quite a cool place really... a great place for a family outing. For $2 per adult ($1 for kids), its real value for money for a full day of fun.

We started out at the slide rides that turned out to be an real adventure for father & son. We explored all the 3 levels of slides (the highest being 4 storeys high)... The rides are free but the floats for the rides cost $5 each (including a refundable $2 deposit.. so its really just $3 per float).. but the floats can be used thru-out the whole park and for the whole day too... so its quite worth it.

Then we went to the wave pool. Initially, we were rather disappointed coz there wasn't much excitment there. Just as we were about to move to the next attraction, the jets at the top of the man-made waterfall were turned on and water was splashed out at unsuspecting patrons around the whole area of the wave pool (some eating and some fully clothe.. hehehe)... It turned out that this is the signal for the start of the fun at the wave pool... Hordes of kids dashed into the pool to play with the "tidal" waves.. quite a thrill really..

After that, we took a ride on the "current canal" that provided a parameter tour of the Park. We hopped in with the same floats we hired for the rides and the "currents" simply carried us along the "canal" around the park with some water featured attractions along the way like a cave, a shower tunnel, etc.

There was a water playground for kids with mini water slides, swings and lots of stuff to climb all over.. This was a time for parents to take a break. Located within visible proximity, is the cafeteria where I took a coffee break while Iggi continued having fun.

When Iggi was done with the water playground, we went to do some serious swimming at the Olympic size pool. This was where Iggi chickened out. His legs could not touch the ground and he refused to get off the side of the pool. But somehow, after some coaxing from me, he trusted me when I reminded him on what I've taught him long before... that the best way to fight his fears was to face them... but before he took that bold step forward, he called out at me again, "dad, promise that you'd be there to catch me if I sink".. and I crossed my heart as a sign of assurance.
He swam towards me in strokes that I taught him.. popping his head in and out of the water to grasp air just as I taught him.. I lead him further by backing off and he swam towards me.. And before he knows it, he reached out for my hand and we were already on the other end of the pool.. I held on to him (as promised) and he clung close to my chest coz we were at a deep end and his legs could not touch the ground.. I pointed to the other end of the pool to show him and he giggled (still grasping his breath) and said... "I did it dad... I did it"...

We did another few laps on the breadth of the pool to build on the confidence that he had just acquired.. You could see that gleam on his face that how proud he was conquering something that he never thought that he'd be able to face.. I guess swimming lessons will never give him cold feet again from now on..

And as we sunk into the jacuzzi to end the day's fun, he gave me a peck on my cheek and said, "I love you, dad.. you're the best daddy any boy could have".. geez.. I tell you, that sure warms my heart..

hmm... come to think of it, The Water Park is quite an affordable place to have a whole day of fun for the family.. I mean for $2 per adult and $1 for a child??? I seriously wonder how they manage to cover the costs with such low fees they charge.. You should see the number of life guards and the amount of facilities they have there.. Either they are getting a lot of funds from the Sports Council, or these life-guards are volunteers...

I'm certainly going back again.. and the next time, I'd probably bring my nephews and nieces along.. erm... I'd try to get you guys some photos the next time... eh... so who says that Singapore doesn't have any cheap and nice places/theme parks to go???
(KPNN-Gossips)

Ask Phantom...

2003-07-02T22:44:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

After my article, "MP3s... Keeping CD Sound Quality" featured on "IT-torial" (June issue) on the ripping audio CD tracks to MP3s, I've got tonnes of emails asking more details on how to do it... I've also had lots of emails asking how to do video streaming on websites... hmm... didn't know I have that many web-designer friends or rather, I didn't know that there'd be so many people interested... hehehehe... OK then... for all novices that didn't understand what ripping is all about, this is what it is.

Those tracks on CDs are raw CDDA (CD Digital Audio) data. But before you can convert your favourite songs into MP3s, you must first convert this raw CDDA data into WAV files. This process is called RIPPING... I shall not try to explain the process of RIPPING as it is very technical and many of you here would be lost. Instead, I'll just give you a FREE ready-made software that will help you with the ripping. CLICK HERE to download "Jill, The Ripper"... This software is easy to use and it can convert CD tracks directly into MP3s (don't need to convert CDDA data to WAV files and from WAV files to MP3s)..

Hmmm... maybe I can set up a school and run short courses on Multi Media related topics... erm... nope... too costly... gotta have classrooms, furniture, computers, etc... let's see... run it online via interactive Video Conference??? on KPNN???... hahaha... ok for those business-minded people who thinks that this will work, I can help you realise this dream... Well, I've successfully made LIVE net-broadcasts of pool tournaments via the internet... so why not net-broadcast tutorials??? With lower costs, it will benefit eager-learning individuals to pick up such skills for peanuts... chow-on-it...
(KPNN-NewsDesk)

HDB Balloting Exercise - June 2003

2003-06-24T13:12:00.000+08:00

From 19 June 2003 to 9 July 2003, HDB is conducting their ballot for remaining flats in Mature Estates... and if you are:

- 1st Time Applicant AND
- Have Parents Staying In Same Estate,
your chances of getting the flat is twice that of any other applicants. You need not wait for years as these flats are already built and they're ready for occupation. I like those in the Bt Merah Estate (especially those opp Tiong Bahru MRT) and those in the Queenstown Estate (along Alexandra Rd)..

You now dun need to queue at the HDB and can submit your application online if you have the payment facility. If u dun have the payment facility I can arrange for u... You can also check the number of applications made so far for those flats that u're interested in so that u can gauge your chances of getting your flat.

For the prices and availability of the flats, CLICK HERE and from there, click the link marked "Flat Price, Supply & Demand"...

Its very rare that the HDB sells brand new flats in Mature Estates and surprisingly, there isn't much publicity this time around. So newly-wed couples.. grab your "dream home" now...

This news is specially brought to u by K.P.N.N. - your friendly Kay Poh News Network...
(KPNN-NewsDesk)

Queen of Hearts Thanks You...

2003-06-04T17:11:00.000+08:00

The Phantom's Queen of Hearts would like to say a big THANK YOU to all of you here. Thanks for all your emails, cards, prayers, well-wishes, gifts, etc. Her condition is once again under control. But she still refuses to undergo surgery and I fully understand why (if you don't understand what I'm talking about, please check my last update on the Archives here)...

We'll keep you guys posted here on KPNN...
(KPNN-NewsDesk)

The Queen's Heart

2003-05-12T18:54:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

Yes, I've been M.I.A. (missing in action) for a while... haven't been really partying... I've been rather bogged down... and for those of u needing my support, I'm sorry that I've neglected you... but that doesn't mean that I dun care... I hope you'd understand...

Anyway, thanks for all your well wishes on Carol's condition... Its nice to know that so many of you out there care... And thanks for all those who prayed for Carol in your daily prayers...
For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, here are some background info... Carol's heart failure is due to a past thyroid problem gone bad... Her allergy to a wide span of drugs had made treatment to her thyroid incomplete and, in certain ways, ineffective...

The thyroid problem had landed her in the hospital for a number of heart failures in the past... these past heart failures had since worn out her heart valves... And now, because of the leak in one of her valves, her heart has to pump extra... the leak is now at a critical stage (on the verge of tearing)... and surgery is strongly recommended... (for more infomation you can read abt the surgery on http://www.cts.usc.edu/hpg-heartvalvesurgery.html ... yea... I've been doing alotta reading on her case)....

However, due to her current conditions, undergoing such an extensive surgery is very complicated and has very high risks... According to the doctors, they can't guarantee that the surgery will be a success and her chances dying under the surgery is 50-50... They too would not recommend a surgery but like they said, "there are no other options"... To them, its a gamble... do it, u may die (but there's a chance that u'd make it)... don't do it, u will die (matter of time)... thus, they recommend the surgery...

But for Carol, she doesn't want to go for the surgery... Since there was no sure success in the surgery, she rather leave things as they are... she said she knows of many patients who died on the surgical table whom may had lived (instead) for a few years more if they hadn't gone for the surgery in the first place... Its really hard to disagree with her on this as I, too, know of people who bit the bitter end of the options when they tried to make a dash for a probable chance of survival over the failing valves but didn't make it... Its like she's caught between the devil and the deep blue sea... Take that chance, succeed and she may just be fine thereafter... Take that chance, fail and she's gone... Don't take that chance, she may have live for a while longer (or maybe a lot longer... who knows)... itz only a matter of time before it becomes "too late" for anything to be done...

Well, I'm not gonna try to influence her to have the surgery done even though I think that that's the best option... whatever her decision is, I'll be behind her... but damn... I just wished that it was someone else... I know its not right for me to say this but I can't help it... I'm no saint... I'm still human afterall...

I've always been able to pull myself over the hard times.. I've stayed strong... We'll still stay strong... we'll pray for the best and hope that we'll pull this thru together....
I'll keep you guys posted here on KPNN... Cheers. (KPNN-NewsDesk)

The Phantom Stand By You...

2003-05-05T20:21:00.000+08:00

Dear Frenz,

This page is specially dedicated to all my friends whom are experiencing some kind of crisis in their lives at this moment... I hate to see you like this (being down and out)... you know who you are and if this is of any consolation, I want you to know that I am with you... all the way... And this song below speaks my heart...

Hang in there my friends... Don't give up... not now... not ever... Remember, no storms last forever... the sun will shine again once the storm is over... Make your way ahead... step by step... inch by inch... And who knows??? The end of the tunnel may just be your next step forward... and when you finally pull down those walls of torment... those walls of depressions... I'll be there to greet you together with all those people who loves you...

As for now, I can only be your crutches... your pillar of support... but all these support won't mean a thing if you can't pull yourself together... If I could, I'd rather take your place coz I know I'll survive... Look at me... Take a good look at me... I did not give up so you shouldn't too... have faith in yourself... have faith in me... have faith in GOD... HE really exists... you may not see HIM but HE's there... watching every step you take... catching you when you fall...

Don't you keep your head down... you hear me??? Keep moving... Give me back the YOU that I used to know... the ones whom had always told me to fight on no matter what... the ones whom had always told me to wear THAT SMILE no matter how much I sweat or bleed... the ones I love so much... I've done all that you had asked of me then and more.... Now, its your turn... I love you guys... So don't you give up on me right now... YOU HEAR ME??? DON'T YOU TURN YOUR BACKS ON ME NOW... I want to see you at the end of the tunnel and you better make it there...

Love,
Your Pal,
The PhAnToM,
GhOsTrYdEr Club, KPNN
(Kay Poh News Network)

PS: Below is the lyrics of that song that speaks my heart. CLICK HERE to listen to it.

Song Title: I'll Stand By You
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now.

Don't be ashamed to cry,
let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.

When the night falls on you,
you don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess could make me love you less

I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.

So, if you're mad... get mad,
don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.

Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well, I'm alot like you.

You're standing at the crossroads,
don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along, cause even if your wrong

I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.

Take me into your darkest hour,
and I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.

And when, when the night falls on you baby,
you're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own,

I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by you.won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you.

Take me in into your darkest hour and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you (repeat till fade)...

Tribute to STOPOVER...

2003-04-01T15:04:00.000+08:00

Some time ago, I sent out an SOS signal for a friend whom had been jobless for more than 6 months.. I’m overwhelmed with the number of responses that came from you guys here.. Your gestures in lifting a hand to help my friend, who’s a total stranger to you, simply warms my heart.. Now I know that I’ve got so many nice friends out here that I can count on.. On behalf of my pal, I’d like to thank all of you whom had heeded to my SOS call.. THANK YOU..

Now.. its coming five years since KPNN was first launched and though STOP-OVER had been closed for more than 2 yrs now, KPNN is still bringing you the most happening news for the night-life.. the thing that kept me motivated to get this site going is none other than all of you guys here.. You’ve been terrific readers..

Judging from the visitors counter (almost 40,000), I can see that this site is rather popular to a very small community of Imps & Phantoms.. And from the amount of mails I get from every update, I'm glad that KPNN had made it as one of your regular reading sites.. I’m happy to know (from your emails) that most of you felt inspired by the real accounts of the PhAnToM.. many I know even cried (geez, I’m touched).. Also, many had been thrilled by the jokes & toons that you get in our email news broadcasts from time to time.. and some had even found my "Wine & Dine" Section a treat…

With such response, I’m motivated to keep this site alive (with or without STOP- OVER).. Yep.. Stop-Over is long gone and now only its legend lives on in the hearts of all its Imps & Phantoms.. and yes (if you really must know).. I really miss those days.. But it had been a place that brought all of us together and it was like a living room affair for many of us.. For many of us here, it was like second home.. For those who knows Stop-Over, they would had related well, the joy & laughter that it brought to us all.. For those whom had not witness the magic of Stop-Over, they could only read about its legend.. I dunno about the rest of you here.. but I had a great time at Stop-Over.. and more so to see it going down as a legend, with so many of you here still so supportive over it.. THANK YOU..

Now, I’d like to answer the 3 most FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions) about Stop-Over since it closed..

QN 1: When will Stop-Over make a come-back?
That will depends when will the Phantom have enough money to stage a come-back. As you know, the Phantom is still recovering from the financial wounds of the closing of STOP-OVER.

QN 2: What happened to Stop-Over’s Pool Team and the rest?
Ever since Stop-Over closed, the pool team had been disbanded. Just some updates on some of them. A few of the players had since been seeded.. Heard that Kelvin did pretty well in 2001's 8-Ball & 9-Ball Tourneys and was seeded..

Ting too had been seeded (the last I heard.. No. 7).. rumours of her having retired are somewhat true as she plays less often these days.. and yes, she still hangs out with Anni.. and yes again... she’s still single and available.. she now hangs out at Roomful of Blues and very occasionally, Eastside..

Fabian is still sharking around but around the Serangoon Gdn area so avoid that place if you don’t wanna be sharked.. and yes, Fabian is still with Jolene.

Led?? He’s missing in action.. the last I heard from him was last year’s Chinese New Year.. some said he went to look for a bride in China and others said that he had been struck with a medical catastrophe.. but when I last heard from him, he was a bit down (physically & emotionally).. but I can’t confirm if the liver cancer rumour is true..

As for Jimmy, he had retired from the pool scene.. his heatlh is deterriorating and he no longer parties but still drinks at home..

Stephen & Jess had been divorced and for those who know about their story, yes.. it was a bitter divorce.. Jess had gone back to Taiwan but no news from Stephen if he’s still in Singapore or has he gone back to Malaysia..

Richard?? Well.. he went thru quite a lot after the accident that he had.. he’s now a changed man and certainly more spiritually motivated now.. he had finally found God’s grace and his life had taken a positive turn.. he now hangs out at Cherries at Upper Thomson Road..

As for Ben (whom had only been with us for one season), he is divorced as well.. El left for NZ with his kids.. but his life is taking shape again.. he hangs out at Eastside (yeah.. I bump into him quite often).. and so much for the pool team..

As for the rest, Peter Bontoi is now back at Il Piccolo at Crown Plaza.. The Landlord was desperate and offerred him quite a good deal to go back.. So if you've been dying for his pizzas and pastas, you can get them at the same old place now..

The three musketeers (Joe, Gordon & Jin).. haven't heard much from them.. All we know is, Gordon had broken off with Jean (Stop-Over's waitress) and he's now attached.. with whom and the details?? erm... you go ask him yourself.. don't want him to get angry with me again for being KP.. Jin is still in Australia studying.. and I have nothing on Joe..

The Chor-Dai-Di Clan?? Well, Derek had vanished.. Lionel left Auric and the last I heard, he was with a coffee supplier.. and yes, he's still with Irene.. Daniel, after his heart failure, he drinks less these days.. he now hangs out at Hasta la Vista near World Trade Centre.. Kay Man (the made in America guy), well.. the last I heard, he went thru a very rough patch with his family.. not much from him since..

Keat is in a bad shape.. his business failed and he lost his driving licence to drink driving.. but amidst all the misfortunes, something magical came out from it.. For one, his relationship with Jacqueline improved a great deal.. Jac's wonderful woman.. she stuck thru Keat's darkest moments and she changed Keat.. Keat no longer indulges in KTVs anymore.. still drinks but mellowed down a great deal.. can also see that he's more family orientated these days.. seldom stay out late anymore..

Dominic married Grace (finally).. he's now running his own business as well.. Debao also got married.. Fox is still hanging loose along with Tay.. Jason will soon be a father again.. and all of them occasionally hang out at Siam Supper Club.. John is the only odd one out.. he's a family man now (proud father of 2 oredi)..

QN 3: Whatever happened to those singers whom had performed at Stop-Over?
Chelsea Gibson.. After her stint at Stop-Over, she went back to Perth. There, she auditioned to host a variety show for a local TV station.. she got it and hosted a weekly variety show… Then she participated in the BARDOT talent search and made it all the way to the semi-finals.

Nick Kreig.. After performing at Stop-Over, he went back to Adelaide where he formed his own band (The Pipsters).. He wrote a few new songs but unfortunately, they didn’t really make it very big.. The last I heard, he went solo again and performed on a cruise ship..

Max Surin.. After his tour at Stop-Over, he teamed up with Rina (if you remember, our “sexy, dancing waitress”??).. Rina’s singing improved by leaps and bounds under Max’s guidance and had performed at Westin Stamford, Landmark Hotel and the last place I heard, Pinetree Club..
David.. He’s now playing at Paulaner Brahaus but will be soon be forming a band to play at Hard Rock Café.

Well, that was STOPOVER... the only haven for phantoms... truly a LEGEND....
(KPNN-Gossips)

Touching Story of Phantom's Reconciliation with his DAD

2003-01-21T21:43:00.001+08:00

Everyone who knows me would know that I don't see eye to eye with my dad. Probably because we are both Tauruses - born stubborn... We don't seem to have anything to say to each other and each time when we do talk, we'd end up fighting with each other. We had so much bad blood that we had to live apart since I was 16. I left home and had never spoke to him since.

I had been thru a lot in life... had to take 5 yrs to graduate from high school (normal people only took 4)... had 3 failed marriages... failed in my business... became a bankrupt... lost custody of Iggi... almost died under the surgical knife twice... etc...

Each time I fell, I would get hell from my dad... instead of encouragement, he would scold me... he never had faith in me at all... for everything that went wrong it was always "MY FAULT" even though it wasn't... his favourite phrase would be, "see... there you are... I told you... you'd never get anything right"....

My impression of my dad was nothing more than a negative asshole that condemns me for everything that I do... one that is prejudice against me and had never seen the finer side of me... in fact, we are so distant that there was a time where his face faded from my memory... I can no longer put a face to him in my head any more...

I spent my whole life (well, almost...) hating him... hated him for the way he treated me... hated him for the way does things around the house... hated him for favouring my other siblings more than me...

It wasn't until the last few years that things got better between us... but even then, we didn't really talk much... I was already a father and I finally got to know how difficult it is being a father... the responsibility it entails... how small I felt when I failed in my fight for the custody of my son... I finally realized how painful it must had been when I yelled at my dad in the past... those words (coming from a son) must had hurt him so deeply then...

We were very poor then and I must admit that my dad really had to slog to bring us up as a sole breadwinner... he didn't give us much but he gave us all that he had... yes, I knew that all these while but I was just so blinded by hatred that I only saw his love as his duty... I vividly remembers him quietly mending his socks in the middle of the night (away from my mom and all of us... he and his silly pride)... he rather let us have the money for the family than for himself... this flashed back when my business failed and that I had to take on odd jobs (odds and ends) to bring home money... there was no time for pride... I took on any extra job that was available (even as a delivery driver)... all that, just to bring that extra buck home... there were times where I didn't even have enough for me to eat but yet I gave whatever I had to my family... that feeling of not being able to provide for the ones we love was like a dagger stabbed right into your heart...

On one stormy Good Friday afternoon, I was feeling very down... my ex-wife abandoned me... my business failed... I lost everything that I had worked for in my entire life (my house and all) and I had creditors hounding me like a hound dog... my self esteem was rock bottom and the shame hurts like hell... I can't bring myself to face anyone... it was all a solitary fight... just me against the world... I walked into a church feeling lost and helpless... its a shame how we only turn to God only when we are down and soon forget Him the minute we are up and running...

It was then that I truly realize how great a father's love can be... just as how God is ever-ready to greet us with open arms... my dad is... despite his thundering hands that rained blows on me in the past... that same very hand held me up when I fell... my dad wasn't a very expressive person... he doesn't speak much... but I felt his love (for the first time) when he came up to me after my house was seized and said, "you can move in with us if you want"... but my pride got the better of me... I'd rather rent a place and paid thru my nose than to accept his offer...

Now, as I sit by his bedside in the quite hours of the night while he sleeps (he's in his final chapters of his life... he has a failing heart), I felt the need to tell him that I love him... for 39 yrs, I've never hugged him or told him that I loved him... I wanna do that before its too late... but its not so simple... each time, those words choked at my throat and refused to come out... but it finally did... I called him a few minutes ago (from out of the blue)... and said, "Dad, I just wanna tell you that I know how much you had sacrificed for us when we were young... I may not had showed it in the past but that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate what you did for us. What I want to say is... is... I love you, dad... I'm proud of all those values that you had imparted to us... the very same values that I'm holding onto now in my times of crisis... and I wanna say this before its too late... I wanna tell you that I'd be home for dinner on this new year's eve"...

He cried after hearing that... and all he said was, "that was the most beautiful thing you had ever said to me for all these years, son"...

Thanks for listening even though I know that this is nothing but a load of crap and had nothing to do with you... but I hope that if, you (like me) had someone that you wished to (or had to) be reconciled with... brace yourself and do it... its not easy but do it... before its too late... I'm glad I did... and Ting, thanks for talking me into doing it... It's really a break through...
(KPNN-Gossips)

PS:
Below are the lyrics of a song that best describes my feelings right now... Click Here to listen and to sing along...

The Last Song
Yesterday you came to lift me up
As light as straw and brittle as a bird
Today I weigh less than a shadow on the wall
Just one more whisper of a voice unheard

Tomorrow leave the windows open
As fear grows please hold me in your arms
Won't you help me if you can to shake this anger?
I need your gentle hands to keep me calm

CHORUS:
'Cause I never thought I'd lose
I only thought I'd win
I never dreamed I'd feel
This fire beneath my skin
I can't believe you love me
I never thought you'd come
I guess I misjudged love
Between a father and his son

Things we never said come together
The hidden truth no longer haunting me
Tonight we touched on the things that were never spoken
That kind of understanding sets me free
(Repeat CHORUS)

New Year, New Phantom

2003-01-06T21:36:00.000+08:00

Year 2002 ended pretty badly... the year 2002 saw Phantom officially declared a bankrupt... he lost all his assets... the recent news from his boss on a 10% pay-cut for the Phantom & only a half month bonus pay-out... was another blow to him... but biggest blow to the Phantom was the custody case on Iggi...

The Court awarded the custody of Iggi to Charon in the most unfair manner... The Phantom was hit below the belt.. The Phantom had written to the Court for the case to be adjourned for two weeks... the Court replied that he's gotta get the consent from Charon for the adjournment... The Phantom called Charon and she said ok... The Phantom then wrote to the Court confirming this... There was no further correspondences from the Court so anybody would assume that the case would be adjourned...

However, on the underhand advice of her lawyer... Charon showed up on the date of the trial and seek that judgement be passed... as the Phantom was not present to defend the case and Charon lied thru her teeth to deny that she had agreed to have the case adjourned... the Judge awarded Charon with sole-custody of the child...

The Phantom cried "FOUL" and wrote to the Court but the Court could not be bothered... all they said was, "If you not happy, you appeal lor"... This is sheer INJUSTICE... The Phantom will seek re-dress but he knows that chances for the judgment to be reversed isn't very optimistic...
Charon is making the Phantom's life very sore... she's not granting him any access to Iggi at all... To rub salt into his wound, she would get Iggi to call him and then she would taunt him with all sorts of insults... she would provoke him till he loses his cool on the phone and then she would use a recording device to record him him scolding her to supported her case that he's an abusive man...

Well, Charon can taunt whatever she wants now because the Phantom made a resolution that he will stick by what he had always been teaching Iggi... that "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but WORDS can't hurt me" (unquote)... and neither will he seek vengence... in his own words, "She'll pay for it someday... somehow... why dirty my hands" (unquote)...

For now, the Phantom will just count his blessings and be happy with whatever that he's left with... Sure, it hurts... but he had gotten used to it by now... he had learnt that in life, there'd always be unlevel paths that he must take... he'll just have to count his blessings rather than his misfortunes...
(KPNN-Gossips)

My Best Friend, Ting...

2002-12-04T03:44:00.001+08:00

Today's post is specially dedicated to TING... my best friend... She's the Wind Beneath My Wings... It wasn't easy building a friendship that's strictly platonic. But we stood firm even when the whole world doubted... She had been my pillar of strength when my whole world crumbled around me... she stood by me despite all those things that were said about us... and we really survived trying times that had threatened our platonic friendship time and again... Thank you Ting, for being such a special friend.... The song below is specially selected for you...

Wind Beneath My Wings...
It must have been cold there in my shadow
To never have sunlight on your face
You were content to let me shine, that's your way
You always walked a step behind

So I was the one with all the glory
While you were the one with all the strain
A beautiful face without a name for so long
A beautiful smile to hide the pain

Did you ever know that you're my hero
And everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings

It might have appeared to go unnoticed
But I've got it all here in my heart
I want you to know I know the truth
Of course I know it
I would be nothing without you

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be
I could fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings'
Cause you are the wind beneath my wings

PS:

For photos of Ting, you can go to my Photo Gallery here or click on her photo to go to Ting's blog.

X'mas 2002...

2002-11-26T14:33:00.000+08:00

The Phantom and his imps celebrated X'mas at Eastside on 23 Dec 2002. These are some of the shots for that gathering and we had great fun. There are lots more photos but I've yet had the time to upload them... patient ok?... patient... Go to KPNN's Photo Gallery to see photos...
(KPNN - Gossips)

Strength & Courage

2002-11-20T22:50:00.001+08:00

Dear frenz...

Yes... its that time of the year again and I don't know if its me or has this year's Christmas come earlier than usual... everywhere I go I see Christmas decorations... But sadly, I don't seem to feel the Christmas mood... Perhaps, the poor economy is wearing all of us down...

Nonetheless, I am determined to have a great Christmas as usual... Christmas is about giving and sharing... so as I count the number of days left before Christmas and plan my itinerary of how I intend to spend my season holiday, I thought of all of you guys...

This year saw a fair share of its trying times for me... I've sort of seen the tail end of all my problems and miseries... I'm proud that I've coped well and struggled thru the (probably) most difficult times of my life. And now as I lick my wounds of struggle, I just can't help but feel that I'm lucky to have you guys nudging me on each time I stopped fighting... Its all these pushing from you guys that kept me going and I want to thank you for that...

As for now, the storm is over... still a little drizzle but its nothing that I can't cope... I mean, after the storm, this should be nothing...

And as I lay my head to bed, I thought of a prayer and I'd like to say it here for all of you...There are two things that I'm praying for all of you today... they're strength & courage...

It takes strength to be certain, It takes courage to have doubts.
It takes strength to fit in, It takes courage to stand out.
It takes strength to feel a friend's pain, It takes courage to feel your own pain.
It takes strength to hide your own pains, It takes courage to show them.
It takes strength to stand guard, It takes courage to let down your guard.
It takes strength to conquer, It takes courage to surrender.
It takes strength to endure abuses, It takes courage to stop them.
It takes strength to stand alone, It takes courage to lean on a friend.
It takes strength to love, It takes courage to be loved.
It takes strength to survive, It takes courage to live.

Whether you feel you have either or both, let me send you a big hug right now that's full of warmth, friendship and love... And may this hug carry a message that there is a friend for you sitting at another corner of the world... Wishing you the best ever!!!
AMEN.(KPNN-Gossips)

Phantom's House-Hunt

2002-10-10T19:39:00.000+08:00

So the Phantom had found his Queen of Hearts... and the story does not end here with a "they lived happily ever after" ending... In fact, there's more Kay Poh news that we can dig up... After all, what's KPNN without news of the Phantom?

It was reported that the Phantom & his Queen of Hearts had been seen hunting... hunting for a house that is... erm... dun open your mouth so wide lah... u shouldn't be so shock any more... I mean, if the Phantom can propose to his Queen of Hearts in juz 6 days of courtship... what else can shock u? Besides, Phantom had been house hunting for a while now... but had not been successful...

And it appears that they have narrowed down their hunt to juz Stirling Road & Jalan Bahagia... These are the only locations in the entire Singapore that u can find a small terrace house with a front porch and a backyard... And the best part of it, is that these terrace houses are classified as HDB 3-rm flats... that not only makes it 'singles eligible' (erm... dun forget, the Phantom's Decree Nisi is not made Absolute yet coz he's still fighting Iggi's custody) but it has low conservancy fees as well... and whenever the government announce any tax reliefs u get the most coz its a 3-rm flat...

These houses, though old, they are very spacious, very private and they indeed possess a lot of charm & character to make it an ideal habitat for the Phantom... but they don't come with a cheap price tag though... the average price for each unit is around $400K which is slightly above the Phantom's budget of $350K...

So far they've seen one house at Stirling Rd and four at Jalan Bahagia... They liked the one at Stirling Road because the layout of the houses there are not as congested as those at Jalan Bahagia... but its a little over-priced (asking $50K above the valuation while the rest are only around $10K above valuation)... so if you know of anyone who has a place like that, let the Phantom know...

Once they've found & secure their dream home, we'll feature their wish list here so that you guys know what they need when you guys shop for their house-warming gifts... And in our next issue, KPNN's coverage will be on the BIG EVENT... "The Wedding of the Phantom & the Queen of Hearts"... so stay tuned...Cheers...
(KPNN-Gossips)

Queen of Hearts say, "I DO"....

2002-09-30T20:37:00.000+08:00

Hi Frenz...

Our paparazzis had been hot on the Phantom's heels since Friday, 13th September 2002... and we are committed to give you guys the exclusive latest developments of the phantom's love life... To the many of you that had yet gotten over from the shock that the Phantom had finally opened up his heart again, you'd probably flip when you hear what we're about to report on...
Here's what we've gathered from our snooping around and here's what we've jotted down on our notes...

Friday, 26 April 2002:
The phantom's birthday... his imps threw a celebration at Siam Supper Club and that was the day, that he first met his Queen of Hearts... introduced by his friend, Mike (the violinist from SSO) at Eastside... Thereafter, they met a few other times but nothing had yet sparked off from there then. They were just "hi & bye" kinda friends with both not having much impression of each other...

Friday, 13 Sep 2002:
On this fateful night, the Phantom was alone at Eastside and so was his Queen of Hearts... the Phantom thought he saw a familiar face and so did she... their line of sight was obstructed and so both the Phantom and his Queen of Hearts were frantically popping their heads to try to catch a better glimpse of each other's familiar face... Then when they finally caught a full-face view of each other, they both pointed their index fingers at each other and greeted each other...
Then they spent the whole nite chatting with each other. That was when, the both of them discovered that they really shared a lot in common... It's like two strangers suddenly became best of pals... like they've known each other for ages...

After that night, they went separate ways but kept a very close contact over the phone... sometimes they talked longer than 5 hours on the phone... they shared and discovered more of each other and developed a very strong bond between them as if they've known each other from their previous lives...

Wednesday, 18 Sep 2002:
Eastside's Steak and Wedges Nite... This was their first "date" as in, this was their first pre-arranged visit to Eastside together and this sent tongues wagging... By then, the Phantom and his Queen of Hearts had grown very comfortable with each others' company...

Thursday, 19 Sep 2002:
They met again at Eastside but the Phantom was with his imps and the Queen of Hearts was with her knights... but after the party was over, and in the twilight hours, they resume their nightly rendevous on the telephone lines...

That was when they exchanged that they were very fond of each other... Naturally, the next question was, should they give this a shot?? The Phantom was indecisive... No concrete decision was concluded as yet...

Saturday, 21 Sep 2002:
After much consideration, the Phantom eventually agreed to come down from his riding on fences to give love another go... The Phantom then made headlines by openly declaring that he's getting attached...

Thereafter, apart from outings that they had together, the both of them had been seen together at the void deck of the Queen of Hearts every nite till the twilight fades into pre-dawn...

Friday, 27 Sep 2002:
The day that the Phantom rocked Eastside... The Phantom bought a ring, went to the DJ console and asked his Queen of Hearts (in the presence of everyone in the house) if she'd marry him... Eastside erupted... and the Phantom went down on bent knees to present the token of his love for acceptance...

The Queen of Hearts broke into tears and was speechless... she could not even say "Yes, I will"... all she could do was to extend her hand in consent for the Phantom to slip the ring onto her finger... and Eastside erupted again...

That night, there were many happy faces but there were a few sad ones too... the proposal sent a few contending beaus for the Queen of Hearts in shattering heart-breaks while those whom had waited for the Phantom's icy cold heart to melt, broke down in tears...

Answers to FAQs:
QTN: Who's the Queen of Hearts?
ANS: Carol Eliza Chong

QTN: How old is she?
ANS: Born in the year 1976, she's 26 years old.

QTN: Do we have a photo of her?
ANS: Well, we've been ordered to have a media blackout, so no photos as yet. But we'll post her once we're cleared to do so.. She is said to have a striking resemblance of the sultry Hsu Qi (hmm... wonder if our KPNN feature of Hsu Qi had something to do with the Phantom's choice).

QTN: Have they got physical?
ANS: erm... as of the day that the Phantom proposed, they've yet consumated anything physical yet.

QTN: When will the wedding bells ring?
ANS: As we know, the Phantom's custody for his boy is yet over so.. till that issue is resolved, the bells ain't ringing yet.. but it'd be soon..

QTN: What do they have in common?
ANS: Well, she works near the Phantom (juz 1 train stop away)... lives near the Phantom (juz a stone's throw away)... they are both born in the year of the dragon (Phantom is 12 yrs older)... they both like red meat... they are both Catholics... they think alike (u'd find that when u ask the Phantom a question and she'd answer it in phantom's words)...

QTN: What have their families have to say about their relationship?
ANS: Frankly, both their parents dunno about it yet, though the Queen of Hearts' mother had more or less guessed.. But the Phantom's brother was shocked beyond words... The Phantom's boy is very fond of her and his ex-in-laws (who are taking care of the boy at this moment) had given the Phantom their blessings (weird)...

QTN: What the Phantom and his Queen of Hearts has to say about each other's past relationships (marriages, in the Phantom's case)?
ANS: Well, they are very open and honest about it and they both felt that they've both accepted each other's past... they will stand by each other for the present... and they see a future together...

QTN: What are their plans from here?ANS: erm... to get married at the soonest possible time, of coz... the Phantom is looking to buy a place and the Queen of Hearts will probably move in with him... Mike would be the Phantom's bestman and we would be looking forward to a church wedding...

Well, so much for now... stay tuned for more updates... at the rate these love birds are going, God know what other surprises can they pull on us... Meanwhile, KPNN will continue to update you guys on any latest news... Cheers...
(KPNN-Gossips)

The Phantom is DESPERADO no more...

2002-09-21T23:02:00.000+08:00

Backed by popular requests, KPNN did an exclusive coverage on the Phantom's update recently and here it is.

The Phantom's fight for the custody of his Junior is now in its final and crucial stages... The Judgment is expected to be somewhere end October. Just days ago, the welfare officers suggested that they may favour recommending custody of the child to his ex-wife... they favour her as a more suitable care-giver coz she's the natural mother of the child and coz she would be a full-time care-giver as compared to the Phantom whom needs to work, thus, leaving the care-giving to his mother-in-law (yes, his in-laws are still on his side)...

It would be another hard blow for the Phantom should he loses the custody of Junior... The Phantom will be giving his last burst of fire... he'd be putting all his chips on the table for a show-hand... For the Phantom (he's not being demanding), he'd be happy just to get a Joint-Custody (she can have the care & control), liberal access to the child and most importantly, that the child remain within the jurisdiction of Singapore...

Next... have you ever wondered why does the Phantom shut his heart out from those that wanna give their love to him? Have you ever wonder why he had never been ready to accept anyone whom had been knocking at his door? Just as the song, "Desperado", the Phantom had been waiting for his "Queen of Diamonds" for far too long... and now, lately, his "Queen of Hearts" had just showed up...

Well, the Phantom has decided to come down from his fences to open up the gate to his heart... he's gonna let someone love him before its too late... After offering his heart out on a platter over and over again, this time he's finally gonna let someone have the chance to love him instead...
But even then, we all know the Phantom too well... so, as much as he's letting down his fences... he would not had opened his heart if he didn't think that this "someone's" love was worth a chance... he would never 'play' with her feelings otherwise... if he hadn't felt that he could open up and try to love her... he won't let her have the chance... While he had yet accepted her love... but it was a good start anyway (if you know what I mean)...

The Phantom's heart had always been a 'restricted' & sacred area to the many that came knocking at its door but got turned away coz his heart had been filled with his love for the many that did not reciprocate and had been hurt many times, over and over again... This 'Queen of Hearts' had touched the Phantom with her sincerity and unconditional affection... Like the Phantom, she'd give a pound of love for every ounce that she receives... she'd rather choose to love than be loved... It would definitely be a match that we'll all be looking forward to witness... but hush... we promised to withhold her identity till the Phantom is ready to make his official announcement...
(KPNN-Gossips)

Inspirational Story - Phantom's Rocks...

2002-08-29T13:48:00.000+08:00

Hi Frenz...

Recently, a friend of mine joins the club of bankrupts after his computer business failed... I was at his shop helping him to clear his stuff out from the premises, as the landlord would be repossessing the premises soon...

He had this built-in fish tank there, that saw a fine collection of marine rocks, pebbles and sand that he wanted to keep... so, we started packing them...

While we were at it, the look on his face reminded me of the day before The Stop-Over Pub closed... that empty feeling of having everyone deserting you.... the hurt of losing everything that you had slogged for... it was like deja vu... I could feel what he was feeling... it isn't something that anyone could understand or empathize...

I was thinking real hard as how to comfort him. I thought of a story that I've heard long before and picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar. I started filling it with the marine rocks. After filling it to the brim, I asked him if the jar was full and he nodded expressionlessly to agree that it was.

Then, I picked up the pebbles and poured them into the same jar with the rocks, shook the jar lightly and the pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. I winked and then asked him again if the jar was full now. He laughed and agreed that it was again.

Then I scooped up the sand and poured it into that same jar. Of course again, the fine sand filled up everything else. Finally, I took two mugs of water, poured it in and it soaked up the sand till nothing can fit in anymore...

"Now," I said to him, "the jar is fully filled and do you know what this represents?"... he shook his head.... I told him that the jar represents his life... The rocks are the important things... family, wife, health, children - anything that is so important to him that if it were lost, he would be nearly destroyed...

The pebbles are the other things that enriches his life.... like his career, his house, his car - all the things that he slogged for...

The sand is everything else... all the small stuffs (like the expensive grandfather's clock collecting dust there) that are nice to have but really.. quite insignificant in our lives....

Then I told him that if he put the sand into the jar first, there would be no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for his life... If he spends all his energy and time to focus on the small stuffs, he would never have room for the things that are more important to him...

So.... I told him that though he had failed terribly in his business, he shouldn't take it so hard... that he should stay focus on the 'bigger' things in his life and build on them instead... He should pay attention to the things that are critical to his happiness....

I continued by telling him, "Go... Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your wife out dancing. Make love. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, attend a meeting, play pool, etc.... Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.... they are just like the icing on the cake that looks nice but adds little to the taste... but there are many who pay so much attention and they search all over for the right icing they wanna buy, that they forgot about the basic ingredients that makes the cake"...

Yes, he may be soon a bankrupt... but as long as he doesn't lose himself... as long as he still has the rocks of his life, he's still a wealthy man in many aspects... its how he views "wealth"...

Having said that, he gave me a big hug and with teary eyes he said, "Buddy, you're damn right... Now I can understand how you pulled thru all those crisis in your life"... then he looked at me again in a puzzled manner and asked... "But... what's with the water then?"...

I replied... "Ah... that's to show that no matter what happens, there always room for a beer or two"... and we both chuckled again....

Well, for all you guys out there whom are going thru a rough patch, hang in there... no storms last forever... the sun will come out sooner or later and we can all come out to play once again after that...
(KPNN-Gossips)

Phantom Looking For A New Habitat...

2002-08-24T01:29:00.000+08:00

Hi Frenz...

The Phantom is now looking for a new habitat (yes, again.. his present lease running out soon)... What will he be looking at? Well, the Phantom plans to buy an apartment as that would make more sense than renting one... The place that he's looking for could be one of those old, small HDB walk-up apartments around Tiong Bahru or maybe one of those old 2-storey, 'singles-eligible' HDB terraces at Balestier or Stirling that is not more than $350K... HDB coz he's a bankrupt now (was officially declared a bankrupt on 16 Aug 2002) and the only means of owning a place is thru his CPF (and yes, he's got quite a sum in there)...

His new domain would not be anything lavish but something cozy and functional with some basic luxuries... The decor would spell rustic and at the same time trendy... Older apartments would usually offer higher ceilings that would really make floor to ceiling windows exceptionally charming... If it has a balcony, it would be nice. But if not, it won't hurt either... The floors could be wood or marble... The wall colours would make the place bright so he's likely stick to white or beige... Likewise for the kitchen & bathroom tiles...

The Phantom appreciates an open concept... much like the "enclosure-free" kinda bachelor lofts in Boston... Apart from the bathrooms & perhaps the bedroom that may be enclosed, the rest of the apartment may not have walls dividing... he wouldn't even mind not having walls for his bedroom... afterall, he is staying alone... So, if there's a place like that available, he would be very keen...

There wouldn't be much display items or furniture as they would only cloud the openness... but the main reason is coz, he dun have much cash for all these... His buddies will be helping out with the renovation costs but he's keeping everything simple...

He is also very intimate with his sense of scents... Thus, you'd probably find potpourris of dried flowers & aroma-therapy oils all over the loft...

The Phantom's sanctuary within his domain is his bathroom... not that he spend an awful amount of his time there, but he just has a soft spot for a bright and squeaky clean bathroom with scents of potpourri of dried flowers throughout... There'd be a frameless glass shower screen (courtesy from Richard, his 1st ex-wife, Pauline's cousin) and he is even contemplating to put a jacuzzi bath in there (looking for sponsors... *wink*...)

His other place of nesting is his bedroom. He adores a Kingsize bed with well-washed and pressed linen... he loves the feeling of having skin-contact with the linen... so sexy rite? ... *wink* ... He would also have soft lightings... (cheaper also mah)... burning scented aroma-therapy oils... full-length drapes in satin and lace... and... a good acoustic hi-fi that will certainly make his bedroom a dreamland...

So let's wish him luck in his finding his new habitat... You can be sure that his domain is gonna match his personality... chic, cool and classy... Stay tuned for more updates ...
(KPNN-Gossips)

Phantom & Desperado...

2002-08-05T18:59:00.000+08:00

Hi Frenz...

Last nite, I got a little bored and a little restless... so I took a walk... I had a stroll thru Botanic Gardens and then out to Bukit Timah Road... as I passed Crown Centre where STOPOVER used to be... it sure brought back some memories... some very good ones and some painful ones too... for it was the birth of that place that used to be the signature of my glorious days and at the same time, along with the closure of it, my life fell apart...

Being already in a fairly dampened state, I can't help feeling low... I walked on... down King's Road and then thru Coronation Road West... and before I know it... I ended up at Holland Village... Determined not to get to bed with this foul mood, I popped into Wala Wala for a beer... sat at the bar... said "hi" to a few familiar faces and began to down my pitcher of beer...

Then I heard the introduction tune of the song, 'Desperado' and when song started, I sub- conciously sang along... the lyrics were just too familiar as it used to be one of my favourite songs... But at the end of the of the song, I was choking back on my tears... why?? well, here are the lyrics... CLICK HERE to listen to the song and sing along if you like...

Song Title: Desperado (by The Eagles)

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You've been out riding fences... for so long now.
Oh, you're a hard one.. but I know that you've got your reasons.
These things that are pleasing you, will hurt you somehow.

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy she'll beat you if she's able.
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet.
Now it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table
but you only want the ones that you can't get.

Desperado, oh you ain't gettin' no younger.
Your pain and your hunger they're drivin' you home,
and freedom... oh freedom, well, that's just some people talkin'.
Your prison is walkin' through this world alone.

Don't your feet get cold in the wintertime?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine.
It's hard to tell the night time from the day.
You're losin' all your highs and lows,
ain't it funny how the feelin' goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences and open the gate.
It may be rainin' but there's a rainbow above you.
You better let somebody love you, let somebody love you.
You better let somebody love you before it's too late.
*********************************************************

Geez... I tell you guys... I knew those lyrics all these years... but they didn't struck me until last nite... and you know what?? When I left Wala Wala, I had the feeling of being re-born... I sure wanna move on from now... and for all you souls out there who had been sitting and waiting (for the rite job... the rite one... the rite whatever)... you should move on too... just as 'Desperado'... its not too late...
(KPNN-Gossips)

KPNN Gossips - Phantom's Love Life Updates

2002-07-12T15:53:00.000+08:00

Hi Frenz...

Itz been a while since you guys got any updates on the Phantom's personal life... (love life, rather)... Well, here its is....

hmmm... where shall I start?... OK.. the Phantom's ex-wife (erm.. which one? Charon lah) is back in Singapore... they'll be having their custody case (for iggi) mentioned in end July... and as usual, she's making the Phantom's life HELL... honestly, I really can't see how the Phantom could had married a woman like her in the first place... I mean, even her own parents are testifying against her in favour of the Phantom... so, what else can I say...

What about the two reported loves that the Phantom had after Charon dumped the Phantom?? Well, the Angel had slowly eroded away.. they are hardly in contact anymore except for courtesy calls from time to time...

As for the Owl... erm... many would had assume that their break-up never really existed coz they are still (till today) hanging out together... but the fact remains that they are no longer an item... in fact, they NEVER were... it was under very confused circumstances that they found each other... at that time, the Phantom was mourning for his lost Angel while the Owl was on the verge of breaking up with her mate... so, in finding solace in each other and being each other's companion in times like those, it would certainly spark off some very confused feelings... but it is now for sure that those feelings were nothing more than a pure & genuine friendship (at least for now)... and you guys shouldn't read too deeply into their constant hanging out together... both the Owl & the Phantom are still very much SINGLE & AVAILABLE...

So whom had the Phantom been seeing these days??? Well, your guess is as good as mine... but let's juz try to single out all the possible suitors.... let's see...

- The Secret Admirer (the Phantom's 'LITTLE SISTER' whom had a crush on him since 1994)?
- The Seductress (the one that was teasing the Phantom on the dance floor of Siam)?
- The Boomerang (his ex-gf that recently came back from overseas)?
- The Long Kiss Goodnight (the one that had the longest single kiss with the Phantom that we ever witnessed)?. OR
- The Silent Killer (the Phantom's self-confessed 'Dream-Girl') ?

Well, before all your speculations run wild again, I've confirmed (in an exclusive KPNN interview with the Phantom) that there's really no one special in the Phantom's heart right at the moment... and what about his 'dream-girl'???... his reply, (I Quote)... "in my dreams lor".... (KPNN-Gossips)

Phantom's Latest FreeWare... TRY IT...

2002-06-03T17:41:00.000+08:00

Hi frenz...

On 1 June 2002, the Phantom's wholly-owned KPNN, announced that KPNN will launch their LOVE 2002, their NEW Freeware... fellow phantoms may download this POWERFUL INCREDIBLE tool that will "change the world" (as reported by NCNN 31 May 2002)...
MicroHARD *LOVE 2002* (TM) - by the PhAnToM

BEFORE DOWNLOADING LOVE *2002* (TM), please ensure your systems hardware meet the following requisites:- minimum Pentium Infinite Processor- M-HARD 2002 (Does not work with anything in association with SOFT)- 64 MB RAM (min. 6.6 inch Thrust, also can)- at least 20 GB Hard-disk space- CD-ROM or CONDOM for uploading safety - minimum VGA or VIAGRA Resolution for erective graphics - a Creative Sound Card (if you are installing MOANS as well)

DOWNLOADING INSTRUCTIONS:-
Go to the START menu and open your HEART. Put your hand on your chest if you can't locate your HEART.- Check if there are other programs running right now.-

If you see the programs PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running, No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE.

However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed.-

To turn off these programs, go to your Start menu and run FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.-

LOVE will start installing itself automatically and you should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. - Remember that now you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.-

If you encounter an error message that says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS", don't worry, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others. -

To do that, you must pull down the directory called "SELF ACCEPTANCE" and Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MY HEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely and permanently gone erased. -

You will then see your HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG will playing on your monitor and it will show that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over your HEART. -

Sometimes it will take a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here.

PS: One more thing, LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will share it with other people and then return some similarly sacred modules back to you.

PPS: Many people feel all they need is an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but the Manufacturer suggests a schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency. Put another way... keep in touch ...
(KPNN-PrimeNews)