If You Find It Hard To Forgive...

Hi,

I've been taking stock of my life regularly and lately, while doing some housekeeping on my PC, I notice some emails exchange I had with my ex-wife... many were angry, resentful and heated exchanges... Reading thru them brought back many bad memories and even tears..

This set me thinking... if someone had hurt me that bad, how can I ever forgive that person? How would forgiveness ever make things right? Or how would forgiveness bring justice to all the pain I went thru? Why should I even want to forgive?

Well friends, if you think that forgiveness is for the people that hurt you, then you're darn wrong.

Forgiveness is about YOU. It is about finding a closure for the things that are still hurting you.. things that are still keeping you angy & resentful.. things that still bring guilt and fear to you.. and things that takes away happiness from your lives..

For those who can't forgive, they will always be trapped within that state of pain, anger, resentment, guilt, etc... Such ill feelings will only deny you of the capacity and ability to find happiness and to embrace the love of others or the love of themselves.. As a result, one who can't forgive will always be sad, angry, etc... and his/her world will only be surrounded by vengeance, hatred, self-pity, etc.. There is no room for happiness, fun, love, etc..

I know because I've been there... for 5 years, I've been trapped... for 5 years, I've hated my ex-wife for all the injustice that she had done unto me... for 5 years, I've been planning and seeking justice... my whole life then, was nothing else but trying to get back what I deserved.

And you know what? Even if I had gotten the justice that I deserved... so what? Will that ease the pain that I already went thru? Will that ever recover what I've lost? The answer is NO... Then why was I so uptight in the first place?

You see, my friends, refusal to forgive is a good excuse to remain in pain, to get sympathy... to refuse to forgive, gives you "reasons" to remain angry, to indulge in resentfulness or self-pity.. and that's why many people do not want to forgive.. some even glorifies it...

So my friends, if you want to move on with life, if you want to find a closure to that thorn in your flesh, FORGIVE....

Cheers.
Martin