The Meaning Of LOVE...

When we talk about love, the first thing that comes to mind is probably, a romantic dinner, a walk hand-in-hand on the beach, snuggling up to each other or even a sensual sexual experience…

But the morbid truth is, those sweet nothings aren’t love. They are often short-lived. Then sacrifices, hardships, disappointments, pain, etc. will set in. It is only when we can weather all these sufferings and yet, still finds joy and satisfaction from it, that true love exists.

It is common that many find the sufferings of love hard to bear. As such, many of us develop a very deep misconception about love.

“If it is painful, how can that be love?”, some may ask.

“Indeed, love is not about sufferings. It is about finding joy.. in giving and in bearing the pain of loving someone”... will be my reply.

So how does one find love aka joy in bearing up the pains of love? Well, honestly, I’m still struggling with that question. But after going thru so much in life, I’ve found that it is really not difficult to love with no boundaries.

Love’s highest hierarchy is spiritual love… love for God (whatever your religion is)… You may say that this should be relatively easy loving someone as perfect as God. But yet, many can only accept God’s love. Few can reciprocate because God demands that we love everything and everybody in this world including our enemies. Finding divine love is most difficult as humans are selfish in many ways.

Next is genetic love (i.e. love of parents, children, siblings, etc). This comes very naturally as nature already builds a very strong bonding within us. Finding joy and satisfaction in making sacrifices and bearing pain for a kin is a lot easier. However, many still cannot love their kin as they should. Conflicts arise and sometimes, love becomes more of an obligation rather than love itself. When love becomes a burden or becomes an obligation, love spurns into something else (often, resentment, pain, etc). The trick is never to allow love to make that transition. Build on that natural bonding and uncover the power of love in overcoming whatever differences or challenges that may exist.

Love between spouses or partners. This is probably the most complex form of love. Often brought together initially by physical and/or emotional attractions, these are rarely reasons strong enough to build love. For relationships that pivot on physical and/or emotional attributes, it takes a lot of efforts for love to grow. This is because physical and emotional attractions are very strong catalysts of love. But at the same time, they are also the same reasons why couples will stray. To take love beyond physical and emotional boundaries, it requires a lot self motivation and determination to weather thru the challenges that love entails. And this, my friends, is what I think will bring us true love.

There are many other forms of love (I’m sure you guys will have no problem identifying them). But the underlying secret of finding true love is really about finding the self motivation and determination to weather thru the challenges of love. If your determination survives all the odds, you’d find love even if the one you love does not reciprocate. If not, all you feel is just hurt and disappointments.

PS:
And if you're one of those that are blessed by being loved by someone, don't forget to reciprocate.

Love,
The Phantom.

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