Inspirational Palm Sunday..

Dear frenz,

Today is Palm Sunday and I would like to share something spiritual with you today. Wait a minute, I'm not gonna preach ok... juz hear me out for a while... I know that there are a lot of non-Catholics out here... but juz that I find that what I've experienced today, is a good way to heal the pains that we all go thru each day...

For 38 yrs as a born-Catholic, I've heard the stories of Jesus time and again... but none of those times had I found what those "words" of GOD really meant... well, today it touched me... and it touched me in a way that it is truly amazing... as most of you would know by now, that I was going thru some of the most painful moments of my life... and especially so last week... I sat in church this morning as I would on any other Sundays when I managed to wake up for service... The priest delivered the gospel as usual and then as he moved on to the sermon, he did something very unusual... he said that this is Palm Sunday and he would like to asked us a favour... to open up our hearts today and not our ears ... to listen to what God is saying to us...

As I was very low in spirits, I did juz that... I closed my eyes, half- opened my heart and listened... (erm...I must truly confess that I usually sleep thru sermons but not today)... and then he went on with his sermon and this is what he said..."Brothers & Sisters, in your entire life as Christians, how times had you doubted the existence of God?".... and in my heart, I answered... often enuff to ask myself why the hell am I still here... and as if he heard me... he went on to say... "very often?? And each time, did you pray for his grace but your prayers were never answered???".... again in my heart I said... are u nuts??? If they were answered, I won't be feeling like shit now...

Then he asked if we knew who Terry Anderson was??? (never heard of him in the bible before and dunno who the ... erm... whatever)... he continued by saying, Terry Anderson was an American who was held hostage in Lebanon for seven years... and during which, he was put to a cell and had all that he had (dignity, money, family, etc..) taken away from him... he was tortured and subjected himself to all forms of abuses (erm... he didn't say anything abt sexual abuses though... hehehe)... and all he had was a koran and a bible with him in the cell...
And as he was hoping to find some answers in his moments of darkness, Terry Anderseon turned to the bible... and then he came to those words that Jesus said juz before Jesus died... "Father, forgive them... for they know not what they are doing"...

Anderson then asked God... "what are you saying???... are u telling me to forgive these terrorists that had held me against my will for all these years??? To forgive these bastards that had taken the best years of my life away from me??? That had inflicted all these pain and sufferings on me?? NO WAY!!!"

"And THAT my Brothers and Sisters"... said the priest, "is what that's hurting us... not the pain that we have to physically go thru... not the things that had been taken away from us... not the prayers that were not answered... but the selfish, unforgiving side of us that gives us inability to love because there's so much hatred, jealousy and greed in us... how many times had u asked your girlfren that u had done everything u cud for her... but why does she still hurt u??... how many times u asked that u had tried to be honest but why are u still being cheated... how many times u had tried to be all that God had asked u to be in his commandments but still all that u tried NOT to be are being done unto u??? that if God said that by not sinning is good then when I'm still punished for doing good???"...

Then he paused for a while as if to let those words sink into me... and yes... it struck me like lightning... all of a sudden, I felt all the anger, all the pain, all the disappointments and all the things that had been making me miserable for the past week... flushed right to my head that tears juz filled my eyes...

and then... The following words of God healed me... (the priest continued) "Borthers and Sisters, when Jesus walked into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, he knew he was going to die a painful death... he too had fears, felt pain and had disappointments... but he accepted it... why because he love us..."

I'm not gonna go on with the sermon... it would probably stone all of u with boredom... but what I'm trying to say here is... That if we love someone... something... some whatever... more than we love ourselves (yes, I must emphasize MORE THAN OURSELVES)... then all the hurt, all the anger, all the rejections, all the betrayals and all the disappointments will only be glorified by the divinity of love...

I had a good cry... but I felt real good after that... I was able to look at all that I've gone thru for the past week and smile... coz I've finally found peace with myself... I finally realized that thru all these years that I struggled thru life... all these years of sufferings and pain... all these years of disappointments and failures... all these years that I've been searching all over for answers... the answer had always been there with me... and I only need to reach out to it...

itz so damn hard to turn to the person who betrayed you, who hurt you, who tore your whole life into pieces... and say to him/her, "Itz ok... I forgive u"... for it is not what other's do to me that causes me the pain and miseries... it was what I did to myself (not able to forgive) that caused me all that...

I dunno if you guys here know what I'm saying here... but I do hope that u too, would eventually find the peace with yourselves that we so often run away from... perhaps, God is juz an imaginary fren that we look up to for spiritual hope and peace when we feel completely devastated by what that had hit us... but I think I've finally understood his words... that all the pain, all the rejections, all the denials and all the betrayals… were all insignificant if we juz found love in our hearts...

And TING, what u said last nite was so timely too... that it juz manifested upon the gospel message that I understood this morning... that if I really believed in God, he's always a step ahead of us paving the way for us... and he did so in sending u to me as my best fren... whom I can always turn to despite what people said abt us, despite what a let-down I may be at times and how stubborn I can get to shut everything else out of my life... (thank u for willing to be the chosen one)... and what the gospel spoke of today... that's probably God's way of healing me from all the bashing I suffered... to make me re-borned again...

it may had taken me 38 yrs to realize this (yah TING, I know wat u're gonna say, erm... I'm a slower learner mah)... but itz better late than never... as for all u other guyz out here... it was God's will that brought us together... so let's stick together and give strength to one another (juz like the characters in ICE AGE... a beautiful movie & itz not juz for kids)... and help each other thru whatever hard times we are experiencing... and discover the divine love within us...
and as the season of lent closes in, let's all reflect upon our lives and make peace with ourselves..
(KPNN-Inspirations)